Overcoming our Weak Emaan ( FAITH) and Having Taqwa (Fear Of Allah)

WEAKNESS OF FAITH (IMAAN) & HAVING TAQWA  

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem

"Devote your nafs to the company of those who call their Rabb morning and evening intending (thereby) His Face. . ."

Thus, the Qur'aan Majeed commands association–constant companionship–with the Auliyaa. Such company produces love for Allah Ta'ala. In these days of fitnah and fasaad (mischief and corruption) it is urgently needed to be in company of such people who can guide us in times of need.

Never give up making du'a to Allah. It may not happen now, it may not happen next month, but it will happen when Allah knows is best for you.

 All praise belongs to Allah, we praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil of our own souls and from our evil deeds. Whomever Allah guides, none can lead astray, and whomever Allah leaves astray, none can guide. I bear witness that there is no god except Allah alone, with no partner or associate, and I bear witness that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is His slave and Messenger.

  
 “O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except as Muslims.” Al Imran 3:102

O you who believe! The message is clearly directed to us as believers. It is not a general statement but addressed specifically to the believers and hence the emphasis – O you who believe – Fear Allah.  Fear Allah as He should be feared and die not but as Muslims.  This ayah from the Surah Al Imran (3:102) states a simple and straightforward message that forms the basis of our Iman i.e. having Taqwa.  .

The word Taqwa, having the fear of Allah, has been mentioned in the Qur'an 251 times as an indication of the importance of the subject and the dimension that the concept of Taqwa – the fear of Allah swt.

Signs of weak Imaan (Faith)::

1.Not doing acts of worship properly

2. Not being moved by the verses of the Qur'an

3.Not practicing what one preaches

4.Trying to find shortcuts by treading close to ‘makrooh’ and haram

5. Excessive arguing and disputing

6.Taking sins lightly

7.Feeling that one’s heart is hard and rough

8.Being stingy and miserly

9.Feeling envious and jealous of others’ blessings

10. Going to extremes in demanding luxury

11.Lack of concern about other Muslims’ affairs

12.Not Remembering Allah through DHIKR:

Now please read on in detail how to Overcome our Weak Emaan ( FAITH)

Source of the Article:: http://www.iqrasense.com/faith-and-iman/symptoms-of-weak-faith-eeman-heart.html

Weakness of faith (Emaan) is a common complaint among many brothers and sisters who contact me. Those who are aware and conscious of it struggle to find ways to overcome it. Faith, as we know, is directly connected with the heart. Allah has warned us against the heart that is hardened, black, closed, sick, blind and sealed. The spiritual health of our hearts determines the strength of our faith. When our faith is weak, we can see it in our everyday actions both in what we do and in our prayers.

When our faith is weak, we are more likely to fall into sins until we completely get desensitized to their ghastly nature. The Messenger of Allah peace and blessings be upon him described the heart ravaged by weakness in the sahih hadith by stating: “The heart will be subjected to trial after trial, and there will appear a black stain on any heart that is affected, which will spread until the heart is completely black and sealed, as it were, so that it will not recognise any good deed or denounce any evil, except whatever suits its own desires.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 144)

So what do do? To improve this condition we need to know the symptoms of our weak faith so we can work hard to rid ourselves and cure ourselves, just as we take medicine to cure our sickness.. likewise we take practical steps to cure our weak Emaan. Remember the cure lies with ourselves and our desire to be cured..there is no special or magical solution other than seeking Allah's help! 

The best cure lies within ibadah.

The following highlights some of the symptoms of our weak faith.

1.Not doing acts of worship properly

Acts of worship such as Salat (prayers) are more meaningful when done in a state of Khushu. If you treat your salah as a CHORE, you will not enjoy it. Treat it as a CONVERSATION between you and Allah, and your perception should change.This is a state in which one attains a state of complete concentration and focus while standing before Allah. The Prophet’s fear of Allah and the gratitude that he felt for The Almighty drove him to stand all night in complete concentration in voluntary prayers. When those of us who cannot attain even a fraction of that state of concentration in obligatory prayers (let alone the voluntary prayers), then that is an indication of the weakness of our faith. Such weakness also comes to light when we fail to concentrate in other ibadat such as during reading of the Quran, doing dhikr, making du'aa, etc. We should not forget that worship to Allah is meant to strengthen our connection with Allah and not meant to be a mere mechanical act; it requires thinking about what one is saying and focusing on its meaning.

Let us remind ourselves that such Ibadat performed with a heedless heart may not be accepted by Allah. We know from a hadith that Allah “does not accept the du’aas of one whose heart is heedless of Him.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 3479; al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 594). Let us also not forget that Allah has described those who take salat lightly as hypocrites. He states in the Qur'an:

“… and when they stand up for prayer, they stand up with laziness…” [Quran, Surah An-Nisaa :142)].

Other signs of weakness of faith with regard to prayers are: failing to attend prayers in congregation, not feeling any remorse or guilt if one of the obligatory prayers is missed, not offering a sunnah prayer that is strongly encouraged, deliberately omitting doing anything that is sunnah or fard, such as not fasting in the month of Ramadan and so on. Having an attitude of such indifference goes contrary to what Allah described the believers. He says in the Qur’an:

“… they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us.” [Quran (Surah Al-Anbiya’:90)]

2. Not being moved by the verses of the Qur'an

The verses of the Qur'an brought light to a world that was enveloped in total darkness and ignorance. These verses of truth made people understand their Lord, softened hearts, changed minds, and made people Muslims. Allah attested to the power of these words when He, The Almighty, said in the Quran:

“Had We sent down this Qur'an on a mountain, you would surely have seen it humbling itself and rent asunder by the fear of Allah. Such are the parables which We put forward to mankind that they may reflect.” [Quran (Surah Al-Hashr: 21)]

The verses of the Qur'an cannot fail to affect a true believer whose faith is strong. He takes seriously its message of guidance, commands and prohibitions, and the path that he or she will take after departing from this life. These verses ought to bring a believer of strong faith to tears. But for those with a weakness in their faith will notice their hearts unmoved with the message of the Qur'an.

About those who are affected by its recitations and pondering of its message, Allah says in the Qur'an:

“Allah has sent down the Best Statement, a Book (this Qur'an), its parts resembling each other (in goodness and truth) (and) oft-repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allah. That is the guidance of Allah. He Guides therewith whom He wills; and whomever Allah sends astray, for him there is no guide.” [Quran (Surah Az-Zumar:23]

3.Not practicing what one preaches

Hypocrisy is strongly condemned in Islam. How many people are hypocrites? They anyone thing and go and do the other! Those of us who cannot walk their talk in their daily living of Islam within their homes as well as outside suffer from the weakness of their faith. It is imperative, therefore, that one who preaches to others, the one who gives sermons and lectures, the one who teaches and advises, should himself follow the teachings. He should practise what he preaches, as a good example and role model for others to follow. A good honest leader is one with these qualities. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful is it with Allah that you say that which you do not do.” [Quran (Surah As Saff :2-3]

4.Trying to find shortcuts by treading close to ‘makrooh’ and haram

Not giving importance to what is approved by Allah and what is disapproved, leads some people to find "shortcuts" and tread close to the territory of haram, or as one says..in the footsteps of the Shaytaan. This gets them involved in ‘makrooh’ acts (undesirable but not haram). However, makrooh deeds eventually ensnare them in haram deeds. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever falls into doubtful matters falls into haram, like a shepherd who grazes his flock around a place where he is not allowed – he will soon enter it…” (Reported by al-Bukhaari and Muslim; this version narrated by Muslim, no. 1599).

Such weakness of faith nurtures an attitude that seeks any fatwa providing legitimacy to their desired actions. This shows one’s readiness to commit the first level of haram, taking small sins lightly. This can then lead to boldness in transgressing even further and violating the limits set by Allah. It is for this reason that for example, in the following verse, Allah not only forbade the act of “zinaa” but also told us not to get even near it (through acts that gradually pushes one to it).

“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him). [Quran (Surah Al-Isra:32)]”

5. Excessive arguing and disputing

When the intent to correct someone goes too far and is overtaken by the desire to be right, one walks into the realm of argumentation and dispute. That in turn is a weakness of faith. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said, “No people will go astray after having being guided except that they become argumentative.” (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/252; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5633).

Arguing with no proof and for no good reason leads one far away from the straight path, and most people enter into futile arguments without knowledge or guidance or reference to the Qur'an. Futile arguments should be avoided as the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise to the one who forsakes argument even when he is in the right.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 5/150; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1464).

Where arguments happen, calm yourself down first. Then try to come to common terms. Then try to tackle what it was that led to the argument slowly and carefully and try to unrest and each other's point of view. Except that everyone has a different opinion and outlook in life. Try to compromise. Listen to what the others say and try to accept what they say without any further conflict. Agree to disagree. Move on!

6.Taking sins lightly

Weakness of faith makes a person take sins lightly, and he does not think that he has done anything wrong. Describing the difference in the attitude of the believer and the hypocrite, Ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The believer sees his sins as if he were sitting beneath a mountain which he fears will fall on him, whilst the sinner sees his sins as if it were a fly passing his nose and he says such-and-such to it” – i.e., he shoos it away with his hand. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 11/102; Taghleeq al-Ta’leeq, 5/136, Al-Maktab al-Islami).

Committing sins without regard to their seriousness can desensitize one to their effects and eventually emboldens one to even publicise them. Regarding such a person the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) has said: “All of my ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly, an example of which is a man who does something at night, and when morning comes and Allah has concealed his sin, he says, ‘O So-and-so, I did such and such yesterday.’ His Lord had covered his sin all night, but he has uncovered what Allah had concealed.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath 10/486).

