Is passionate love in marriage…real?

Source of the article : https://hadithoftheday.com/is-passionate-love-in-marriage-real/

10 Considerations when Searching for the One

“I’m afraid of getting married,” she told me. She, like the countless other women who had approached me, confessed what she thought was unique to her. “I’m constantly told by older married women that I should enjoy my life being single because marriage is a burden. I’ve never seen an example of a happy marriage. My married friends call me to complain about their husbands and ask me for advice. How am I supposed to know what to tell them?! I try to provide support, but all those conversations do is make me feel even more insecure about committing to someone in a marital relationship. I truly want to get married, but I’m honestly afraid of being unhappy.”

“Is it possible…” she trailed, her voice cracking, “Do happy marriages… you know, the ones in the movies where they can’t wait to be with each other, where they’re madly in love with each other…do they exist? Is hot, passionate, love even real?”

The amalgamation of her questions were the same which young women have consistently approached me with; their innate desires to get married often overshadowed by the fear of an unavoidable matrimony of suffering. Having little to no examples of passionate marriages in real life and being inundated with romantic love stories such as “The Notebook,” these young women have continuously posed the same questions, “Is it possible to be happy in a marriage? Is that physical, emotional passion, real?”

The answer? Yes! Yes, it is possible. Yes! It is real. While it may be problematic to compare a real-life relationship to the fake ones portrayed in a few hours of a movie, your marriage still can make Ryan Gosling’s and Rachel McAdam’s characters jealous of your fiery, playful, emotionally intriguing, physically flaming relationship.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Noha Alshugairi¹ , provides wisdom based on research describing the ingredients required for such a relationship. She shares, “Psychologist Robert Sternberg describes 7 forms of love depending on how much passion, intimacy, and commitment the relationship contains. He describes the one that has all 3 factors as consummate love. This is the love that will withstand the test of time and will bring a couple the sakina (tranquil) marriage Allah describes in Surat ar-Rume.”

So, if it does exist, how can a single person seeking such love attain it in their future marital life? The beginning of the answer lies in helping ensure one marries the right spouse.

The following are 10 considerations one could make through this process:

1. Know yourself.
   • Knowing your priorities, your general life perspective, your own expectations in marriage, will help inform what you should be looking for in a potential spouse. Ask yourself: why do I want to get married? What are my needs in a relationship? What do I expect out of marriage?
   • Also, understand that marriage is not the solution to your own deficiencies, nor will it be the solution to all your life problems. Work to develop your own self without expecting marriage to somehow mystically change your life. Marriage can be a great source of support and encouragement for self-improvement, but if we are not personally working on ourselves now, how can we expect that it will be easier with the additional baggage of another individual who is also imperfect?

2. Prioritize your criterion.
   • Create a list of core and extra qualities you need in a spouse. Also, understand what you absolutely cannot accept. As advised by Noha Alshugairi, “Really focus on core criteria that will make or break a marriage. If you are not sure about the difference between core and extra criteria, talk to people who are married or to professionals.”
   • Know that some criteria are much more important for the success of a marriage than others and be reasonable when considering a potential. If the individual you are considering has everything you want except for the absolute most important item on your core list, then this person likely is not the one for you. Recognize that your list may change as you evolve as an individual. Keep a written copy so that you can consult your list over time and take note of those changes.

3.  “Engage your mind before your heart.”
   • A phrase coined by Noha Alshugairi, this step aims to help one focus on finding the right person for a lifetime. In the thrill of considering a spouse, many people become blind to discernable signals that would have otherwise been obvious. Emotions have their place; but do not allow your emotions to control your decision. Use your mind to consider whether this person is logically the right choice for the rest of your life, while consulting your heart to make sure it is comfortable with your decisions. Making sure everything checks out is much more difficult to do when one is blinded by emotion; don’t get caught up in the excitement, only to crash once you get married and realize the person you live with is not the one you should be with.

4. Understand that taqwa (God consciousness) is not enough, and compatibility is a requirement.
   • Let’s consider this idea: if a God-conscious person takes a class in college, yet they do not do any of the coursework or they do not do well on their exams, will they miraculously get a good grade in the class simply because they pray five times a day? Unlikely. Then how much more true is this in a marriage!
   • Taqwa alone is not enough; the prospect needs to be compatible as well. The marriage of Zayd and Zaynab, both incredible companions of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be up on him) who surpassed us all in their piety and good character, is an example of two great people who divorced simply due to their incompatibility. Thus deliberate: are we both considering expectations in similar ways? Religiously, are we aligned in our perspectives and goals? Is this person really good for my growth as an individual? For my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health and security? Will they be a parent? Do we share similar interests and perspectives? Will they be good for my family?

