NEW RULES FOR MARRAIGE THE HUSBAND -WIFE RELATIONSHIP

NOTE:THE INTENTION IS TO SHARE INFORMATION FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES SO THAT IT CAN HELP MANY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KNOW.THE SOURCES OF INFORMATION INDICATED SO THAT THEY CAN GO TO THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE.

Sexual foreplay-Tips to help arouse her  http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2018/03/why-men-want-sex-and-women-want-love.html

Happy Ending Massage

The truth of the matter is far more women receive erotic or sensual massages than the public is aware of.

This massage can focus on certain areas  like the breasts, lower abdomen, inner thighs near his/her private parts.

 Logically, anything that increases blood flow to the pelvis increases sensitivity, arousal.

First Back massage:"At first you're on your stomach, so they're just massaging your back, Lightly caress your S.O.'s neck, shoulders, arms, back, and buttocks with your fingertips  for at least five minutes.

Second Front Massage:" Then they turn you over. [My masseur] started massaging my breasts. My nipples got erect, so that must have sent him a signal. Nipple play is also important. "Nipple stimulation is processed in the same region of the brain as touch to the clitoris and penis, so lightly stimulating the area around the nipple (the areola) on both men and women can be very stimulating," says Laino. "It will increase blood flow to both the nipples and to the genital area. And don't forget the abs! This is a hot spot for both men and women—especially the area between the belly button and genitals, says Laino. "Massaging this area can make the pelvic floor muscles contract," she says. That sends blood flow straight to the genitals, she says. 

 He started rubbing me on the pressure points around my hips. Giving his or her inner thighs a rubdown. "The inner thighs, for ladies and gents, are very sensitive because they're so close to the genitals. He never actually touched my clitoris or vagina; it was just all around the area.  This guy was a master of temptation. He would get oh so close, closer... and then back away.

 My legs spread apart almost involuntarily as I waited for him to start the sexy part.

Ok, now that your S.O. is primed and ready, onto the good stuff:

For Him
Warm up some massage oil by rubbing it with both hands, then spread it all over his penis and testicles. Place one hand on the shaft of his penis, and start stroking it in an up and down motion, says Cadell. Meanwhile, use the other hand to gently roll his testicles in your palm. Do this in slow-mo for at least a few minutes.

Next, gently rub his penis with both hands as if rubbing a stick to make a fire, then gradually segue into a corkscrew motion, where one hand twists up while the other twists down.

Now concentrate on massaging his penis from top to bottom, covering the head and sliding your hands down to the base—one after another—in a fluid motion. "Do this for about 10 strokes and don't be surprised if he suddenly climaxes because this stroke makes him feel like he's inside a wet vagina," says Cadell. Me. Ow.

For Her
"On the female genitals, it's best to switch to a water-based lubricant because if oil gets inside the vagina, it can cause irritation," says Cadell. Make sure to warm the lube with your hands first before placing them in her vagina.  Nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm

Start by focusing on the vulva, which is the outside visible area of the vagina, says Cadell. Gently rub the lube around her vaginal lips all the way down to her anus.

Gently part her outer lips with both of your thumbs, caressing them in circular motions for at least two minutes. Slide your thumbs up and down her outer lips until they're spread apart, then do the same with her inner lips. "The inner lips are more sensitive, so use less pressure," says Cadell. "Watch for her body language and for the swelling of her vaginal lips, which is a natural progression when a woman gets aroused."

Finally, gently slide your thumb and forefinger up and down the sides of the clitoris for about 10 strokes. Massage the head of the clitoris in circular motions using your forefinger and thumb. "You may feel it growing as it becomes more excited, and with the clitoris containing about 8,000 nerve fibers, don't be surprised if she has a body-melting, earth-shattering orgasm," says Cadell. Game. Set. Match.

Source of the article:: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/how-to-give-happy-ending-massage

How to Give Your Wife a Body Massage

WHAT YOUR WIFE WANT FROM YOU IN BEDROOM.

