The Concept of Help By Maulana Wahiduddin Khan 09.02.2020
Today a person asked me a question. The question is very important, and so I have made it the title for today. The question covers the whole of human history. Although it is a personal question, I found it so important that I have made it the title for my today's lecture. I will request Dr. Rajat to read out this question. The question is by a person who has said: “I was told to help others and I did so to date. I used to help anyone without thinking about my financial condition, under the impression that something good will happen to me. But instead of it, I lost everything and today I am on the edge of bankruptcy. The reason I wrote this mail is that I want to understand what mistake I have done. I need strength to face this situation.”
It is my discovery that in the entire human history all people have been living under an obsession of ‘helping others’. They believe that the greatest good is to help people.
I think that this ‘help’ is actually doing enmity toward others. A human being is born with the mind (aql). The mind is so great and powerful that nothing equals it in comparison. If there is anything greater than the human mind, it is God’s mind. In the whole of history, people have been thinking that the greatest quality or the greatest act of goodness is to help others. But I can say after a long experience that helping others is actually becoming an enemy for others.
The reason for this is that God has kept unlimited potential in the human mind.
If you help others a lot—if you have a child and give him everything—then his eyes will be diverted away from his own potential. He will not be able to convert his potential to actuality. Rather his focus would be on receiving and utilizing help from others. This is why children who receive a lot of money from their parents prove to be very unproductive and useless. When parents give a lot of dowry to their daughter, it proves to make her useless. I am saying this out of my experience.
The greatest help is a situation of compulsion. When God wants a person to achieve something great, He creates compulsion for that person. The greatest blessing of God is a situation of compulsion. But rich parents do not wish to see their children in any difficulty, which is why they give their children a lot of easy money.
But if the child undergoes hardship and difficulties, then that will prove to be ‘help’ for the child. Parents should not become enemies of their children. Rather they should allow their children to face hardships and situations of pressure. This will help awaken their potentials. Rich parents, in their love for the child, prevent the potential of their children from being actualized. They want all the work of their child to happen smoothly without him or her making any effort.
There are numerous examples from the whole of human history. God’s way is to create compulsion, and not to let man remain in comfort. For example, when God first created man, according to the Bible, God settled him in the Garden of Eden. This is mentioned in the Bible. I believe this is correct. Eden was very beautiful, fertile and the best land on earth. Everything was perfect there. Man was initially settled in Eden. The people of Eden became involved in fighting with one another and gave birth to the tribal system. Thus this region, which is today called Mesopotamia (the region between Tigris and Euphrates), became a place where people did no constructive work. Then God caused a flood to overwhelm that area. God then guided Prophet Noah to build a huge ark. The people of the time were housed in this Ark of Noah. Then God had the Ark pushed in the great floods. A great flood hit the region of Mesopotamia and Noah’s Ark sailed in it. The Ark waded through the floods and finally reached the coast of present-day Turkey. This has been referred to as Judi in the Quran. This was a cold region, while Mesopotamia was a region with warm climate. So the people of Noah were taken from a region with hot climate to a region of cold climate. Because of the hot climate, people of Mesopotamia had become involved in a lot of fighting. The generation raised there was engrossed in the culture of battle. Due to this, wisdom could not be fostered in the atmosphere of Mesopotamia. God wanted wisdom to develop. So He sent the people of Mesopotamia to Turkey and the rest of Europe, a region with cold climate.
It was in these regions that scientific technology was developed. For the development of wisdom, people need to do a lot of discussion amongst themselves, so that their minds are broadened or opened up. In the Mesopotamian regions, differences were taken in a negative sense. In the Muslim regions there was a lot of clash over differences. This is true even today. There are intellectual and political differences in which these people are deeply enmeshed. This is why the people of Mesopotamia were taken from a hot climate to a cold climate. In this region with cold weather, a different temperament developed and the tendency to fight came to an end. This is how this western region was able to discover technology.
Muslims settled in the regions of Iran and Arabia could not make these new discoveries. God first gave the horse to people for travelling. God later desired that people should travel on cars and aeroplanes. When man was born, he found horses in the jungles. He trained these horses for travel. Thus horse was available for free. Now God wanted people to utilize their minds and discover the hidden technology in nature, and thus construct aeroplanes. But due to the enormous differences over various issues, people could not utilize the potential of their minds. They were engaged in clash and conflict.