5. Recognize the importance of pre-marital counseling with a qualified marriage and family therapist and ask questions.
   • Speak to a professional therapist; not an Imam (unless they’re professionally qualified). Not a friend, unless they’re a marriage counselor. Someone who is trained, experienced, and who knows how to help you identify important issues and develop strategies to help you both ensure you’re marrying the right person for you and that you’ll, God willing, continue to feel that thrill with years after you’ve tied the knot.
   • Ask questions which will help you understand the Potential’s perspective on life and marriage. 150 sample questions may be found in Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine’s book: Before the Wedding.

6. Prepare for your lifetime; not just a one time event.
   • Oftentimes, both parties focus completely on preparing for the wedding, pouring money and time into a few hours of the start of their lives together, without investing on preparing for their lifetime together. Pre-marital counseling, speaking with married couples, reading books and researching what makes marriages thrive are avenues few new couples have engaged.
   • Read books on the communication styles of men and women, on love languages, on successful marriages and fulfilling the needs of one another. Readings recommended by Noha Alshugairi:
     • The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
     • Marital Myths Revisited by Arnold Lazarus
     • Things I Wish I knew Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman
     • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

7. Observe the Potential and keep things on the down low.
   • Observe them, consider their reactions when they’re frustrated or embarrassed; it is likely that their unconscious reactions will be the habits they’ve instilled. If there is something you do not like, never expect that it will be something that they will change. They may initially, if they like you enough to want you to marry them. However, be very cautious as this type of change can be fleeting, and when reality kicks in after the marriage, it would have been a red flag you should have taken seriously.
   • If you’re considering someone for marriage, do not share it with the world. Don’t post it on Facebook and tell random people in casual conversations. Keep your affairs private, with the exception of those who matter through this process. Protect yourself and the person you’re considering from simply being something to talk about. This is serious business; appreciate and respect one another’s privacy.

8. Consider the roles of your parents, and own your decision.
   • Parents play different roles often based on their background and this can impede a marriage or help it succeed. Consider your parents’ roles in your courtship process and also openly discuss their roles in the life of you and your future spouse. Will you live together? Will you be expected to choose between the preferences of your parents or in-laws versus the preferences of your spouse? Where do you and your future spouse’s priorities lie in relationship to parents? Answers to these questions may help you decide whether a Prospect is worth considering.
   • Remember: You are the one living with this decision for the rest of your life. Make sure it is you who is completely certain of this being the right choice; pressure from parents or any others can lead to a life of misery. Own your decision for your own self, regardless of how difficult it may be to deal with the way others react.
9. Discuss expectations.
   • With the instability of the economy and the ever-changing roles of men and women’s educational and career pursuits, the once “obvious” division of responsibilities requires clarifications. What responsibilities are specific to the husband, to the wife, and to both as a team? Who will work, or will both? How do you consider raising kids? For how many years will one/both support the other in their educational or career pursuits? Who is responsible for what types of housework? A clear discussion of these issues may help ease tensions that can arise when there were unstated expectations one or both parties had entering the relationship.
10. Pray istikhara (prayer seeking guidance).
    • Consult God about your decision. You may not see any obvious signs of why this is or is not the right person, but you may feel it in your heart. Beyond the jittery feelings of excitement or nervousness, your heart may speak to you about its level of trust and comfort in this matter.
    • Someone I know continually felt that the person she was engaged to marry was the wrong guy. She spoke to her parents multiple times, but each time they dismissed her concerns and convinced her he had everything she was looking for. She could not pinpoint why she felt something was wrong and continued with the marriage. She tried to convince herself that her parents were right and she did not have a solid reason to say no, despite the fact that she did not feel good about it. Within one year, she realized the “pious” and “good-character” man everyone thought she was marrying was a front for who he really turned out to be. Her marriage ended in divorce and her parents felt guilty about taking her pre-marriage concerns so lightly. Her heart had spoken to her after making istikhara, but she had continually ignored its messages because of the pressure she felt from others. Listen to your heart and trust your intuition.

Finally, love and passion is only one aspect of marriage. And it is not necessarily an obligatory component for a happy marriage. Many couples do not have a “passionate” relationship and they are more than happy and successful in their marriages.

Additionally, it is possible, that even when a person carefully engages in the entire process of choosing a spouse, with wisdom, depth and research, they may not find themselves happy in their marriage or they may eventually divorce.