Men, to experience and share great sex with your wife, be sure to use some of these sexual foreplay tips. There is an art to foreplay. Don’t just grab and squeeze, or head straight for her privates.

Foreplay is not about...

1.             Kissing

2.             Breasts and

3.             Intercourse .... all in five minutes!

In actuality, foreplay is really about courting and wooing your wife’s sensual responses and sexual arousal.

Before we get into the tips and suggestions, let’s review the all important basics of foreplay:

1.             Foreplay is part of the preparation phase of lovemaking.

2.             Foreplay is focusing on helping your wife come to sexual arousal.

3.             Foreplay must not be rushed. Spend at least 20 to 30 minutes on foreplay.

Okay, let’s get to the “mechanics”of foreplay…

Sexual Foreplay Tips to Use BEFORE You’re in the Bedroom

·                     kiss her gently in public

·                     touch her face and stroke her hair

·                     tell her you love her

·                     hold hands or put your arm around her in public

·                     tell her she’s beautiful

Tips to Use When WARMING UP!

·                     slowly start undressing her

·                     give her tender kisses on the lips

·                     gently stroke her face

·                     take time to give her a full body or shoulder massage

·                     gently caress all parts of her body (not just the typical “sexual” parts)

·                     whisper and tell her how beautiful she is and how good she feels

·                     kiss her softly all over her body

·                     interlace your fingers with hers

·                     caress her tummy (don’t tickle though!)

·                     touch and fondle her

·                     keep talking about how much you love her (unless you’re kissing)

·                     try to discover new touch points on her body that are sensitive and bring sexual arousal

·                     keep looking at her

Foreplay Tips to Use as Things GET HOT!

·                     begin more passionate kissing (don’t underestimate this tip!)

·                     start faster stroking and caressing of her body

·                     include full body embracing

·                     start oral stimulation such as licking and sucking

·                     begin to caress her inner thighs

·                     continue telling her all the ways you think she’s gorgeous and how much she excites you

·                     squeeze and stroke her body

FINAL Sexual Foreplay Tips

·                     move your hands from the top of her body all the way down until they reach between her legs

·                     listen to your wife’s verbal cues… is she feeling discomfort or pleasure?

·                     use lubricant to begin stroking her vagina and clitoris

·                     gently massage her outer vaginal lips

·                     pay attention to your wife’s body language; is she beginning to respond?

·                     ask your wife to tell you what feels good to her

·                     reach up to her breasts

·                     kiss her passionately all over her body

·                     massage her inner thighs

·                     stimulate her clitoris until she lets you know she’s ready for intercourse or ready to orgasm

·                     don’t forget to keep talking to her; tell her how much you enjoy her body

Using these foreplay ideas will bring great benefits to you and your wife’s sexual relationship including:

·                     increased awareness of your wife’s body and how she responds

·                     great orgasm experience for both you and her

·                     closer emotional intimacy as you focus on your wife’s sexual needs

So, remember:

1.             Start Slow and Gentle

2.             Speak Lovingly

3.             Don’t Rush

4.             Use Lubricant

5.             Better Discover How She Responds

Sex is more than intercourse. It’s touching. It’s playing. It’s feeling wonderful! It’s being even more intimate.

A woman's largest erogenous zone is her mind, with his words and actions being the ultimate tools for effective foreplay.

It is her pleasure that should be your focus, not yours!

She wants passion, Effort, Attention, Body massage and a lot of kissing.

Make foreplay something that you do together, not something that he does to you. Miller & Byers found that men and women desire the same length of foreplay—18 minutes to be exact. 

Woman, Take the reigns :The key is taking the initiative. In other words, you need to kiss your husband first before he gets a chance to kiss you..