7.Feeling that one’s heart is hard and rough

Hardness of heart is another symptom of weak faith. One can easily detect such hardness when one’s heart remains unmoved even by reminders of the sounding of the adhan, death or on seeing the dead and attending funerals. A person may carry the dead to his grave and throw earth into the grave, yet not recognise the gravity of what all of us will face one day. Allah describes this condition when He (Subhnahu wa taala ) says:

“Then, after that, your hearts were hardened and became as stones or even worse in hardness” [Quran (Surah Al-Baqarah:74)]

8.Being stingy and miserly

Islamic guidance encourages one to spend their wealth on various causes such as the poor and other noble deeds. To spend on ten family and provide their needs. Allah says:

“Those who spend their wealth in the Cause of Allah, and do not follow up their gifts with reminders of their generosity or with injury, their reward is with their Lord. On them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” [Quran, Surah Al-Baqara:262)]

However, reluctance to spend on those who are in need out of fear that one’s own wealth will be diminished, is a clear indication of the weakness of one’s faith in Allah The Benevolent, The Provider of rizq. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Stinginess and faith never exist together in the heart of the believer.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, al-Mujtaba, 6/13; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2678).

9.Feeling envious and jealous of others’ blessings

A person with a strong faith knows that Allah bestows His blessings on whom He pleases. The weakness of faith, however, can make us to question the fairness of it all leading us to compare our blessings with others giving birth to feelings of envy and jealousy. Envying others and feeling jealous of worldly possessions that others have goes against the teachings of Allah and His prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Emaan and hasad do not exist together in the heart of the true slave.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 5/150; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1464).

10. Going to extremes in demanding luxury

The obsession to have various materials, luxuries and amenities of this life has created a cut throat culture mesmerising those whose faith is not as strong. Whether it is about staying in tune with the latest looks, trends of fashion, or the need to have have the latest gadgets and fancy living, the attraction of such luxuries is diverting our attention from vital life matters. We should know that such obsessions carry the risks of consuming ones life to the point where we start neglecting our responsibilities toward our Creator and families. As reported in the hadeeth of Mu’aadh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him): When the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) sent him to Yemen, he advised him: “Beware of luxury, for the slaves of Allah do not live a life of luxury.” (Reported by Abu Na’eem in al-Hilyah, 5/155; Silsilat al-Saheehah, 353.

There is nothing wrong with having high tech or latest state of the art things, but one should never forget the remembrance of Allah or become ignorant and arrogant through its use and ownership.

11.Lack of concern about other Muslims’ affairs

Lack of interest in the affairs of Muslims, be it by making Du'aa, giving charity or helping them, is another sign of weak faith. It is even worse when one remains unconcerned and indifferent towards the oppression, suppression and disasters suffered by fellow Muslims in other parts of the world. The Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The believer’s position in relation to his fellow believers is like that of the head to the body; the believer feels the pain of his fellow believers as the body reacts to the pain suffered by the head.” (Musnad Ahmad, 5/340; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 1137).

12.Remembering Allah through DHIKR:

Remembering Allah much through acts of dhikr brings much peace and tranquility to the heart. It also gives us a sense of taqwa(fear of allah), a consciousness that makes us realise that Allah Almighty is ever near and that we should always strive to please Him. 

Some beneficial dhikr include: 

Subhan'Allah- 'Praise be to Allah' 
Al-Hamdullilah- 'Thanks be to Allah' 
Allahu Akbar – 'Allah is the Greatest.'
La ila ha illallah- There is no worthy of worship except allah

Abu haraira(ra) Narrates: Prophet(saw) said: whoever says: Subhanallahi Wa Bihamdihi – (I deem Allah free of any resemblances to anything whatever in any repeat, and I glorify his praises) one hundred times a day will have his sins forgiven even though they may be as much as the foam of the sea – (Bukhari,b73:c19)
Read much of this zikr:

Subhaan-Allahi walhamdu-lillaahi, wa laa ilaa-ha illa-la ill-lal-lahu wallahu Akbar, walaa haula wala quoow-wata illa billa hil-Aliyyil-azeem. 

"Glory is for Allaah and all Praise is due to Allah. There is none worthy of worship except Allaah. Allaah is the greatest. There is no power and no strength except with Allaah the Most High, the Great." 

Conclusion

Knowing the existence of problem is a prerequisite to finding the solution to those problems. Constant evaluation of our self can help us be on the watch for these symptoms. Once we know about the existence of such symptoms, we can work to cure them both in our hearts and actions.

Read more in  http://www.khutbahbank.org.uk/More_khutbahs/Weakness%20of%20Faith.htm

read more in http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?40459-10-steps-to-increase-our-imaan(faith)

Islamic Beard, Is it mandatory in Islam ?

Allah says: “O you who believe, why do you say what you do not do? It is most hateful to Allah for you to say what you do not do.” [Sûrah al-Saff: 2-3].practice what you preach. People generally look positively on those who practice what they preach. http://quranweekly.com/practice-what-you-preach/

Islam has its own culture, and growing a beard is part of the Islamic culture.

The question is why should a believer, who professes to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and who professes to follow the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws), want to grow a beard?
The answer is simple. Today, you might have seen many youngsters copy the fashion of sport-stars, Hollywood-stars or anybody else whom they love. If you notice today, many hot Hollywood stars and sport stars are sporting a "goatie" beard! And true to fashion, you see a lot of people around today who keep "goatie" beards!!! As Muslim, our role model should always be the Prophet (saws). We love to copy everything he did ... he had a beard, and if indeed, we want to follow the Messenger of Allah (saws), we should strive to grow a beard.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzab verse 21:There is indeed the best model for you in the Messenger of Allah, for every such person looks forward to Allah and the Last Day, and remember Allah much. The easiest way is to grow a beard like him and adopt his hair style.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.651 Narrated by Abu Said Al Khudri
The Prophet said, "There will emerge from the East some people who will recite the Qur'an but it will not exceed their throats and who will go out of (renounce) the religion (Islam) as an arrow passes through the game, and they will never come back to it unless the arrow, comes back to the middle of the bow (by itself) (i.e., impossible). The people asked, "What will their signs be?" He said, "Their sign will be the habit of shaving (of their beards).

But if a believer does not want to sport a beard for whatever reason, the other believers should not make an issue out of it. What is important in Islam and in the sight of Allah, is that one truly believes and does good righteous deeds. And when that happens, it is expected that the beard will follow soon after!

The beard is nothing more than a sign that the believer truly wants to follow a Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws). There are many people who have long beards, but do deeds against the commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws). And there are many people who are amongst the best believers, but do not have beards! Allah will not decide the recipient of His Mercy and His Forgiveness from the appearance of the individual; but rather He will decide whether the person believed and did righteous deeds, as he was commanded by Allah and His Messenger (saws).

source of the article : http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/1625

ইসলামী বিধানে দাড়ি রাখার গুরুত্ব কী?
প্রশ্ন : ইসলামী বিধানে দাড়ি রাখার গুরুত্ব কী এবং একজন মুসলিম ইচ্ছে করলে কি দাড়ি নাও রাখতে পারেন? না রাখলে তার ফলাফল কী হবে বা কী রকম গুনাহ হতে পারে?
উত্তর : সমস্ত ওলামায়ে কেরামের মতে, দাড়ি রাখাকে শায়ার (ইসলামের নিদর্শনগুলোর মধ্যে একটা) বলা হয়েছে। যদিও ইসলাম এ ব্যাপারে শুধু একক নয়। কিন্তু তার পরও ইসলামের অন্যতম শায়ার হচ্ছে দাড়ি রাখা।
দ্বিতীয়ত এ বিষয়ে শাইখুল ইসলাম তাইয়ুমা (রহ.), এর আগে আবু মোহাম্মদ এরা সবাই এবং সমস্ত ওলামায়ে কেরামগণ এ বিষয়ে মতৈক্য প্রকাশ করেছেন যে, দাড়ি রাখার বিধান হচ্ছে ইসলামে ওয়াজিব এবং বাধ্যতামূলক।
আল্লাহর রাসুল (সা.)-এর অসংখ্য হাদিসের মাধ্যমে এটি প্রমাণিত হয়েছে। সুন্নাহ তিরমিজি, সুন্নাহ আবু দাউদের মধ্যে রাসুলুল্লাহ (সা.) বলেছেন, ‘ওয়ারখুল্লাহা’ অর্থাৎ তোমরা দাড়িকে ছেড়ে দাও। কোনো কোনো রেওয়াতের মধ্যে রাসুল (সা.) বলেছেন, ‘ওয়ারখুল্লাহা’ অর্থাৎ ‘দাড়িকে তোমরা ছেড়ে দাও’। এভাবে বিভিন্ন শব্দে রাসুল (সা.) এ বিষয়ে নির্দেশ দিয়েছেন। রাসুল (সা.) নিজে দাড়ি রেখেছেন, সাহাবিরা দাড়ি রেখেছেন এবং অপছন্দ করেছেন তাদের, যারা দাড়ি রাখেননি। এ জন্য দাড়ি রাখার বিষয়টি ইসলামের মধ্যে খুবই গুরুত্বপূর্ণ। এটাকে আমরা আসলে বিভিন্ন কারণে সাধারণ বা হালকা মনে করে নিয়েছি। মুসলমানদের মধ্যে ইসলামের যে ঐতিহ্য ও সৌন্দর্য, সেগুলো আমরা আস্তে আস্তে ভুলে যাচ্ছি এবং অমুসলিমদের সঙ্গে সেগুলোকে আমরা মিলিয়ে ফেলছি। বিশেষ করে দাড়ি কামানোর দৃষ্টিভঙ্গিটি।
কেউ দাড়ি না রাখলে তিনি গুনাহগার হবেন তাতে কোনো সন্দেহ নেই।
প্রশ্ন উত্তরে ড.মুহাম্মাদ সাইফুল্লাহ
আপনি আপনার প্রশ্নও পাঠাতে পারেন আমাদের ই-মেইলেঃ dawatulhaqmulti
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ISLAMIC NIKAH

NOTE FROM COMPILER:

1.   THE INTENTION OF THIS POST IS TO SHARE INFORMATION FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL PEOPLE.PLEASE SHARE IT WITH YOUR RELATIVES AND FRIENDS.MAYBE IT WILL HELP SOMEBODY.ITS SADAQA JAARIYAH TO SPREAD KNOWLEDGE THAT HELPS OTHERS..