Choosing the right person and putting in researched effort aids significantly in preparing to maintain a zesty, romantic, compassionate relationship, if that is what both are looking for, but it is only one step amongst many steps in the right direction.

Thus, discuss your own ideal vision for marriage honestly with the Potential and figure out what steps it will take to help you both get there.

The vigor may be powerful in the beginning of a happy marriage, but it has the potential to become an even stronger, indescribable force of awesomeness with the blessing of God and work from both spouses. Passionate and sustainable love in marriage can be real for many. But it takes work, growth and sacrifice from the very beginning and through end.

Proudly brought to you by Virtual Mosque, more Virtual Mosque can be found at http://www.virtualmosque.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/is-hot-passionate-lovereal/

what is your greatest passion in life ?

Most people often don't know their purpose in life.

What are you here to do and what is your greatest passion in life ?

Listen to heart and follow what is true to you.

For me, when i start writing this blog posts (www.saleemindia.blogspot.com) i can easily go for six to eight hours without even realising it.

When I look at past experiences, i have started to clearly see which ones make me become totally absorbed.

The easiest way to get to know yourself is through blogging. By writing to yourself on a regular basis. when you write your thoughts down in words,you start the process of  truly understanding your dreams,hopes,gifts,weakness,lessons you have learnt and hidden talents you may have.

I schedule time in my calendar at least once a week,to do something that i absolutely love.
Right now, this is blogging. (www.saleemindia.blogspot.com).

FORGET WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU. you will never unlock your passion unless you put aside what other people think of you. Successful people know that learning to ignore other peoples opinion of you is how you achieve the impossible.

Share your passion with the world.post it on social media.

This blog has more than four lacs views till today with more than one thousand posts.
www.saleemindia.blogspot.com

How to Give Your Wife a Body Massage

NOTE:THE INTENTION IS TO SHARE INFORMATION FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES SO THAT IT CAN HELP MANY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KNOW.THE SOURCES OF INFORMATION INDICATED SO THAT THEY CAN GO TO THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE.

The truth of the matter is far more women receive erotic or sensual massages than the public is aware of.

This massage can focus on certain areas  like the breasts, lower abdomen, inner thighs near his/her private parts.

 Logically, anything that increases blood flow to the pelvis increases sensitivity, arousal.

First Back massage:"At first you're on your stomach, so they're just massaging your back, Lightly caress your S.O.'s neck, shoulders, arms, back, and buttocks with your fingertips  for at least five minutes.

Second Front Massage:" Then they turn you over. [My masseur] started massaging my breasts. My nipples got erect, so that must have sent him a signal. Nipple play is also important. "Nipple stimulation is processed in the same region of the brain as touch to the clitoris and penis, so lightly stimulating the area around the nipple (the areola) on both men and women can be very stimulating," says Laino. "It will increase blood flow to both the nipples and to the genital area. And don't forget the abs! This is a hot spot for both men and women—especially the area between the belly button and genitals, says Laino. "Massaging this area can make the pelvic floor muscles contract," she says. That sends blood flow straight to the genitals, she says. 

 He started rubbing me on the pressure points around my hips. Giving his or her inner thighs a rubdown. "The inner thighs, for ladies and gents, are very sensitive because they're so close to the genitals. He never actually touched my clitoris or vagina; it was just all around the area.  This guy was a master of temptation. He would get oh so close, closer... and then back away.

 My legs spread apart almost involuntarily as I waited for him to start the sexy part.

Ok, now that your S.O. is primed and ready, onto the good stuff:

For Him
Warm up some massage oil by rubbing it with both hands, then spread it all over his penis and testicles. Place one hand on the shaft of his penis, and start stroking it in an up and down motion, says Cadell. Meanwhile, use the other hand to gently roll his testicles in your palm. Do this in slow-mo for at least a few minutes.

Next, gently rub his penis with both hands as if rubbing a stick to make a fire, then gradually segue into a corkscrew motion, where one hand twists up while the other twists down.

Now concentrate on massaging his penis from top to bottom, covering the head and sliding your hands down to the base—one after another—in a fluid motion. "Do this for about 10 strokes and don't be surprised if he suddenly climaxes because this stroke makes him feel like he's inside a wet vagina," says Cadell. Me. Ow.

For Her
"On the female genitals, it's best to switch to a water-based lubricant because if oil gets inside the vagina, it can cause irritation," says Cadell. Make sure to warm the lube with your hands first before placing them in her vagina.  Nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm

Start by focusing on the vulva, which is the outside visible area of the vagina, says Cadell. Gently rub the lube around her vaginal lips all the way down to her anus.