Show him your naked body: You naked is probably the hottest gift you can give your man. Allow him to soak up the sight instead of killing the lights because you feel your belly\'s not flat enough or your breasts are too small. “Men’s brain chemistry changes when they’re presented with a sexy image,” says an expert, “so flaunting your body will make his desire climb.”Push him down on the bed and straddle him! tease him by twisting your naked body over him in different directions, arching your back, and letting your breasts graze his face and chest, rubbing your vagina over his body,sitting on his lap, 

Guide his hands over your "hot" spots showing him just how you like to be touched. Tell him what you want. He said that women make the first move by asking him to touch their breasts or butt, or sometimes the women literally move his hands to their body parts that need a little extra attention. 

Massage can be a HUGE part of foreplay and can be the most crucial part to pleasing your wife in the bedroom. 

Tell her to get naked, and lie down on the bed face down, When massaging your wife, sit on her bum. This will REALLY turn her on

BACK FIRST::Rub her Neck, Arm, back, hips, Thigh and finally the Foot for the first 15 minutes. Move your hands slowly and confidently along her legs and buttocks, encouraging blood flow to her most intimate of areas – the more blood that flows to her vaginal area the more intense her sensations, sensitivity, lubrication and ultimate satisfaction will be.

FRONT SECOND: Ask her to turn over slowly with her eyes closed and begin massaging her breasts, stomach, arms and legs. Spend 2 to 3 minutes on each of the body parts. Touching a woman's nipples, releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone.Suck her boobs,she loves it.

FINALLY THE VAGINA: With her body massaged and fully relaxed, you can now massage her vagina and the surrounding areas slowly.

Now sit between her legs. Enjoy the sensation of touching your wife, watching the beauty of her yoni, watching her body respond.

While you do this, put your other hand in her heart area.

hold her yoni lips between your fingers and slide up and down, holding her lips between your fingers and thumbs.

With one finger, stroke down from her pubic bone, between her lips, over her clit, between her inner lips, over the opening of her yoni to the perineum.

Then put two fingers on either side of the hood of her clit, stroke up and down, one up, one down, gently squeeze her clit between your fingers. With one fingertip on the head of her clit, FEATHERLIGHT, make circles, stroke up and down, across.

ITS ALL ABOUT HER CLITORIS.READ ALL THE FOLLOWING ARTICLES ON CLITORIS.

16 New Ways to Touch Her Vagina

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/touch-her/slide/17

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/clit-101

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/13-things-you-should-do-to-her-clitoris?cid=socSW_20150719_49247936&adbid=10155774378390207&adbpl=fb&adbpr=56916320206

http://www.chacha.com/gallery/2303/what-are-some-vajayjay-fun-facts

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/clitoris-facts?cid=soc_Men%27s%20Health%20-%20MensHealth_FBPAGE_Men%27s%20Health__

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/how-to-touch-her-clitoris?cid=soc_Men%27s%20Health%20-%20MensHealth_FBPAGE_Men%27s%20Health__

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/clit-101

How to make love to your wife in islam and Science.

http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2016/03/how-to-make-love-to-your-wife-in-islam.html 

The above article is collected from the following resources

1. http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2013/10/women-need-foreplay-do-husbands-understand/

2.http://www.yourtango.com/experts/sean-jameson/foreplay-tips

3.http://www.idiva.com/photogallery-relationships/25-foreplay-ideas-your-man-will-love/12463

4.http://www.examiner.com/article/what-women-want-the-best-foreplay-for-women

5.http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/10-moves-she-wants-you-make-during-foreplay

6.http://www.theproblemismen.com/rants/what-women-really-want-in-the-bedroom

7.http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=670

8.http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/sex/advice/a5046/get-more-foreplay/

KEYWORDS :body massage, foreplay, health, How to Give Your Wife a Body Massage, love, marriage, massage, nikah, sex, wife, vagina-massage,yoni-massage,female,massager,masseuse, male,massager,masseur

Sent: Saturday, January 08, 2005 7:53 PM

Subject: NEW RULES FOR MARRAIGETHE HUSBAND -WIFE RELATIONSHIP

An Artcle by Shobha De:

The truth aboout marriage is that there are no answers. Its the most complex realtionship on EARTH.