The people of colder climate, that is, the West discovered many things. I will speak about a very unique principle of the West.
The people of the West converted ‘difference’ into ‘dissent’. When it comes to differences, there is dichotomy. That is, I have an opinion and you have another opinion, and we both are involved in endless arguments to prove ourselves true. This is dichotomy. The West, however, developed the principle of dissent. Dissent is a neutral term. If one person is differing with another person on a matter, both will be neutral in their stands. Earlier there was no concept of having a neutral opinion—people were busy trying to determine which opinion was right and which one was wrong. The people of the colder regions discovered the principle of dissent. Those who lived in hot climate could not discover this principle and continued to live in dichotomy. Earlier there was only the concept of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. Now people of the West developed the concept of both opinions—for and against a matter—to be right. This is called dissent. It was then that development could happen.
Thus God gives shock treatment to people—He brought about a storm during the age of Noah which transferred people from Mesopotamia to Europe. Newton also had to experience an apple falling on his head. The apple fell on his head, and nowhere else. When something falls on our head from above, it hurts. This experience of the falling of an apple was from God. It made Newton ponder—he thought why did the apple fall down and not go up. Thinking in this way, he discovered the law of gravitation. I call this God’s way to create compulsion for people so that they go on the path of thinking. I call this method 'giving an apple shock’ to a person. All great achievements and discoveries in human history have happened by way of ‘apple shock’.
If a child is born to you, you tend to raise him in the midst of flowers. Keeping one’s child in flowers is not God’s way.
Children must be allowed to go through shocks. Then their minds will open up. All rich parents want to keep their children in comfort and ease. These parents do not know the wisdom of ‘apple shock’. Parents who know the wisdom of ‘apple shock’ are intelligent and their children will progress.
This is also why the children of poor parents are more successful. Rich parents with a lot of money do not know the wisdom of apple shock. This is why God created poverty and hardship. Because people could not discover the wisdom of ‘apple shock’, God made poverty and difficulty. There is a verse in the Quran in which God says: “We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives and crops. Give good news to those who endure with patience.” (2:155) ‘Apple shock’ means the shock of hardships and difficulties. Difficulties are God’s blessings.
According to a hadith, a person was once praying to God to have his hardship removed. Then listening to his prayer, God said to Gabriel: “O Gabriel, do not make haste in removing the hardship of this person (la tajal li-qaza hajati abdi), because I love to hear his voice.” Here, ‘voice’ means the thinking that develops in a person due to struggle and shock, which helps in his progress and development. God asked Gabriel to not remove the hardship of the person and let him continue in it, so that he could face the shock. This was because such a situation would awaken his potential and thus help actualize his God-given qualities.
The trend of helping people is not right. Rather people should be made to face hardships and problems, so that their potentials can be unfolded and become actuality. People do not allow their potentials to be unfolded. This is a great piece of wisdom in the Quran: “With every hardship, there is ease.” (94:5) Ease comes with hardships, or in other words, success comes with hardships. Shocks open up ways for a person. Shocks help a person to think more. This is God’s wisdom. God wants people to utilize their God-given wisdom and intelligence. When you give help to people, you let people’s God-given intelligence to remain asleep.
I have studied this matter extensively. Those who faced hardship were alone successful in life. I have seen this in my own family. I had a very large family. My elder brother, Abdul Aziz Khan, was in a very bad condition initially and was not given any respect in the family. Some even began to call him wretched. Then my brother, when he faced many difficulties and hard circumstances, became a hero. He went ahead to achieve the greatest amount of success in the entire family. Whereas those in our family who were given a lot of love and affection could not achieve any success.
I want you all to understand that the concept of helping others is not natural. What do I mean by ‘help’? I help people by imparting wisdom through my books on the secrets of life. My concept of ‘helping people’ is different. The concept of help common among people is to give people clothes, food and money, for free. This is the model of Mother Teresa—giving things to people for free. But this mission failed completely. Mother Teresa’s very close friend has written a book in which she has revealed that Mother Teresa died in agony. This is because she could not attain anything. If, on the contrary, you see the Tatas—they gave a gift to the country in terms of the steel industry, aviation, and so on. The Tatas have given many great gifts to our country.