2.   Openness about sexual matters has been lost over time, and discussions about sex have become taboo. At the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the Sahabah were not too shy to ask about all affairs, including sexual matters, so as to know the teachings of Islam in these matters.

3.   Muslims have deviated from the path shown to them by their religion and their Prophet(PBUH) .On the other hand, all good values that were propagated by Prophet Muhammad (SAW) are adopted and implemented by today’s western world.What science has found today, Its told by our prophet (PBUH) 1400 years ago.

4.   ALL THE SOURCES OF INFORMATION ARE INDICATED SO THAT THE READERS CAN GO TO THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE TO READ HIMSELF/HERSELF .

ASSAMESE MUSLIM MARRAIGE

http://saleemindia.blogspot.com/2016/03/assamese-muslim-marriage-are-different.html

NIKAH IN ISLAM

There is no marriage license in the Muslim wedding (though the witnesses need to sign a 'proof of Nikah', which testifies that the marriage has taken place and that the bride has given her full consent). Bride and groom will not be asked to fill in any forms, as this is done by the priest.
Any male Muslim who understands the traditions of Islam may perform the wedding ceremony, although many mosques have dedicated marriage officers. In most cases, however, the Qazi -- an elder of the mosque -- will officiate in the service, as he is the most knowledgeable in the community. No female Muslim may officiate in the service.
The Muslim bride's family too, must not indulge in spending too much for the feast that they will want to hold after the marriage. It is only the duty of the Muslim bridegroom's family to have a feast or Walima, and invite all friends and family members for the feast.A marriage banquet, or Walima, follows the ceremony at the boys house/ place, served to the men and women separately.
After the Walima meal, the couple are seated together for the first time, and can start their married life.
A letter, very informative……..
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Salam, sister.
Congratulations for your engagement and welcome to the fold of Islam.
Thank you for your trust in our service, and for being so conscious of doing the right thing as a good Muslim. May Allah always guide you to what pleases Him and grant you and your loved ones happiness.
How Islam Views Marriage
Marriage is an act of worship and obedience to Allah, Who commands the husband and wife to respect and love each other, to create a peaceful home, and to help each other in rearing good Muslim children to make a positive difference to the world.
It is also a lawful response to the basic instincts of intimacy within a detailed system of rights and duties. Muslims are instructed on how to channel these desires to live a tranquil, settled life. The Qur'an says what gives the meaning of:
*{And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect.}* (Ar-Rum 30:21)
Many verses of the Qur'an discuss marriage, family relations, and domestic etiquette, so I encourage you to do some readings in preparation for your new life.
Engagement: A Promise of Marriage
It is important to clarify that engagement in Islam is just a promise of marriage. It does not entitle fiancés to any special rights over one another, other than publicly declaring serious interest in a life-long commitment to each other under Allah's law.
So Muslim fiancés should be conscious of that fact while dealing with each other during the engagement period, the same rules of decent conduct apply that they would normally follow while dealing with a member of the opposite sex who is a non-mahram. That is, your fiancé is not your lawful husband yet. That could change only after they have been formally declared husband and wife.
So while an engaged couple may freely discuss their values and ethics, plan for their future life together, and choose and prepare a home to live in after they are married, they should also be careful to avoid privacy together and the type of intimacy that is only allowed between married couples in Islam.
After all, an engagement is just a declaration of intention to get married, and only if and when both sides feel absolutely certain of that decision. It should be clear that an engagement – like any preliminary contract or letter of understanding – can be revoked at any point before the commitment of marriage, without any formal consequences to either side.
Muslims believe that they will never get anything that Allah had not destined for them; nor will they ever lose anything that was meant to be theirs. Therefore, if a man and woman were destined by Allah for each other, there will be plenty of time to express their feelings freely once they are married. If not, then obviously there is no need to create bitter memories and any deeds you would not want to face Allah with.
You say you do not wear hijab, so while you have the right to be happy and look beautiful on this special occasion, you are also expected to do that in a modest and conservative way, taking into consideration that the men around are non-mahram to you. May Allah guide you and support you to please Him as best you can.
Suggestions for the Ceremony
There are no specific rituals to follow when two Muslims are getting engaged, so the celebration details are left to the tradition of each community, as long as they do not contradict Islamic teachings by actions such as drinking alcohol, mixed dancing, offering prohibited foods, invoking other gods for happiness or luck, etc.
Here are some informal suggestions to help you plan. Feel free to improvise as you see fitting within Islamic guidelines:
You may like to invite a friend who has a good voice to recite some verses of the Qur'an at the start of your gathering. The verses could be on the beauty of marriage, and tranquility and affection Allah creates between husbands and wives.
You could also invite the imam of your local mosque or Islamic center to give a short speech on love and marriage guidelines in Islam.
Do not forget to invite your close friends and relatives as well, even if they are non-Muslims. Islam encourages us to be friendly and warm to everyone as long as they are kind and friendly to us. You can encourage them to write their wishes and advice for you in a special book you prepare for this occasion.
You and your fiancé could share with your guests the story of how you met and what made you choose each other for marriage.
It is up to you whether to wear engagement rings. Just make sure that the one for the man is not made of gold, as this is prohibited for men in Islam. You can also prepare a special meal or dessert to share with your guests as you accept their congratulations and good wishes.
Muslims have produced some cultural manifestations that are not essential parts of Islam. You can take them or leave them. It might help you to get to know these manifestations to help you adjust in your new life as a Muslim.
So after being engaged, you and your fiancé could spend useful and enjoyable halal lawful time together by sharing learning and knowledge to prepare for your future life, by reading books, attending courses, or listening to lectures together on the rights and responsibilities of husbands and wives, rearing children in Islam, and on how to build a stable, happy relationship that also fulfils your duty to Allah.
You may like to compile a gift 'wish list' of useful educational material for your new life and pass it on to your friends who want to give you presents. They could also give you gift certificates to buy what you need. Many online Muslim product stores offer that service in Europe, the United States, and Canada.
Do Not Ignore Your Parents
A whisper in your ear, sister: It is very important for a Muslim woman to include her parents in her wedding plans, even if they are non-Muslim. Parents enjoy very high esteem in Islam, second only to Allah's, in return for all the pain and hardships they went through to protect and care for their children and give them a good life.
So, even if you anticipate resistance from your parents to the new life you chose for yourself, you are recommended to be patient and to try your best to win them over and to get their blessings for your marriage
Try all you can to get them to attend. It is a good opportunity to soften their hearts when they see how happy and content you are with the good man you chose for a husband.
Try to make them see that Islam did not take you away from them; instead, it has made you an even better daughter, and it has also won them a good son: your fiancé, whose religion commands him to be kind, respectful, and affectionate to your parents and to you.
Even if your parents do not come, do not blame yourself. Your engagement is valid. And you should continue to try to win them over.
I hope this answers your questions. We are praying for you to have a happy and blessed life as a Muslim.
Salam.
http://muslimmarriages.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/a-muslim-engagement-ceremony/

The Question of Compatibility or Kufu

1. The Shar i ‘ah has taken great precautions in ensuring that nikah with an incompatible person or a person of a lower social standing does not take place. In other words, do not perform the nikah of a girl with a man who is not equal to her in status or who is of no match to her.

2. Compatibility or equality is considered in several factors: (1) lineage/family, (2) Islam, (3) piety, (4) wealth, (5) Education,profession or occupation.

In our marriages , we follow normally two things 1) Local Culture , 2) Religion.
We share culture with one and all irrespective of religion.
The wedding customs for the Muslims will also include an engagement ceremony, called the Mangni. In this ceremony, the groom's family provides a dress for the bride, and the Muslim couple exchange rings. The customs of the Muslim culture stresses upon various restrictions when it comes to marriage. Though the Muslim families and supposed to invite all the people they know for the wedding, they must not take extra effort to spend money and bring people from faraway places. They have to spend within their limits, and they should not borrow money to conduct a wedding.
Muslim marriages can be conducted in different ways, depending on the culture in which they are arranged. The following information refers, in the most part, to the Asian world. Here, Muslim marriages are generally arranged by the parents, with the bride and groom themselves having the final say about who they will wed. But now a days, girls have started picking up boy friends as soon as they enter college life and marry him later. This free mixing of a boy and girl is not allowed in islam. But who cares.
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Strictly speaking, Muslim women cannot marry outside their faith. But again who cares. Muslim men can, in principle, marry non-Muslims, as long as they are Christian or Jewish and their children are raised as Muslims. Alternatively, it is possible for a woman to convert to the Muslim faith by performing the Shadada, a simple ceremony in which the convert accepts Allah and Mohammed.
Arrange the Mahar, the gift from husband to wife, which is an important part of the Nikah (wedding ceremony).
After accepting her offer of marriage, the groom must give the bride a Mahar (gift). Usually in the form of money or gold, it is intended as a dowry for her to use as she wishes. This Mahar should not be a very large amount. And the boy must pay it at the earliest. So the Mahar should be such that the boy can easily pay it. But in our culture we see that the parents of the girl feels relaxed if the Mahar is high. There is another custom that the wife frees the husband of the mahar . All these customs negates the basic philosophy of Islam.

The engagement period lasts three months, and if the couple aren't married by the end of this period, the engagement contract needs to be renewed. During this time, the bride can only be in the same room as her intended if her father or brother is present and she is covered

. They must also not meet after their engagement. But what we see in recent times that after engagement the boy and girl gets the certificate of moving around together. 

