LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER
--------------------------
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

=======================

Surgery

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest.  And
they deserved it. They had done a good job.

Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He
made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about
his looks.

However it wasn't his glowing probiscus that he wanted changed.  He was proud
of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive
about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average
reindeer, or bear for that matter.

So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the pinna reconstructive
surgery procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been  celebrated as ...
New Ears Day.

===================