"I think laughter is very imperative. And that's the important part of my life, of making people laugh so they can forget their problems. A good laugh is better than anything." http://saleemindia.blogspot.com "
IF GOD HAD A PC . . .is this it adina?
*IF GOD HAD A PC . . .*
In the beginning, there was the computer.
And God entered:
C:\>Let there be light!
Enter user ID
C:\>God
Enter password
C:\>Omniscient
Invalid password
Enter password
C:\>Omnipotent
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
C:\>Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command
C:\>Create light
Done
C:\>Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
C:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\>Create firmament
Done.
C:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
C:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and
let the dry land appear and Too many characters in specification string.
Try again.
C:\>Create dry_land
Done.
C:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
C:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the
day and the moon and stars ruled over the night. And God saw there were
0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
C:\>Create fish
Done
C:\>Create fowl
Done
C:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
C:\>Create cattle
Done
C:\>Create creepy_things
Done
C:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create man
Done
C:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors..
C:\>Insert breath
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\>Create Garden_of_Eden
Too many parameters
C:\>Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\>Copy woman from man
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\>Create desire
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create freewill
Done
C:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create good, evil
Done
C:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman no longer located in
Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter
replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\>Ctrl_Break
C:\>Ctrl_Break
C:\>Ctrl_Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:\>Create new world
You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
C:\>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
C:\>Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICE
WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM.
YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
On Saturday, March 7, God rested.
On March 8, God created Macintosh.
And God saw that it was GOOD.
--
----------
God Was Busy
A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that there is
no God, the expression "One Nation Under God", was unconstitutional, and
further, he was going to prove there is no God.
Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want
you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent.
You could have heard a pin fall.
Ten minutes went by.
Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."
His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine just
released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to
the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tail over
teacup from his lofty platform.
The professor was out cold!
At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion.
The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent.
The class fell silent...waiting.
Eventually, the professor came to, shaken.
He looked at the young Marine in the front row.
When he regained his senses and could speak he yelled, "What's the
matter with you? Why did you do that?"
"God was busy. He sent me."
*IF GOD HAD A PC . . .*
In the beginning, there was the computer.
And God entered:
C:\>Let there be light!
Enter user ID
C:\>God
Enter password
C:\>Omniscient
Invalid password
Enter password
C:\>Omnipotent
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
C:\>Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command
C:\>Create light
Done
C:\>Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
C:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\>Create firmament
Done.
C:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
C:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and
let the dry land appear and Too many characters in specification string.
Try again.
C:\>Create dry_land
Done.
C:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
C:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the
day and the moon and stars ruled over the night. And God saw there were
0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
C:\>Create fish
Done
C:\>Create fowl
Done
C:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
C:\>Create cattle
Done
C:\>Create creepy_things
Done
C:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>Create man
Done
C:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors..
C:\>Insert breath
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\>Create Garden_of_Eden
Too many parameters
C:\>Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\>Copy woman from man
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\>Create desire
Done
C:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create freewill
Done
C:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\>Create good, evil
Done
C:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman no longer located in
Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter
replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\>Ctrl_Break
C:\>Ctrl_Break
C:\>Ctrl_Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:\>Create new world
You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
C:\>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
C:\>Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICE
WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM.
YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
On Saturday, March 7, God rested.
On March 8, God created Macintosh.
And God saw that it was GOOD.
--
----------
God Was Busy
A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that there is
no God, the expression "One Nation Under God", was unconstitutional, and
further, he was going to prove there is no God.
Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want
you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent.
You could have heard a pin fall.
Ten minutes went by.
Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."
His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine just
released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to
the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tail over
teacup from his lofty platform.
The professor was out cold!
At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion.
The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent.
The class fell silent...waiting.
Eventually, the professor came to, shaken.
He looked at the young Marine in the front row.
When he regained his senses and could speak he yelled, "What's the
matter with you? Why did you do that?"
"God was busy. He sent me."
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