Marraige will always be into FAMILIES,rather than to individuals.You cant eliminate family,that is what society requires. Today, marraige is all about a balancing act between children,friends,parents,career and the sometimes overpowering need to curl up in your own private space.

Give marraige sufficient TIME.

TOLERANCE is a must for any relationship to work.

COMMITMENT means one needs to give in sufficiently for a relationship to work.

Re: Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life

 

sent by: JEBEEN@aol.com

Sent: Sunday, January 09, 2005 12:46 AM

Subject: Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life

dear baity,

very recently exactly this thing happened to me in real life.and i had a very bad day.thanx a lot for this article.

----saleem

================================

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened.  What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.  You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal
battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home,When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your
relationship with your spouse and daughter.You had no control over what happened with the
coffee.
  How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused
your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
  Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to
cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to
be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your
briefcase, you come back down in time

=====================

"I think laughter is very imperative. And that's the important part of my life, of making people laugh so they can forget their problems. A good laugh is better than anything."  http://saleemindia.blogspot.com  "

----- Original Message -----

From: JEBEEN@aol.com

To: JEBEEN@aol.com

Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 10:33 AM

Subject: 1/6/05

Here is an interesting message for us to read and
think:

The 90/10 Principle

Have you read this before?
Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life
(at least the way you react to situations). What is
this principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of
life is decided by how you react. What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to
us. We cannot stop the car from breaking
down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws
our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in
traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other
90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red
light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let
people fool you; YOU can control
how you react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your
daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your
business shirt. You have no control over what just
what happened.  What happens when the next
will be determined by how you react.

You curse.  You harshly scold your daughter for
knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn
to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal
battle follows. You storm upstairs and change
your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter
has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get
ready for school.
She misses the  bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a
30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and
throwing $60 traffic fine away,you arrive at
school. Your daughter runs into the building without
saying goodbye.After arriving at the office 20 minutes
late, you find you forgot yourbriefcase. Your day has
started terrible. As it continues, it seems to
get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home,
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your
relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why
did you have a bad day?
                     A) Did the coffee cause it?
                      B) Did your daughter cause it?
                      C) Did the policeman cause it?
                    D) Did you cause it?

  The answer is " D".
  You had no control over what happened with the
coffee.
  How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused
your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
  Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to
cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to
be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your
briefcase, you come back down in time to look
through the window and see your child getting on the
bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early
and cheerfully greet the staff.
Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both
ended different.
  Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what
happens. The other 90% was determined by your
reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be
a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't
have to let the negative comment affect you! React
properly and it will not ruin your
day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a
friend,
being fired, getting stressed out etc.

  How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
  Do you lose your temper?
  Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had
the steering wheel fall off)
  Do you curse?
  Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why
let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about
it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get
irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy
and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule
for the day. Why take out your frustration on the
flight attendant? She has no control over what is
going on. Use your time to study,get to know the other
passenger.

Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you
will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing
if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and
apply this principle. The result? Millions of people
are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems
and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

  It CAN change your life***!!!!!!!

Re: Daily Tips on Time Management---Try this idea and see the difference!

 

Cc: nahid ; Eastern envo ; JEBEEN@aol.com ; barbara

Sent: Sunday, January 09, 2005 9:34 AM

Subject: Daily Tips on Time Management---Try this idea and see the difference!

visit http://saleemindia.blogspot.com

 

 

Notice Backsliding, don't feel guilty!
 

Have you ever made a promise to jog every day, sincerely implemented it for a few days and then discontinued? Decided to quit smoking, but returned to it after a few days? I am sure these sound familiar to you. On such occasions it is natural to feel guilty and lose self-confidence.

 

If you do it, don't! Accept backsliding as normal- as something that happens to almost all people who at first do some thing emotionally and then discontinue. We need to accept it as a part of human fallibility. We need to understand that habits are not formed over night and hence cannot be removed or changed over night.