Nikah - Marriage

1. Nikah is a great bounty from Allah Ta'ala. The affairs of this world and the hereafter are put in order through marriage. There is a lot of wisdom and many benefits in marriage. A person saves himself from sinning and his heart is put at ease. He does not have any evil intentions and his thoughts do not begin to wander and stray. The greatest virtue is that there are only benefits and only rewards in this. This is because a husband and wife’s sitting together and engaging in a loving conversation, joking with each other, etc. is better than nafl salat.

2. A marriage can be executed by just two words, e.g. a person says the following words in the presence of witnesses: "I give my daughter to you in marriage." The person who is addressed replies: "I accept her in marriage." In so doing, the marriage is valid and both of them are lawful husband and wife. However, if the person has several daughters, the nikah will not be executed by his uttering the words mentioned above. He will have to mention the daughter by name, e.g. he says : "I give my daughter, Qudsiyyah, to you in marriage", and the person replies : "I accept her in marriage."

3. A person says: "Give so-and-so daughter of yours to me in marriage." The father replies: "I give her to you in marriage." In so saying, the nikah will be valid irrespective of whether he says that he accepts or not. (In other words, it is not necessary for the word "accept" to be mentioned).

4. If the daughter is present and the father says: "I give this daughter of mine in marriage to you", and the person replies: "I accept her", the nikah will be valid. It will not be necessary to mention her name.

If the girl is not present, it is necessary to mention her name and the name of her father in such a loud tone that all the witnesses are able to hear. If the people do not know the father and there is a strong possibility that by mentioning his name they will still not know whose nikah is being performed, then it will be necessary to mention the name of the grand-father as well. In other words, such identification is necessary whereby those present immediately know whose nikah is being performed.

5. In order for a nikah to be valid, it is also essential for at least two males or one male and two females to be present, to hear the nikah being performed, and to hear the two words (i.e. the offer and the acceptance) being uttered. Only then will the nikah be valid. If two persons sit together in privacy and one says to the other : "I give my daughter to you in marriage" and the other person replies : "I accept your daughter", the nikah will not be valid. Similarly, if the nikah was performed in the presence of one person only, even then the nikah will not be valid.

6. If there are no males present, but only females, the nikah will not be valid even if there are ten females present. Together with two females, one male has to be present.

7. If there are two males but they are not Muslims, the nikah will not be valid. Similarly, if both are Muslims but both or one of them is immature, the nikah will not be valid. Similarly, if there is one male and two females but both or one of the females is immature, the nikah will not be valid.

8. It is preferable to perform the nikah in a large gathering such as after the jumu'ah salat in a jumu'ah musjid or in any other large gathering. This is so that the nikah will be well announced and the people will become aware of the nikah. A nikah should not be performed in secret and privacy. However, if due to some reason many persons are unable to attend, then at least two males or one male and two females who hear the nikah being performed in their very presence should be present.

9. If both the man and woman are mature, they can perform their own nikah. All that they have to do is say the following in the presence of two witnesses: One of them must say: "I am making my nikah with you" and the other must say : "I accept." In so doing, the nikah will be valid.

10. If a person does not make his nikah himself, but asks someone to perform his nikah with someone, or, he mentions the name of the person with whom he wishes his nikah to be performed and this person performs this nikah in the presence of two witnesses - the nikah will be valid. Even if this person rejects or denies this later, the nikah will still be intact.

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Persons with whom Nikah is Haram

1. Marriage with one's children, grand-children, great grand-children, etc. is not permissible. Nor is marriage with one's parents, grand-parents, maternal grand-parents, etc. permissible.

2. Marriage with one's brothers, uncles and nephews is not permissible. According to the Shari‘ah, a brother is one whose mother and father is the same, or they have one father but two mothers, or one mother but two fathers. They are all brothers. But if the father is different, and the mother is also different; that person will not be a brother. Nikah with him will be valid.

3. Marriage with one's son-in-law is not permissible. This is irrespective of whether the daughter is already living with him or not. In all cases, nikah with him is haram.

4. A girl's father passed away. Her mother married another person. However, before the mother could even live with her new husband, she passed away or he divorced her. In such a case, the girl can marry this step-father of hers. However, if the mother lived with him, it will not be permissible for this girl to marry him.

5. Nikah with one's step-children is not valid. In other words, if a man has several wives, then one of the wives cannot marry the children of the co-wives. This is irrespective of whether she had lived with her husband or not. Nikah with these children is prohibited under all circumstances.

6. It is not permissible for a woman to marry her father-in-law or even the father or grand-father of her father-in-law.

7. As long as a sister is married to her husband, it is not permissible for another sister to marry this brother-in-law of hers. However, if her sister passes away or he divorces her and she completes her iddah, it will be permissible for the other sister to marry her brother-in-law. In the case where the brother-in-law divorces the first sister, it is not permissible for the second sister to marry her brother-in-law until her sister completes her iddah.

8. If two sisters marry one person, the marriage of the sister whose nikah was performed first will be valid while the marriage of the sister whose nikah was performed later will not be valid.

9. A man married a woman. As long as he remains married to her, he cannot marry her maternal and paternal aunts and nieces.

10. If the relationship between two women is such that if we had to regard one of them as a man, their nikah will not be valid, then such two women cannot marry a person at the same time. When one of them passes away or one of them is divorced and completes her iddah, only then will it be permissible for the person to marry the other woman.

11. If a woman and her step-daughter marry a person at the same time, the nikah will be valid.

12. Adoption is not considered in the Shar i ‘ah. By adopting a boy, he does not become one's son. It is therefore permissible to marry one's adopted son.

13. If a man is not one's real uncle but he becomes an uncle through some other distant relationship, marrying him is permissible. Similarly, if a man happens to be one's paternal uncle or nephew through some distant relationship, nikah with him is permissible. Nikah with one's cousins is also valid irrespective of whether they are paternal or maternal cousins.

14. Two women who are not blood sisters but are maternal or paternal cousins are permitted to marry one man at the same time. In the presence of such a cousin, another cousin can also marry the same man. The same rule applies to a very distant maternal or paternal aunt. That is, the niece and this distant maternal or paternal aunt can marry the same man at one time.

15. All the relations, which become haram on account of lineage also become haram on account of breast-feeding. In other words, if a girl is breast-fed by a particular woman, then this girl cannot marry the latter's husband because he will now be regarded as her father. A girl who has been breast-fed by a particular woman cannot marry a boy who has been breast-fed by the same woman. Nor can this girl marry the children of this woman because she is also regarded as a child of this woman. All the maternal and paternal uncles and maternal and paternal nephews who become related due to this breast-feeding also become haram on this girl.

16. If two girls have been breast-fed by one woman, they cannot marry the same man at one time. In other words, whatever has been explained previously, will also apply to relations based on breast-feeding.

17. A man committed adultery with a certain woman. Now it will not be permissible for her mother or her children to marry this man.

18. Due to the passions of youth, a woman touched a man with evil intentions. It will now not be permissible for her mother or her children to marry this man. Similarly, if a man touches a woman with evil intentions, her mother and her children will be haram on him.

19. In the middle of the night, a man decided to awaken his wife. However, he mistakenly touched his daughter or his mother-in-law. Thinking them to be his wife, he touched them with the passions of youth. Now, this man will become haram on his wife forever. There is no way in which she can become permissible for him. It will be necessary for him to divorce his wife.

20. If a boy touches his step-mother with an evil intention, she will become haram on her husband. There is no way in which she can be halal for him. If the step-mother touches her step-son with an evil intention, the same rule will apply.

21. A Muslim woman cannot marry a man who belongs to any other religion. She can only marry a Muslim man.

22. A woman's husband divorced her or he passed away. As long as she does not complete her iddah, she cannot marry anyone else.

23. Once a woman marries a man, she cannot marry another person unless and until she is divorced by this person and also completes her iddah.

24. If a woman is not married and she falls pregnant due to adultery, it will be permissible to marry her. However, it will not be permissible to have intercourse with her until she delivers the child. But if the woman marries the same person who had committed adultery with her, it will be permissible for the person to have intercourse with her.

25. If a person has four wives, he cannot marry a fifth woman. If he happens to divorce one of his four wives, another woman cannot marry him until the one who is divorced completes her iddah.

26. The marriage of a Sunni girl with a Shi'ah man is not permissible according to the majority of the ulama.

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The Wali or Legal Guardian

The person who has the power or choice of getting a boy or girl married is called a wali.

1. The first wali of a boy or girl is their father. If the father is not present, the grand-father becomes their wali. If he is not present, then the great grand-father. If none of them are present, the blood-brother becomes their wali. If he is not present, then the step-brother, i.e. brothers from one father. Thereafter, the nephew, thereafter the nephew's son; and thereafter, the nephew's grand-son. If none of them are present, the blood uncle becomes their wali. If he is not present, then the step-uncle, i.e. the step-brother of their father. Thereafter, the son of the blood uncle and thereafter his grand-son. Thereafter, the son of the step-uncle and thereafter his grand-son. If none of them are present, the father's uncle becomes their wali; and thereafter his children. If the father's uncle, his children and grand-children are not present; then the grand-father's uncle becomes their wali. Thereafter, his children, grand-children, and great grand-children.

If none of them are present, the mother will be their wali. Thereafter, the paternal grand-mother, then the maternal grand-mother and then the maternal grand-father. Thereafter, the blood-sister and then the step-sister, i.e. sisters from one father. Thereafter, the step-brother and then the step-sister who is from one mother. Thereafter, the paternal aunt, then the maternal uncle, and then the maternal aunt.

2. An immature person cannot become a wali of anyone. A kafir cannot be a wali for any Muslim, nor can a lunatic be a wali for anyone.