I believe that an intelligent father is one who allows his child to bear hardships. He lets his children struggle. He should not earn money and give it for free to his children. He should let his children work hard. You can experience this on your own—if a father of a family remained in difficulties and could not give his children money, then his children would be more successful. But if a father had given a lot of money to his children and bestowed a lot of comforts on them, then his children would not be successful. This is the law of nature. God has established in the whole of history that success comes through pressure, problems, difficulties and tough situations.
The Quran says: “We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives and crops. Give good news to those who endure with patience.” (2:155) Here, ‘good news’ (tabshir) is used because difficulties alone lead to success. There is success in patience. All success is through one who remains patient in the midst of hardships. There is no success in being in comfort.
Where did the civilization and the developed world airse from? The Muslims of the thirteenth century were involved in the Crusades against the Christian kings. This war of Crusades continued for about two hundred years. The Christians suffered a humiliating defeat in the Crusades. These defeated people from the Crusades then discovered modern technology. The hidden treasures in the natural world—aeroplane, radio, computer and other technology—have all been discovered by those who were ingloriously defeated in the Crusades.
I will say to the one who has written to me the above letter that he should change his way of thinking. Helping others does not mean to give them money, rather he should impart wisdom to them. Helping others is not to give them money, but to give them wisdom. If you want to know more about what it means to impart wisdom, then read my most recent book ‘The Secret of Success’. The secret of success does not lie in having a silver spoon in your mouth when you were born, as had happened with Jawaharlal Nehru. Rather if a child faces difficulties and hardships, then he is fortunate.
Please read my book to know the secret of success in life. The secret is not in having love and affection, but rather to face the realities of life. One should have experience of the realities of life. One should be ready to face shocks.
Question and Answer Session
Tariq Badar Sb, who was just mentioned, is a great asset for us. He is the only person in his area who is spreading the Quran mission. I first met him in California. There was another person along with him who used to speak a lot and was very dynamic in personality. I was very fascinated by this person who would speak a lot and only focused on him, but paid no attention to Tariq Badar Sb. But later during our stay, this other person whom I was impressed by left midway. It was only then that my attention turned toward Tariq Badar Sb. When a member of ours had left, I was sad, but at the same time I got another member. This member, Tariq Badar Sb, is now a hero of our mission. Had the other person whom I was too much focused on not left me, I would have not discovered Tariq Sb. So I learnt that if you lose something, you will find something else. Tariq Sb is very precious for our mission. Had the other person whom I was impressed with not left me, I would never have turned my attention to Tariq Sb. If you have lost something, know that God has kept something else in store for you to discover.
Q1. I need to know how to develop marefat, wisdom?
A1. My experience is that wisdom, or marefat (God-realization), is already inside a person in great quantity, just as an apple has its juice. But to extract its juice, the apple needs to be crushed. However, a person is not ready to have himself ‘crushed’. People generally try to receive help from others. According to me, a person should instead be given wisdom, that is, he should be told that he should be ready to have himself ‘crushed’. To unfold one’s potentials and qualities, one has to be willing to have oneself ‘crushed’. If a person is not allowed to ‘crush’ himself, he would not develop. Parents give a lot of love to their children which is why they do not develop. Unless children experience shocks, they would not develop.
Q2. Most people make the mistake of overestimating themselves, and as a result they become frustrated. How to judge if a work is within one’s capacity or not?
A2. I believe that the greatest disadvantage to Muslims was that Iqbal gave them the concept of khudi (the notion of the self). This is a disastrous notion. The right notion is that of anti-khudi (anti-self). Because of the concept of khudi, Iqbal’s followers could not succeed. Many people would dislike what I say. But I want to speak the truth. Muslims need to leave Iqbal and his thinking. In every mosque, Iqbal’s poems are read out. Iqbal has only given sweet poison to the community. Many people would be angry with my opinion. But I want to tell the truth to people before I die, as we all have to face God after death. There was no one who misguided people more than Iqbal. Due to him, most Muslims believe in a wrong notion of qawmiyyat. They could not thus understand their age. It is an irony that only Muslims could not understand their age. People of all other communities could understand their age and made great progress. Muslims, however, followed Iqbal who only misled them and thus they could not succeed. Many would be angry with me, but I have to only speak the truth. Self-thinking is disastrous for a person. One must develop anti-self thinking. One can only succeed if one has anti-self thinking. Self-thinking can never lead to success.