 

Instead of feeling guilty and sad, becomes sensitive, but not emotional. To become sensitive is to notice an even through our five senses. To become emotional is to react either too positively or too negatively. Whenever you backslide, do not ignore, but take note of the same. Introspect why you gave up doing the same and record the specific reasons for the same. Find out how you can get back to doing the activity you gave up. Perhaps you committed to do some thing, which you cannot genuinely continue. Do a cause-effect analysis and find out the root cause for your inaction.

 

Resolve to solve the problem and don't avoid the same.

==================================

Practice fixed time appointments.

 

If you think about it, time management is nothing but getting into a discipline of doing a specific activity at a specific point of time frame. It is about time frame, time zones, time schedules, timetables, etc. Most of the time management tips are mere common sense. But, just like many common sense points are not so common, many will find them difficult to follow.

 

The reason for this situation is you are wired and programmed in a particular style due to conditioning of your mind and behaviour. We are comfortable to do things in the way we are used for a very long time. Any change from a pre set pattern of behaviour is difficult to practice and sustain. You will appreciate that many of the so-called New Year resolutions are given up after a few weeks of practice. We will have a lot of excuses for not following them.

 

However, you have to fight against this problem if you want to manage your time effectively. You need to understand that you should start from something, which is small and simple to follow. Do not start with major issues like yoga, jogging, skipping, etc. you can consider the following simple things:

 

;          Start having the morning coffee at a specific time, say 6 30 am sharp, and follow this meticulously

;          Start having break fast at a specific pre fixed time.

;          Start retiring to bed at a specific time.

 

You pick up small but simple activities such as the above. Do not attempt to change too many things at the same time. Have not more than 2 or 3 things to be changed at a point of time. Try to stick to the schedule for the next 30 to 40 days. Once you are able to do this, your confidence level will go up and thereafter you can take up bigger issues.

 

Remember the old adage: slow and steady wins the race'.

 

Try from to day, will you?
===================================

Focus on tasks and not on activities.

 

In managing our time, many of are conscious of what we are doing but not why we are doing what we are doing. We need to focus on the end result of our activities and not on merely on our activities. We need to distinguish between a 'task' and andactivity'. A task is the end result of an activity or a set of activities.

 

For example, 'reading a book' is an activity and the task is acquisition of knowledge. 'Jogging' is an activity and reducing weight is the task. If there is no link between an activity and a task in our conscious awareness, then we may not do that activity for long. They become meaningless rituals in our mind. If an activity or a set of activities does not produce the expected results, then it becomes a waste of time.

 

The ability to link and activity and task is an important ingredient for success. We need to start with an end in our mind and just not be merely doing an activity. Our inner dialogue should be in line with this simple principle. For example, we should say 'I am going to jog'. Instead of this we should say 'I will be one kg less in 30 days by jogging 15 minutes per day'. We should not say 'I am meditating' but say, 'I am improving my mental health by meditating'.

 

Whenever we are able to link an activity and a task, we will be able to measure the result of our outcome. By simply asking the question 'why am I doing this activity? we will be able to release our time a lot of unnecessary activities which 'fills up' our time. We will be able to distinguish between 'value adding' and 'non value adding activities'. An activity is value adding only when it takes us nearer to our goals and objectives. All other activities are non-value adding and are just 'filler' material for our time.

 

Time is such a precious resource, which should not be dissipated on meaningless activities. Today you print a question: why am I doing this? and place it in front of your worktable. This will help you to make

off-course corrections in your daily activities.

 

Just answer this question: why are you reading this page!

=====================================

Longest uninterrupted span.

 

Can you visualise a journey during which you are stopped every now and then and ultimately you arrive very late to the destination fully exhausted and frustrated? This is what comes to my mind when your flow of work is interrupted by frequent interruption such as telephone, visitors, unexpected meetings, etc.