3. A mature girl has the choice to marry or not to marry. She can marry whomsoever she wishes - no one can force her to marry a particular person. If she marries a person on her own, the nikah will be valid irrespective of whether the wali is informed or not, and irrespective of whether the wali gives his consent or not. In all cases the nikah will be valid. However, if she does not marry a person who is of the same social standing as her, and instead, marries a person who is of a lower standing than her family, and her wali is not happy about this marriage, then the fatwa in this case is that the nikah will not be valid.

If she marries a person who is in the same social standing as her, but the mahr that she receives is less then what is normally fixed in her paternal grandfather’s family, then although thenikah will be valid, the wali will have the right to annul this marriage. The mahr that is normally fixed in her paternal grandfather’s family is known as mahrul mithl. The wali can go to a Muslim court and have such a marriage annulled. However, it should be borne in mind that this right of annulment is only possessed by all those walis whom we had mentioned before the mother. In other words, from the father onwards till the children of the grand-father's uncle.

4. A wali performed the nikah of a mature girl without asking her or without seeking her consent. The validity of such a nikah will be dependent on her permission and consent. If she grants her permission, the nikah will be valid. If she does not grant her permission or is not happy, the nikah will not be valid. The method of granting permission is mentioned in the nextmas'ala.

5. The wali came and informed a young virgin girl that he intends performing her nikah with a certain person, or that he has already performed her nikah with a certain person. Upon hearing this, she remained silent, began smiling or began to cry. All these responses of her's will be considered to be a permission and a consent. Now, if the wali performs her nikah, it will be valid. If he has already performed it, it will also be valid. It is not a prerequisite for her to give a verbal permission. Those who force a girl in giving a verbal permission are in error.

6. At the time of seeking her permission, the wali did not mention the name of her future husband, nor did she have any prior knowledge of him. In such a case, her silence will not be considered to be a form of consent, nor will it be considered to be a form of granting permission. It is necessary to mention the boy's name or some other form of identification whereby the girl can understand that the wali is referring to a particular person. Similarly, if the wali performed the nikah without mentioning the amount of mahr to her and it was far less than themahrul mithl, the nikah will not be valid without her permission. He will have to seek her permission again.

7. The girl is not a virgin, and instead had married previously and this is her second marriage. When the wali asks her or seeks her permission for this second marriage, her mere silence will not be considered to be a form of granting permission. Instead, she will have to give a verbal reply. If she does not give a verbal reply and remains silent, and despite this, the waliperforms her nikah, then her nikah will be in abeyance. Later, if she gives a verbal permission, the nikah will be valid. If not, it will not be valid.

8. Despite the father being present, the uncle, brother or any other wali sought the permission of a virgin girl. If she remains silent, it will not be considered to be a form of granting permission. Only when she gives a verbal permission will it be considered. However, if the father sent these persons to seek her permission, her silence will be considered to be a form of consent. In short, the wali who is given the first preference in the Shari‘ah and who has the most right to seek permission from the girl - when he asks her or when someone who has been sent by him asks her, then only will her silence be considered to be a form of consent. If the grand-father had the right of asking her, and instead the brother asked her; or if the brother had the right of asking her and instead she was asked by her uncle, then in such a case her silence will not be considered to be a consent.

9. A wali performed the nikah of a girl without asking her and without obtaining her consent. After the nikah, the wali or his messenger came and informed the girl that her nikah with a particular person has been performed. In such a case, if she remains silent, this will be a permission on her part and the nikah will be valid. But if someone else comes and informs her, and this person is a pious, reliable person, or two persons come and inform her, then by her remaining silent the nikah will be valid. But if there is only one person who informs her and he is an unreliable person, then by her remaining silent the nikah will not be valid. Instead, it will be held in abeyance. When she gives a verbal reply or any other form of granting permission is found, then only will the nikah be valid.

10. Upon being informed of her nikah, the girl did not give a verbal reply although it was necessary for her to give a verbal reply. However, when her husband approached her she did not refuse him from engaging in sexual intercourse with her. Even in this case, the nikah will be valid.

11. The same rules apply to a mature boy, i.e. he cannot be forced into a marriage nor can the wali perform his nikah without his permission. If his nikah is performed without his permission, it's validity will be dependent on his permission. If he expresses his consent, his nikah will be valid. If not, it will not be valid. However, it should be borne in mind that the boy's silence is not considered to be a form of granting permission. He will have to give a verbal reply.

12. If a boy or a girl is immature, they do not have their own choice. Their nikah is not valid without a wali. If a boy (or girl) performs his nikah on his own or someone else performs it, it will be dependent on the permission of the wali. If the wali grants permission, the nikah will be valid. If not, it will not be valid. The wali has full rights over such a boy or girl. He can get them married to whoever he wishes and refuse whoever he wishes. Immature girls and immature boys cannot reject such a nikah at that time. This is irrespective of whether the girl is a virgin or had been married previously and had also been sent to her (first) husband's home - the same rule will apply.

13. If the father or grand-father perform the nikah of an immature girl or boy, they do not have the right to reject or repudiate this nikah even after they become mature. This is irrespective of whether the marriage was executed with a person who is of the same social standing or with a person of a lower class, and irrespective of whether the nikah was performed with mahrul mithl or whether it was far less than the mahrul mithl. In all cases the nikah will be valid and they cannot reject or repudiate this nikah.

14. If a wali other than the father or grand-father performed the nikah, and it was performed with a boy of the same social standing and the mahrul mithl was also given, then in such a case the nikah will be valid. However, after reaching the age of maturity, she has the right to endorse this nikah or to go and complain to a Muslim judge and have this marriage annulled.

But if the wali performed her marriage with a person of a lower social standing or accepted a mahr which was far less than the mahrul mithl, the nikah will not be valid from the very outset. Similarly, if the wali performed the nikah of a boy with a mahr which was far more than the mahrul mithl of the girl, the nikah will not be valid from the very outset.

15. A wali other than the father or grand-father had performed the nikah of an immature girl who also had knowledge of this nikah. Thereafter, she became mature and until then her husband hadn't had any sexual intercourse with her. In such a case, the moment she becomes mature, she must mention her discontent with regard to marrying this person. She must clearly state that she is not happy. Alternatively, she could say that she does not wish to continue with this marriage. This could be said in the presence of others or in privacy where she is all alone. But she has to mention it verbally. However, by her merely saying this, the nikah will not be annulled. She will have to go to a Muslim judge, he will annul the marriage, and only then will it be annulled.

Once she becomes mature and allows even a moment to pass in which she does not mention her discontent, she will not have the choice of having her nikah annulled.

But if the girl did not have any knowledge of this nikah and only learnt of it after becoming mature, then the moment she is informed, she will immediately have the right to reject thenikah. If she remains silent for even a moment, she will forfeit this right to reject the nikah.

16. If her husband engaged in sexual intercourse with her, and thereafter she becomes mature, it is not necessary for her to reject the nikah immediately after becoming mature or after being informed. Instead, as long as she does not express her consent and happiness, she will have the choice of rejecting or accepting irrespective of how much time lapses. However, if she clearly states that she is happy about this marriage, or her consent is made apparent in some other way such as being in solitude with her husband like any other normal husband and wife, then she will have no choice and this nikah will become entrenched.

17. The person who is most entitled of being the wali of an immature girl is gone to a foreign country. He is so far away that if the rest of the family had to await his arrival in order to consult him, the girl will lose this opportunity. Furthermore, the person who has come with the proposal is not prepared to wait for so long and it will be difficult for the girl to receive a similar proposal. In such a case, the person who is next in line to become her wali can also perform her nikah. If he performs the nikah without consulting the girl, it will be valid. But if the first wali is not very far away, her nikah should not be performed without consulting him. If it is performed, it will be dependent on his permission. Once he grants his permission, the nikahwill be valid.

18. Similarly, if the second wali performs the nikah of an immature girl despite the most rightful wali being present, it will be dependent on his permission. For example, if the grand-father performs the nikah without consulting the father despite the latter being present, it will be dependent on the father's permission. If the right belonged to the brother but the nikah was performed by the uncle, it will be dependent on the brother's permission.

19. A woman became a lunatic and lost her sanity. She has a mature son and a father as well. If her nikah has to be performed, her wali will be her son because the son is more entitled of being a wali than the father (father of the woman).

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The Question of Compatibility or Kufu

1. The Shar i ‘ah has taken great precautions in ensuring that nikah with an incompatible person or a person of a lower social standing does not take place. In other words, do not perform the nikah of a girl with a man who is not equal to her in status or who is of no match to her.

2. Compatibility or equality is considered in several factors: (1) lineage, (2) Islam, (3) piety, (4) wealth, (5) profession or occupation.

Equality in Lineage

1. Equality in lineage is that the Shaykh, Sayyid, Ansari, and ‘Alawi are all equal to each other. In other words, although the status of a Sayyid is more than the others, if the daughter of a Sayyid marries a Shaykh boy; it will not be said that she did not marry someone who is of her family relations. Instead, it will also be regarded as if she has married one of her relatives.

2. In matters of lineage, the lineage of the father is considered and not the mother. If the father is a Sayyid, the son is also a Sayyid; and if the father is a Shaykh, the son is also aShaykh - irrespective of what the mother may be. If a Sayyid marries a woman who is not a Sayyid, their son will be regarded as a Sayyid. This son will be equal in status to all otherSayyids. Although the son whose father and mother are both from a noble family is respected more, according to the Shariah they will all be regarded as relatives or of the same social standing.

3. The Moghuls and Pathans are regarded as one nation and are not of the same class as that of the Sayyids and Shaykhs. If the daughter of a Sayyid or Shaykh gets married with one of them, it will be said that she married someone who is of a lower social standing than her.

