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Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York.
One sat in the window seat and the other sat
in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an
American got on and took the aisle seat.
After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes
off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when
the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll get
up and get a beer." "No problem," said the
American, "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, one of the Arabs picked up
the American's shoe and spat in it. When he
returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That
looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the
American obligingly went to get it and while he
was gone, the other Arab picked up the other
shoe and spat in it.
When the American returned to his seat, they all
sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was
landing, the American slipped his feet into his
shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
He looked at the two Arabs and asked, "Why does
it have to be this way? How long must this go on?
This fighting between our nations? This hatred?
This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing
in beers?"
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Genie Genie...
Two friends were playing golf, when one pulled out a cigar. He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. "I sure do," he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter.
"Wow ! " said his friend, "where did you get that monster?"
"I got it from my genie."
"You have a genie?" he asked.
"Yes, he's right here in my golf bag."
He opens his golf bag and out pops the genie.
The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?"
"Yes I will," the genie said.
So he asks the genie for a million bucks, and the genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there waiting for his million bucks.
Suddenly the sky begins to darken, and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.
The friend tells his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks, not ducks!"
He answers, "I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch BIC?"
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