 

From to day for the next one week you keep a log of the interruptions that you come across. Find out the longest span of un-interrupted time (other than sleeping of course!) when you were able to concentrate on the task on hand. You will be surprised that it is much shorter than you thought. In my experience people say that is not more than 15 to 20 minutes on a normal day!

 

You need to concentrate like a laser beam and your concentration should not be dissipated like a torch light beam. There is always a delay to get back to your flow every time you are interrupted. You may miss some very important point and forget what you were about to write or say if you are interrupted. More than any thing your valuable time will be wasted and you will end up taking much more time to complete the task in hand.

 

One of the ways to deal with this problem is to study your interruption log and find out the most frequent cause for your interruption and take counter measure. For example, if telephone is your most frequent interruption, you may divert all the calls or sit in a place where you will not be interrupted at all. Or you can keep the receiver off the hook. Adapt a method, which is most suitable to you.

 

One other idea is to wake up before others wake up and concentrate on your most important issue with out any interruption. Or you can keep awake till late in the night and beat the interruption. Find out a hiding place where you will not be disturbed at all. Inform people around you that you are not available for the next couple of hours (or minutes!) and request their cooperation.

 

Do some thing. Be innovative. Beat the interruption.

 

How many times you were interrupted before completing this page?

=====================================

Check your tools

 

While dealing with our time, we need to know that we should make our time to work for us. If think carefully, we will understand that there is no such thing as managing time! What we are trying to do is to do is ensure that we reach the goals that we fix with in the time that we fix for accomplishing the same. If we reach the goal with in the time that we fix, we say that we have managed our time effectively. But the truth is that we have managed our outcome and not the time.

 

One important factor for managing and controlling our outcome is the  'tools' that we use in our day-to-day life. In engineering, there is a term called tooling . When the tools that we have are appropriate, we are able to complete the task in hand fast and effectively. We can give a lot of examples for this term tooling with reference to time and productivity. A car is a tool. A good computer is a tool. A calculator is a tool. If these tools are appropriate or if we do not have the appropriate tool at the appropriate time, then there is a delay in completing our task in time. In the absence of right type of tools our anxiety to complete our task in time will only result in time pressure.

 

We need to match the tools we have with our goals and how big is our goal. A diary is a very important tool. Its usefulness is as good as we chose and use the same. Take a look of your diary and check if it suits your profile and meets your requirement. There are day-at-sight diary and week-at-sight diary. There are also month-at-sight diaries. Depending on your normal week and appointment schedule, choose the one which fits your requirement. Don't use a diary just because some one gives you as a New Year gift!

=======================================

Dump the out dated!
 

Just visualize your walking inside a room where you find useless things but in a good shape. You find a gramophone recorder player, a telex machine, old clothing, a tricycle which you loved riding when you were young etc. Think how useful there were at a point of time. Are they useful anymore? Do you need them now? Are they valuable at this point of time? Similarly go through your old address book and visiting card album and look through each and every thing they contain. Do you need them any more?

 

Compare this scene with your mind and the contents of your mind! What is it filled with? Consider your old habits and things you did some time back. List the various thoughts that occupy your mind and evaluate if they are relevant now? Consider the skills that you have now and check for their validity and usefulness at this point of time. Similarly, list the various activities that you do at this point of time using a time logging sheet and analyze the content of your time. Check if you need to do them any more?

 

When it comes to materials, we need to ask the question: do I need it now and what will happen if I discard them? Similarly you need to ask the same question with reference to all the things listed above. Such introspection will help you to revalidate the various things that you do on a day-to-day basis. You will be able to release a lot of your time for pursuing more important and relevant activities which matches with to day's context.

 

Try this idea and see the difference!


 

Re: Add Fitness to your Daily Routine.

Sent: Sunday, January 09, 2005 10:47 AM

Subject: Add Fitness to your Daily Routine.

Add Fitness to your Daily Routine.