Equality in being a Muslim

1. Equality in being a Muslim is only considered among the Moghuls, Pathans, and other non-Arab nations. There is no consideration of this among the Shaykhs, Sayyids, ‘Alawis, andAnsaris. A man who accepts Islam and his father was a kafir cannot be on par or equal to a woman who is a Muslim and her father was also a Muslim. The man who is a Muslim, his father is also a Muslim, but his grandfather was a kafir; cannot be equal to a woman whose grandfather was also a Muslim.

2. A man whose father and grandfather were Muslims, but his great grandfather was a kafir will be regarded as equal to a woman whose several forefathers were Muslims. In short, this equality is only considered till the grandfather. Equality beyond the grandfather, such as the great grandfather and beyond him is not considered.

Equality in Piety

Equality in piety means that a man who does not follow the dictates of the Shar i ‘ah - who is a wicked person, a scoundrel, an alcoholic, a shameless person - will not be considered to be equal to a pious, chaste and religious woman.

Equality in Wealth

Equality in wealth means that a person who is an absolute pauper cannot be compatible to a rich woman. If the man is not an absolute pauper, but is capable of giving that amount ofmahr that is normally given on the first night and is also capable of giving her maintenance, then he will be regarded to be equal to her in status even if he is unable to give the entire amount of mahr. It is not necessary for the man to be in exactly the same financial position as that of the woman. Nor is it necessary for him to be close to that financial position.

Equality in Occupation

1. Equality in occupation is that, e.g. weavers are not regarded as equal to tailors and are accorded a status that is lower than that of tailors. Similarly, barbers, washermen, etc. are not regarded as being equal to tailors, but are regarded as being lower than tailors.

2. A mad, lunatic person cannot be equal to an intelligent, understanding woman.

^TOP^

Mahr - Dowry

1. Once a nikah is performed, it will be valid irrespective of whether mention of any mahr was made or not. Despite it being valid, one will have to give the mahr. In fact, if a person makes the condition that he will not give any mahr and that he is marrying the woman without any mahr, he will still have to give the mahr.

2. The minimum mahr is 10 dirhams and there is no limit to the maximum amount of mahr. The woman can stipulate as much as she wishes. However, it is not good to stipulate a very high figure. If a person gives an amount less than 10 dirhams or its equivalent, he will have to give the balance as well because mahr cannot be an amount less than the minimum. If the husband divorces his wife (in this case) even before she can come and live with him, he will have to give half of the minimum.

3. A person stipulated R20, R100, R1000, or any other amount according to his financial position. The woman thereafter came and lived with him. He also had sexual intercourse with this wife of his. Alternately, he did not have intercourse with her, but he and his wife were able to meet in privacy where no one or nothing stopped them or prevented them from engaging in sexual intercourse. In both these cases, it will be wajib on the person to fulfil the full amount of the stipulated mahr. If none of the above transpired between them, and one of them passed away, it will still be wajib to fulfil the entire mahr. Furthermore, if none of the above transpired between them, and the man divorced her, it will be wajib on him to fulfil half the stipulated mahr.

In short, if the husband and wife meet in privacy, as mentioned above or one of them passes away, the entire mahr becomes wajib. And if the husband divorces her prior to them being in privacy and seclusion, it will be wajib to fulfil half the stipulated mahr.

4. If one of them was ill, keeping a fast of Ramadan, in the ihram of hajj, the woman was in her hayd or there was someone who was peeping at them or intruding on their privacy, and they met in private or seclusion in any of the above situations, then this privacy or seclusion of their's is not considered. If they meet each other in any of the above situations or circumstances, the total amount of mahr will not become wajib. If the husband divorces her, it will be her right to receive half the total mahr. However, if the fast was not a fast ofRamadan, instead it was a qada, nadhr, or nafl fast, and this was being kept by one of them, then in such a case if they happened to meet in privacy and seclusion, the wife will have the right of receiving the full amount of the mahr. It will be wajib on the husband to fulfil the full amount.

5. The husband is impotent, however, both of them met in privacy and seclusion. The wife will still receive the full mahr. Similarly, if the husband is a hermaphrodite and they meet in privacy and seclusion and thereafter he divorces her, she will receive the full mahr.

6. The husband and wife met in privacy and seclusion but the wife is so young that she is incapable of sexual intercourse. Alternately, the husband is so young that he is incapable of sexual intercourse. If they meet in privacy and seclusion in such a case, the full mahr will not be wajib.

7. If no mention whatsoever of the mahr was made at the time of the nikah, or the nikah was performed on the condition that the woman will not receive any mahr, and thereafter one of them passed away or they met in privacy - that is regarded as a valid privacy in the Shar i ‘ah - even then the mahr will have to be fulfilled. However, in such a case, the mahrul mithlwill have to be paid.

In the above case, if the husband divorced his wife prior to being in seclusion with her, she will have no right to receive any mahr. Instead, she will only receive a set of clothing. It iswajib on the man to give this to the woman. He will be sinning if he does not do so.

8. When giving this set of clothing, only four items are wajib on the man: a dress, a scarf, a pant, and a sheet, which can cover her body from head to toe. Apart from these items, it is not wajib to give any other clothing.

9. The clothing that the man gives should be according to his financial position. If the man is poor, he should give cotton clothing. If he is of a middle class, he should give silk that is of an inferior quality. If he is very rich, he should give silk clothing that is of a very high quality. However, it should be borne in mind that in all these circumstances the clothing that is given should not be more than half the mahrul mithl in value. At the same time, it should not be less than five dirhams in value.

In other words, it is not wajib on the man to give clothing which is very expensive and which exceeds half the mahrul mithl in value. However, it is permissible for him to give clothing that is more than the stipulated amount provided that he gives it happily and out of his own will.

10. At the time of the nikah no mahr was stipulated. However, after the nikah, the husband and wife agreed upon a specific amount as mahr. In such a case, mahrul mithl will not have to be given. Instead, the amount that they had agreed upon will have to be given. But if the husband divorced his wife prior to their meeting in privacy and seclusion, she will not have any right of receiving any mahr. Instead, she will only receive the clothing that had been mentioned previously.

11. A person stipulated R100, R1000 or any other amount according to his financial position. Thereafter the husband decided to give more than the original amount that was stipulated. This he did voluntarily and out of his own good will. For example, the stipulated mahr was R100, but he decided to give R150. Whatever additional amount he decides to give will now become wajib upon him. If he does not give it, he will be sinning. But if he divorces her prior to meeting in privacy and seclusion, he will have to give half of the original amount that was stipulated. The additional amount that he had decided to give will not be calculated.

Similarly, if the wife happily and willingly reduces the amount of mahr, it will be considered to be reduced. If she absolves him from paying the entire amount, it will be absolved. Now she has no right to claim it.

12. If the husband pressurized her into reducing the mahr or instilled some fear into her so that she reduces the mahr, then by her reducing or forgiving her husband, it will not be considered to be forgiven. It will still be wajib upon him to fulfil the mahr.

13. No cash, gold or silver was stipulated for the mahr. Instead, a small village, a farm or some land was stipulated. This is permissible. The farm, land, etc. that was stipulated will have to be given.

14. A horse, elephant or any other animal was stipulated as mahr. However, a specific horse or a specific elephant was not stipulated. This is also permissible. In such a case an average horse which is not too cheap nor too expensive will have to be given. Alternatively, it's value in cash could be given. However, if an animal was stipulated without specifying the type of animal, this will not be valid. Mahrul mithl will have to be given.

15. A couple got married in an unlawful way and the husband and wife were therefore made to separate. For example, they got married in secret without the presence of two witnesses. Alternately, two witnesses were present but they were deaf and were therefore unable to hear the words that make a nikah valid. Alternatively, a man had divorced his wife or he had passed away. Prior to completing her iddah, the woman married another man. Or some other form of unlawful marriage had taken place and the husband and wife were therefore made to separate. However, in all these cases, the man did not have any sexual intercourse with this woman. In such a case, she will not receive any mahr. In fact, even if they met in privacy and seclusion, she will still not be eligible to receive any mahr. But if sexual intercourse had taken place, she will receive mahrul mithl. However, if at the time of nikah some mahr had been stipulated and this mahr is less than the mahrul mithl, then she will receive the mahr that had been stipulated at the time of the nikah and not the mahrul mithl.

16. A person had sexual intercourse with a woman after mistaking her for his wife. He will have to give her mahrul mithl as well, and this intercourse with her will not be regarded as adultery (zina) nor will there be any sin. In fact, if the woman falls pregnant, the lineage of the child will be in order. It will not be tainted and it is not permissible to label the child as being illegitimate. The moment the man realizes that this is not his wife, he should immediately separate himself from her and it will not be permissible for him to continue with the intercourse. It is also wajib on this woman to observe the iddah. It is not permissible for her to stay with her husband or to engage in sexual intercourse with him. The rules related toiddah will be mentioned in a later chapter - Insha’ Allah.

17. If in a certain place or country, the norm is that the entire mahr must be given on the first night, then the woman has the right to demand the mahr on the first night. If she does not ask for it on the first night, she can ask for it whenever she wishes and it will be wajib on the husband to give it to her. He cannot delay in fulfilling the mahr.

18. The practice in India is that the paying and receiving of mahr is undertaken after divorce or after death. When the woman is divorced, it is only then that she claims her mahr. Alternatively, when the husband dies and leaves behind some wealth, she takes her mahr from this left over wealth of his. If the woman dies, her inheritors claim the mahr. As long as the husband and wife are living together, no one pays the mahr nor does she ask for it. In such a situation, the woman cannot demand the mahr before divorce. However, it is wajib on the man to give an amount that is normally given in that place on the first night. But if all these practices are not found in any place, these rules will not apply.