Q3. Last week I saw you giving blessing to a girl who was going through depression. Many people are committing suicide these days. My daughter’s classmate was going through therapy for depression and was very good in studies, but still he committed suicide. What can we as parents and teachers do to help such children?
A3. I will tell you my own experience. I went to Pakistan several years ago. At the Lahore airport, a young boy came to receive me along with others. I could not recognize the young man. He said to me: “You do not recognize me, but I know you.” He then told me his story. He had gone into extreme depression. There was a hospital which did therapy for the depressed. He was admitted to the hospital, but it did not help him at all. Then a person whom he met gave him my book ‘Raaz-e-Hayat’. After reading this book, the young boy told the doctors to release him, as he said that he was feeling completely fine. His depression had gone completely and he began working again. This is why I believe that people need not be helped with money, rather they should be given wisdom. Giving money to people is killing their potential, while imparting wisdom to them is awakening their potential. The leaders of our community could not understand this secret. The real success of life is in awakening a person’s potential. Leaders of our community only misguided people’s potentials. Those who want to know the truth about the matter should read my book 'The Secret of Success', or ‘Raaz-e-Hayat' in Urdu.
Q4. In the present era, the youth is not interested in books, especially Islamic literature. Please advise on how to develop interest in them toward Islamic literature and the Quran.
A4. We are living in an age of reason, while leaders of our community tend to speak in the traditional language of pride. There is no reason or rationale in their words. Such a language only misleads people. I began to write with reason which is why many people received guidance from my books. Books written in the language of politics and pride have not done any good, while books I have written, are based on reason, and have impacted people positively.
Comment. Parents only know how to pamper. Pampering is poison.
Q5. As per God’s creation plan there will always be a section of people who are underprivileged. Those who are privileged are asked to help the poor. This is the concept of charity in Islam. Charity or zakat is meant for helping the poor. Most of us give alms to poor in the form of zakat, thinking we are helping the poor. Please comment.
A5. The term ‘weaker section of the society’ is wrong. Those whom you term ‘weaker’ are actually ‘richer’. They have a greater incentive to work and achieve. Incentive is a greater force than money. A very important point I want to make is that God has in this age given numerous scopes to people for acquiring to people.
For every person, there is great opportunity to earn money. He can develop his skill and earn a lot of money. The dichotomy of beggars (faqir) and givers is over now. We are no more living in an age of ‘poor’ people. The age of the poor is completely over. Now earning is so easy that if you develop your skill, you can achieve all kinds of success. The task before a person is to develop one’s skill and not to extend his hands before others so that they give him money. People do not know that the skill they develop is the greatest wealth. I do not believe that people should extend their hands for money. Rather you should educate people to develop their God-given potential, develop a skill, and thus achieve success. This is an age in which there are innumerable opportunities for earning money.
Q6. Creating a compulsion is a big blessing. I understood this today. The concept of dissent led to material progress, but how did it help in spiritual progress?
A6. When the culture of dissent did not exist, people only engaged in argumentation. Every person lived in the concept of dichotomous thinking. Dissent, for the first time, was a neutral concept. There were no more arguments on proving oneself right and others wrong. This concept led to development and progress in the world. Before the culture of neutral discussions, there was no progress in the world. All kinds of science and technology only developed after the culture of dissent became prevalent.
Q7. Why are there ranks in Paradise? There is caste system in the present world, but why ranks in Paradise?
A7.
You must understand God’s planning. God gave an opportunity to man to do self-discovery. That is, one must discover one’s own self and build one’s own self. Progress is not being bestowed here from high above, rather it is something to be acquired through one’s own "struggle" and level of self-development. As a result, there will naturally be different ranks among people. It is not ‘ranking’, rather the differentiation is a natural and practical result of difference in one’s own struggles.
Q8. Is the zakat to be utilized for creating incentive for people? Please comment.
A8. This is true. You should utilize zakat for anything that benefits people.