If you find you can't devote enough time to getting in shape as you would like, there are still plenty of ways you can keep your body active while going about your normal routine.
Try to use stairways instead of elevators whenever possible.
If you can walk there or take a bike, let your body burn energy instead of taking your car.
If you are driving, instead of wasting time looking for a good spot, park further away and walk a couple extra blocks.
Turn your housework into a fitness challenge: Sweep and mop using as much energy as possible, exaggerating your arm movements. Fold your clothes and do a couple sets of squats at the same time. Whatever you're doing try and incorporate in some sort of routine that gets your muscles working and heart rate moving.
And if you absolutely can't miss your favorite show on TV, try doing some sit-ups and push-ups while you watch or during commercials.

Thanks to: Jackie Fildon Boulder, CO USA.

1/7/05 Pizza anyone?

 

----- Original Message -----

From: JEBEEN@aol.com

To: saleemasraf@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, January 08, 2005 10:24 AM

Subject: 1/7/05 Pizza anyone?

This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is...

 

 

      Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national

      ID number?

      Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

      Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

      Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

      6102049998-45-54610.

      Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland

      Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at

      Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cellphone number is 031

      266-2566. Email addresses are

      sea2fd.sea2@hotmail and sheehan@home.net. Which number are you

      calling from sir?

      Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

      Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

      Customer: The HSS, what is that?

      Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This

      will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

      Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your

      All-Meat Special pizzas.

      Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

      Customer: Whaddya mean?

      Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that

      you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.

      Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy

      choice.

      Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

      Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll

      like it.

      Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

      Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet SoybeanRecipes' from your

      local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

      Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

      Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four

      kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is

      $49.99.

      Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

      Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.

      Your credit card balance is over its limit.

      Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your

      driver gets here.

      Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your cheque account is

      overdrawn also.

      Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.

      How long will it take?

      Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45

      minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while

      you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a

      motorcycle can be a little awkward.

      Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

      Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so

      your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled

      the tank yesterday.

      Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

      Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got

      a July 4, 2003 conviction for swearing at a cop and another one I see

      here in September for contempt at your hearing for swearing at a

      judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in

      the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your

      return.

      Customer: (speechless)

      Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

      Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 litre of Coke.

      Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us

      from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits

      this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut

 

Re: SUNDAY JOKES

Sent: Sunday, January 09, 2005 10:16 AM

Subject: SUNDAY JOKES

james bond

James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by calling first Bond, then followed by great smile & finally James Bond. His style is absolutely killing but he doesn't know the consequences till he meets our great Hyderabad guy.



When Bond meets a Hyderabad guy......



James Bond: "My name's Bond...(smiles and then says)....James Bond."



James Bond: And you?



Telugu Guy: I am Sai...



Venkata Sai...



Siva Venkata Sai...



Laxminarayana SivaVenkata Sai....



Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva VenkataSai...



Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana Siva VenkataSai.....



Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara Srinivasulu Laxminarayana SivaVenkata Sai....



Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyulu Rajasekhara SrinivasuluLaxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.....



James Bond faints!!!

================================

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate
me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your
responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

==============================

Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.

*****
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my
grandpa who died peacefuly
in his sleep not screamin like all d passengers
in d car he was driving..
> >
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a
mirror! ( hahahahahah )
> >
> >
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a
graveyard in punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still digging for more..
> >
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
walking at evening not in
the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not
AM''.

> >
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last
words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
-- =================================

A girl went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Coach : Mam, here two piece costume is not allowed.
Girl : Kaun sa Utaroon? !!!

*******************************************************************************

One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash.
Lady cashier asked: So so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.

*******************************************************************************
A Girl lodging a FIR report against the Rapist
Girl : Inspector saab,

char mein ek ne mere breast pakde,
ek ne meri gand mari,
ek ne choda,
ek ne chooma.
Inspector : Bus kar, FIR likha rahi hai....
Ya land khada kar rahi hai.

*******************************************************************************

A lady lost 3 panties in her house.
She asked her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai mai aandar
kuchh nahi pahanti.