19. If the husband does not give the amount of mahr that is normally given beforehand, the wife has the right to refuse him to engage in sexual intercourse with her until he pays that amount. If they engaged in intercourse once, she still has the right of refusing him the next time or the following time if he does not pay the mahr. If he wishes to take her to another city or country, she has the right of not going unless her mahr is paid. Similarly, if the mahr is not paid and the woman wishes to travel to another city or country, or wishes to go to her parents home, and there is a mahram who can take her, then the husband does not have the right to stop her. But once he pays the mahr, she does not have the right to do any of these things without her husband's permission. It is not permissible for her to go anywhere without his consent. As for the husband, he can take her wherever he wishes. It is not permissible for her to refuse him.

20. The husband gave some item (or cash, gold, silver, etc.) to his wife with the intention that it is mahr. Whatever he gives will be regarded as part of the mahr. It is not necessary for him to inform his wife at the time of giving it to her that he is giving her mahr.

21. The man gave an item to his wife. She claims that the item was given as a gift and not as mahr while the man claims that he gave it as mahr. In this case, the husband's claim will be considered. However, if the item was such that it is consumed as food or drink, it will not be considered to be mahr and the husband's claim will not be considered.

Source of article :: http://www.darululoom-deoband.com/english/books/nikah.htm

The Wedding of Imām °Alī (as) and Haďrat Fāťima (sa)

The °Aqd (Marriage Contract)

The Prophet (S) desired to have the °Aqd recited in the mosque and in the presence of the people. Imām °Alī (as) joyfully went to the mosque and the Prophet (S) also entered the mosque. The Muhājirīn and Anŝār gathered around them. The Prophet (S) went on the minbar and after praising and thanking Allāh (SwT), said: “Oh people! Know that Jibrā`il descended on me and brought a message from Allāh (SwT) that the ceremony of the °Aqd of °Alī (as) has taken place in the presence of the Angels in ‘Bait al-Ma`mur.’ Allāh (SwT) has commanded that I perform this ceremony on earth and make you all witnesses.” At the point, the Prophet (S) recited the °Aqd.

Then the Prophet (S) said to Imām °Alī (as): “Get up and give a speech.” Imām °Alī (as) got to his feet and after remembering and thanking Allāh (SwT) began his speech and expressed his satisfaction and contentment at his marriage to Haďrat Fāťima (sa).

The people prayed for him and said: “May Allāh (SwT) bless this marriage, and place love and friendship in your hearts.”12

The Wedding

The wedding ceremony took place on the 1st of Dhul Hijjah, 2 AH13 (or 6th of Dhul Hijjah, 2 AH)14, one month after the °Aqd.

Between the °Aqd and the wedding ceremony, Imām °Alī (as) was shy to speak about his wife to the Prophet (S). One day, his brother °Aqīl asked him: “Why don’t you bring your wife to the house so that we can congratulate you for the occasion of your wedding?” This topic reached the Prophet (S), who called Imām °Alī (as) and asked him: “Are you ready to get married?”

Imām °Alī (as) gave a positive response. The Prophet (S) said: “Insha-Allāh, tonight or tomorrow night, I will make arrangements for the wedding.” At that time, he told his wives to dress Haďrat Fāťima (sa) and to perfume her and to carpet her room so as to prepare for the wedding ceremony.15

The Prophet (S) told Imām °Alī (as): “There cannot be a wedding without guests.” One of the leaders of the Anŝār named Sa°ad said: “I gift you a sheep,” and a group of the Anŝār also brought some16 corn17, and some dried whey, oil and dates were also bought from the bazār.

The meat was cooked and the Prophet (S) with his purity took the responsibility of cooking for the wedding, and with his blessed hands, mixed them (the ingredients) and began preparing a type of °Arabic dish called Habīs or Hais.18

However, although the food was prepared, the invitation was public. A large number took part and with the blessings of the Prophet’s (S) hands, everyone ate and became full from the food, and there was even some left over for the poor and needy; a dish was also placed for the bride and groom.19

The Prophet (S) told his wives to prepare a celebration for Haďrat Fāťima (sa) After food, the ladies gathered around Haďrat Fāťima (sa) and the Prophet (S) helped her get on his horse. Salmān al-Fārsī took hold of the horse’s reins and with the special ceremony, brave men such as Hamza and a number of the family and maĥārim of Haďrat Fāťima (sa) gathered around the horse with drawn swords. Many women waited behing the bride and recited Takbir.

The horse began moving, and the ladies began reciting Takbir and praises of Allāh (SwT). At that time, one by one, they read beautiful hymns that had been composed, and with splendour and joy, took the bride to the house of the groom. The Prophet (S) also reached the group and entered the bridal chamber.

He requested a dish of water, and when that was brought, he sprinked some on Haďrat Fāťima’s (sa) chest and told her to do Wuďū and wash her mouth with the rest of the water. He sprinkled some water on Imām °Alī (as) as well and told him to do Wuďū and wash his mouth.

The Prophet (S) then took Haďrat Fāťima’s (sa) hand and placed it in the hand of Imām (as) and said: “Oh °Alī! May you be blessed; Allāh (SwT) bestowed on you the daughter of the Prophet (S) of Allāh (SwT), who is the best of women (of the world).” He then addressed Haďrat Fāťima (sa) and said: “Oh Fāťima, °Alī is from the best of husbands.”20

He then recited a Du°ā for them: “Oh Allāh, make them familiar (close) to each other! Oh Allāh, bless them! And place for them blessings in their life.”

As he was about to leave, he said: “Allāh has made you and your offspring pure (ritually clean). I am a friend of your friends, and an enemy of your enemies. I now bid you farewell and deposit you with Allāh.”21

The next morning, the Prophet (S) went to see his daughter. After that visit, he did not go to their house for three days, but went on the fourth day.22

Haďrat Khadīja’s (sa) Wish

On the wedding night of Haďrat Fāťima (sa), Asma bint Omaīs (or Umme Salama) who was among the women, asked permission from the Prophet (S) if she could stay near Fāťima so as to carry out any needs she may have.

She said to the Prophet (S): “When the time of the death of Khadīja came in Makkah, I was next to her and saw that Khadīja was crying. I said to her: “You are the ‘mistress of the women of the worlds’ and the wife of the Prophet (S) and despite this you are crying whereas Allāh (SwT) has given you the good tidings of heaven?” Khadīja (sa) replied: “I am not crying because of death; rather I am crying for Fāťima who is a small girl and women on their wedding night need a woman from their relatives and close ones (maĥram) who will tell them their hidden secrets, and I am afraid that that night, my dear Fāťima will not have anyone.”

Then I told Khadīja (sa) that, “I swear to my God that if I stay alive until that day, on that night I will stay in that house in your place.” Now I would like permission from you that you excuse me so that I can keep my promise.” Upon hearing this, the Prophet (S) started crying and gave me permission to stay and prayed for me.23

At this point it is necessary to take a look at what state the ‘mistress of the women of the worlds’, Haďrat Fāťima (sa) had on the night of her wedding, and how she started her life with her husband, Imām °Alī (as) the wedding night, Imām °Alī (as) Haďrat Fāťima (sa) upset and in tears, and asked her why she was in this state.

She replied: “I thought about my state and actions and remembered the end of life and my grave; that today I have gone from my father’s house to your house, and another day I will go from here to the grave and the Day of Judgement (Qiyāmat). Therefore, I swear by you to Allāh (SwT); come let us stand for Ŝalāt so that we can worship Allāh (SwT) together in this night.”3

The following A°māl are recommended for this night4:
1. Try to be in Wuďū for as much of the night as possible, and especially during the amaals below.
2. Begin by praising Allāh (SwT), then say Allāhu Akbar (أللهُ أكَبر), followed by a Ŝalawāt (أللهم صلى على محمّد و آل محمّد).

3. Recite a two Rak°at Ŝalāt, with the intention of ‘Mustaĥab Qurbatan IlAllāh (SwT)’ [a recommended prayer, seeking the pleasure of Allāh (SwT)], followed by a Ŝalawāt.

4. Recite the following Du°ā, followed by a Ŝalawāt. First the groom should recite it, after which the bride should say: Ilāhī Amīn [May Allāh (SwT) accept this].

أَللٌّهُمَّ ارْزُقْنِي إِلْفَهَا وَ وُدَّهَا وَ رِضَاهَا وَ رَضِّـنِي بِهَا ثُمَّ اجْمَعْ بَيْنَـنَا بِأَحْسَنِ اجْتِمَاعٍ وَ أَسَرِّ ائْتِلاَفٍ فَإِنَّكَ تُحِبُّ

الْحَلاَلَ وَ تَكْرَهُ الْحَرَام.

“O Allāh (SwT)! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.”5

5. Even if a couple are not intending to conceive on the wedding night, it is recommended that the following Du°ās are recited for righteous children (whenever they are conceived):
a. The groom should then place his right palm on the bride’s forehead facing Qibla and recite:

أَللٌّهُمَّ بِأَمَانَتِكَ أَخَذْتُهَا وَ بِكَلِمَاتِكَ اسْتَحْلَلْـتُهَا فَإِنْ قَضَيْتَ لِي مِنْهَا وَلَداً فَاجْعَلْهُ مُبَارَكاً تَقِيًّا مِنْ شِيعَةِ آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَ لاَ تَجْعَلْ لِلشَّيْطَانِ فِيهِ شِرْكاً وَ لاَ نَصِيباً.

“O Allāh! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. Therefore, if you have decreed for me a child from hver, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followers of the family of Muĥammad; and do not let the Satan have any part in him/her.”6

b. The following Du°ā should also be recited:

أَللٌّهُمَّ بِكَلِمَاتِكَ اسْتَحْلَلْتُهَا وَ بِأَمَانَتِكَ أَخَذْتُهَا. أَللٌّهُمَّ اجْعَلْهَا وَلُوداً وَدُوداً لاَ تَفْرَكُ تَأْكُلُ مِمَّا رَاحَ وَ لاَ تَسْأَلُ عَمَّا سَرَحَ.