*******************************************************************************

Man went to a bakery & asks
MAN : Abe pau hai kya?
BAKERYWALA : To kya madarchod, lund pe khada hu kya?

*******************************************************************************

A Lady dashes a man while getting in the bus ...
Man : Apne santre sambhaliye ma'm, they disturb me.
Lady : (Angrily) Tumko kya, santre mere hai na.
Man : Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai.
*******************************************************************************

Saas aur bahu me hamesha anban kyo?
Kyonki jis ladke ki underwear saas ne 25 saal sambhali
Who bahu ne 2 minute me utari.
*******************************************************************************

Teacher: Kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: Jalta hua bulb
Teacher: Why ?
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rdhi thi "Bulb
bujha do to muh mein loongi"

*******************************************************************************

Sardar : How u got pregnant without me?
Wife : I was praying ur ID photo daily.
Sardar : Chutiya banati hai, photo to passport size ka
hai, samaan kahan hai?
*******************************************************************************

Sardar with big tummy go for walk in lungi.
One girl jokingly ask : Ye matka kitne ka?
He lift lungi & says : Nul ke saath 450 ka.
*******************************************************************************

A sardar havin sex with his wife when his condom went
in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega.
*******************************************************************************

Sardar : Maine ladka maanga tha ladki kaise ho gayi?
Sardarni : Tumhare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti.

*******************************************************************************

A sardar gave 36 roses to his GF, who thrilled,
undresses lies down spreads her legs & says: "This is
for the roses."
Sardar: "Why, cant you find a vase."

*******************************************************************************

A crow shits on a sardar, sardarni hands over tissue
to sardarji.
Sardar says: Ab kiski gaand ponchhu, kawwa to udd
gaya.
*******************************************************************************

Sardar : Lets try something different. Do it in ears.
Sardarni : Hohji, main behra ho gayi to?
Sardar : Aaj tak goongi hui kya?

*******************************************************************************

(A man visits his doctor and.....)
Man : Doc, mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doctor : do u have girlfriend?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u visit pros?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u go for mujra?
Man : No
Doctor : To khada karke uspar kya coat taangega?

*******************************************************************************************************************

 

*****

At weddings old aunts usd to tease me saying "You are next, you are
next."
But they stoppd it since I started doin the same to them at
funerals...!!

*****

Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby.
Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great.
Jeeto: If it looks like you, it would be a miracle.

*****

Will you love me after marriage also?
This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

*****
morning dialogue:
Banta, "Honey, you know when I shave in the morning I feel 10 years
younger."
Preeto, "But can you shave in the evening then?"

*****

Beware of Indian moms

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl
roommate Sunita.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
pretty Kumar's, roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and
this
had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while
watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more
between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his
mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking,
but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your
mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact
remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that
you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now
under the pillow...

Love,
Mom.

Lesson of the day: Don't Lie to Your
Mother...........especially if
she is Indian !
----payal

=====================================

Brought it on Yourself

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please standup?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, onefreshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?"enquired the teacher with a sneer."Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to seeyou standing up there all by yourself."
---------------------------------
Idiots

One day a man was walking in the street. He met another man who asked him what happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages. He said "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron, and so I burnt my ears". The man asked, "So what happened to your other ear?" He said, " That same stupid guy called again!

===================================

Fishing?

This guy had an awful day fishing on the lake,
sitting in the blazing
sun all day without catching a single one. On his
way home, he stopped
at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones
out and throw them at
me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught
them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange
roughy."

"But why?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said
that if you came by, I
should tell you to take orange roughy. She
prefers that for supper tonight."

**********************************************************************
^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-
PUNISHMENT
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade
6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started
writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle
from one of the boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you
for three days."
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realising she had
forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top
of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from
another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so
funny Billy?"
"Well miss, I just saw both of your garters."
Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the
punishment is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three
weeks."
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns
around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there
is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly
turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.
"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."
------------======================

Sign

There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says "Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: "Now there are two".

==========================