“O Allāh! I have made her lawful for myself with Your words, and I have taken her in Your trust. O Allāh! Make her fertile and devoted.”7

6. The groom should wash the bride’s feet and sprinkle that water in all the four corners of the room and house. Allāh (SwT) will remove 70,000 types of poverty, 70,000 types of blessings will enter the house and 70,000 blessings will come upon the bride and groom. The bride will be safe from insanity, ulcers and leprosy.8

Although it is true this marriage is a divine marriage, however Lady Fatimah's (sa) character and in general women rights in Islam for choosing their own husbands provided that Prophet Muhammad (saw) not proceed to this act without having his daughter's word in this matter. Imam Ali (A.S) went to the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) and asked for Hazrat Fatima's hand in marriage. Umm Salma, one of the wives of the Prophet (S.A.W.W), was present and she reports:

"The Prophet (S.A.W.W) smiled, kept Imam Ali waiting, and went to his daughter and said, "you know how near Ali is to us and how dear he is to Islam.

I have asked Allah to give you in marriage to the best of his creatures and the most beloved to Him. Ali has his wishes to marry you, what do you say?'

Hazrat Fatima (S.A) did not reply but from her face the Prophet knew that she was happy about it.

The Prophet (S.A.W.W) said, "Allahu Akbar. Her silence means her approval." When Prophet Muhammad (saw) discussed Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib's (as) proposal to her, he clearly explained his characteristics. Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as), a man whose worldly goods and wealth were to the least, and who did not meet the criteria for marriage that the pre-Islamic era required of him, had however a character that was full of faith and religious virtues. This time, unlike the previous cases Lady Fatimah (sa) agreed. Once Prophet Muhammad (saw) saw Lady Fatimah's (as) agreement in marriage, he asked Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as) if he has anything to place as his wife's dowry.

Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as) replied, "May my parents be sacrificed for you, you are well aware that my belongings are nothing more than a sword, a shield, and a Camel."

Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw), who believed a small dowry to increase a woman's value as opposed to a large one, replied, "You are correct. You will need your sword for battles with the enemies. And with your Camel you must water the palm trees and travel with it on your trips. Thus you can only give your shield as her dowry."

Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) ordered to sell Imam Ali's (as) shield. He divided its money into three sections. He gave a part of it to Hazrat Bilal (ra) to purchase a decent perfume, and he spent the other two to purchase some household items and clothes for Lady Fatimah (sa). Obviously with the money from the shield the material that could be bought were very cheap and simple!

History has recorded the material that were purchased with the money consisted of these items: a large scarf for four Dirham, material for a dress for seven Dirham, a bed made of wood and leaves from a date palm, four pillows made from sheep skin and filled with leaves from an aromatic plant, a woolen curtain, a small mat, one hand mill, a leathern sac for water, one copper flat wash, a container for milking the Camel, and a pitcher made from clay.

Lady Fatimah's (sa) simple dowry and its usage for purchasing necessities of the home can be the biggest lesson for decreasing our expenses and remaining satisfied with what we are capable of purcProphet Mohammad(P.B.U.H)said "O Abul Hasan(AS), the order of Allah(swt) has been served and I invite you to come to the mosque so that this Aqd should be formalized on the earth as well among witnesses."Such was the importance of this marriage that Allah(swt) arranged the ceremony on Arsh and then Himself decided and recited the Nikah of Imam al-Muttaqeen, Amir-ul-momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib(AS) with the leader of the women of this world and in paradise Hazrat Fatima(SA).hasing.

THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY

The Prophet (S.A.W.W) performed the 'Nikah' ceremony in the mosque. This was on 1st Zilhaj and the marriage celebration also took place in the fourth heaven, at a place called 'Bait Al Mamur". 

Both Sunni and Shia scholars have reported this in their books. Suyuti the famous Sunni writer says that the Prophet (S.A.W.W), while in the Mosque, said to Imam Ali (A.S), "Here is Gibrael informing me that Allah gave Fatima to you in marriage, and made forty thousand Angels to witness this marriage He (Allah) made the tree of Tuba to shed gems, rubies and jewellery.

The Houris then rushed to collect them..."

The actual manage took place after about a month from the time it was announced.

Imam AH got a house of his own from Harith Bin Noaman. He then invited all people of Medina to the marriage lunch where cooked meat, bread and butter were served. Everybody ate as much as he or she wanted. There was still food left. This was then distributed to the people to take them home.

Hazrat Fatima's Dowry

The Prophet (S.A.W. W) limited this to 500 dirhams. After this event all marriages that took place in the house of the Prophet (S.A.W.W.) were limited to this amount.

The marriage of Hazrat Fatima (S.A) was carried out under the personal supervision of the Prophet (S.A.W.W) himself He made sure that his daughter got the most necessary things and at a very small cost. The things which she took to her husband's house are:

• one shirt (costing 7 dirhams)
• one veil (costing 4 dirhams)
• a black piece of velvet cloak made at Khaiber
• a bedspread with ribbons
• two mattresses of Egyptian canvas (one filled with palm fibres another with wool)
• four pillows made from hide and stuffed with sweet smelling plains - made from Taif
• a thin woollen screen
• a stone bowl for drinking water or you hurt
• a bowl for storing water
• a pitcher
• a porcelain mug
• pieces of skin
• a cotton cloth
• a waterskin

Seeing these things the Prophet (S.A.W. W) said, "Oh Allah bless them (the bride and the bridegroom). For they are of those people most of whose belongings are made of natural materials."

Although the marriage of Hazrat Fatima (S.A) was done on a simple level with less costs, no other marriage was as blessed as this one for the following reasons:

- Allah Himself decided as to who was to marry her. For according to the Sunni scholar, Tabrani, The Prophet (S. A. W. W) is reported to have said to his daughter Fatima, "Surely, Allah has examined people of the earth and chose your Father to be the Prophet (S.A.W.W). He, then examine them and chose your husband, then revealed to me that I give you to him in marriage and appoint him my successor."

- The marriage ceremony was held not only on this earth but also in the heavens by Allah's orders.

Allah gave Hazrat Fatima (S.A), as wedding gift, the authonty to speak for sinners on the day of judgement and save them from hell fire.

The occasion of Hazrat Fatima’s marriage can be summarized in a very good way in the words of the Prophet's well known companion, Jabbir B. Abdullah Ansar who is reported to have said, "We were present at Fatima's and Ali's (A.S.) wedding ceremony and indeed we have not seen any ceremony better than that one ..."

Some Points for the Bride and Groom

1. It is not necessary that consummation of the marriage take place on the wedding night; rather it may take a few days,  weeks or even a month till the girl is ready.

2. Fatigue, nervousness and tension may make it harder; therefore it is important that husband and wife take time to get comfortable with each other and move at their own pace.

3. Artificial lubrication may be needed for the first few days or weeks in order to make consummation easier and more enjoyable.10

4. Early or premature ejaculation may be a problem for the first few times; however, this should eventually be resolved after time and experience.

5. The hymen may or may not bleed. Foreplay, gentleness and intercourse again soon after can help reduce the pain of the tearing of the hymen.

6. After consummation (whenever it may be), the bride should not have milk, vinegar, coriander, sour apple or melon for a week, as they cause the womb to dry up and become cold and barren. Eating vinegar at this time also results in the woman not becoming clean (ritually clean) from the blood of menstruation, coriander (and watermelon) results in a difficult labour and sour apple results in the stopping (of regularity) of menstruation, and these all result in illnesses.11

7. People may make certain comments over the next few days. It is important not to let this affect you, and not to get drawn in to their conversations.

8. Don’t talk about your intimate details to outsiders; maintain respect of your spouse and your relationship.

And lets not forget even our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was a man as well:

Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.[Book 8 Hadith 3240] 'The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah)' of Sahih Muslim.

3242.
	Jabir heard Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) say: When a woman fascinates any one of you and she captivates his heart, he should go to his wife and have an intercourse with her, for it would repel what he feels. Your wife has the same things that the beautiful woman has.

 In Islam it is advisable for a man to have sex with his wife before jumma prayers.

Islam prohibits only two things between husband and wife:

1- Intercourse when the woman is in menstruation period and afterbirth period.

2- Anal intercourse. It is a great sin for a man to have anal intercourse with his wife.

Other than the above two restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with ones wife any place, any time, and any how their hearts desire.

You can do anything with your wife.. Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.

There is absolutely no veil or purdah between the sacred relationship of a husband and a wife in Islam. It is absolutely permissible for a husband and a wife to sleep, stand, sit, or do whatever they wish whole night or whole day fully naked when no one is in the house! You can see each other naked, sleep naked. The basic principle is that it is permissible for spouses to enjoy looking at and touching one another.  There is absolutely no harm or sin if the husband shaves the pubic hair of the wife, or the wife clears the unwanted hair of the husband, if they wish to do so. There is absolutely no harm or restriction in the husband and wife having a bath together, or having sexual intercourse in the bathroom in a standing, sitting, or any position they may wish. One is neither obliged nor required in Shariah to cover themselves with a bed-sheet when conjugating with ones wife

With regard to the ruling on tahaarah (purity) in this case, embracing one another whilst sleeping, so long as it does not lead to emission of maniy (semen) or intercourse, does not necessitate ghusl.

But if madhiy (prostatic fluid) is emitted, then the man has to wash his penis and testicles, and do wudoo’ for prayer, and the woman has to wash her private part and do wudoo’ likewise.

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]

 al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically).

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

https://islamqa.info/en/10680

You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you. 

How to make love to your wife in islam and Science.

http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2016/03/how-to-make-love-to-your-wife-in-islam.html

A MUSLIM WIFE

http://saleemindia.blogspot.com/2016/02/a-muslim-wife-by-haleh-banani.html