Gently part her outer lips with both of your thumbs, caressing them in circular motions for at least two minutes. Slide your thumbs up and down her outer lips until they're spread apart, then do the same with her inner lips. "The inner lips are more sensitive, so use less pressure," says Cadell. "Watch for her body language and for the swelling of her vaginal lips, which is a natural progression when a woman gets aroused."

Finally, gently slide your thumb and forefinger up and down the sides of the clitoris for about 10 strokes. Massage the head of the clitoris in circular motions using your forefinger and thumb. "You may feel it growing as it becomes more excited, and with the clitoris containing about 8,000 nerve fibers, don't be surprised if she has a body-melting, earth-shattering orgasm," says Cadell. Game. Set. Match.

Source of the article:: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/how-to-give-happy-ending-massage

Sex is an important part of marriage couples need to make sex a priority. If they are too tired to have sex at night, do it in the morning

THREE BASIC ARTICLES FOR A COUPLE FOR A HAPPY MARIRIED LIFE

https://www.thenest.com/content/how-to-bring-back-heavy-petting

https://www.thenest.com/content/is-this-the-magic-number-for-how-often-a-couple-should-be-having-sex

https://www.thenest.com/content/how-to-give-a-massage

http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2018/03/why-men-want-sex-and-women-want-love.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_5288242_keep-relationship-exciting-new.html
Make love often. This is a tough one to do in a relationship because work, kids, and household chores don't always leave time and energy for sex with your partner. But, sex is important in a relationship and should be made a priority. Try making a plan to make love at least twice a week: once during the week and once on the weekend. Stick to this as best you can so that you and your partner know that when to expect intimacy. While this isn't always romantic, you can make it so by turning on some soft music, lighting candles, or taking a bubble bath together. Making love will keep you and your partner close and keep the relationship new and exciting. Without sex, a relationship becomes dull and partners become more like roommates than lovers. It's important to make sex a priority so that both partners feel a connection to one another. By making love at least twice a week, you'll keep the spark a live and help your relationship to become exciting and new again.

pls read http://www.speakingtree.in/slideshow/benefits-of-daily-sex/benefits-of-daily-sex

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Marriage-bad-for-your-sex-life/articleshow/7105662.cms

Researchers found that though, initially, couples can expect to have sex more than four times a week, after three years of life as man and wife, most couples are lucky to have sex just once every seven days.

In reality, sexual relationship is essential and a healthy part of a marriage. Sex needs commitment and connectivity and that is where most young people find themselves lacking the adequate energy or inclination," opines Dr Rajiv Anand, marriage counsellor. According to him, it is not the sexual act that loses novelty or attraction after marriage but the approach of the people involved. 

So what's the solution? "If it's a case of physical fatigue, couples should engage in scheduled sex. They must plan weekend getaways or make arrangements to leave the child with a babysitter or relatives and plan a night out where they could probably get home early from work and then just concentrate on spending time with each other. If it's an issue of emotional distancing, communication is the only solution. Couples need to talk things out with each other in a non-toxic way," says Dr Minnu. 

Dr Anjali Chhabria, psychiatrist and psychotherapist opines that it is more important to get down to the root cause of the issue than just search for quick fix solutions. "Sex is an important part of marriage and the lack of it could indicate issues in the marriage. A declining sex life is a symptom, it's just the tip of the iceberg. One needs to find answers to why there is no sex? Is it because there is no chemistry in the relationship or is there no relationship at all? Are the partners too tired or stressed out? Does one partner feel that she or he is no longer attractive to the other? Is one's spouseattracted to someone else? If it's just boredom, couples need to make sex a priority. If they are too tired to have sex at night, do it in the morning. If lack of privacy is the issue, couple need to make time for themselves. Most importantly, couples need to tell each other what they want. Your partner is not a magician to magically figure out your wants and needs," she explains. 

rachel.fernandes@timesgroup.com

6 amazing health benefits of sex in a loving relationship

Majority of relationship therapists will tell you that not having sex with your partner frequently enough (at least twice a week) will make either or both of you unhappy, frustrated, depressed. Research shows people who have intercourse (not masturbation) at least once or twice a week are better placed to live longer due to the companionship, happiness and pleasure they both bring.

One passionate sex session and all your problems are gone.

1.      Sex helps your heart: Having sex at least twice a week will heavily reduce your chances of having a heart attack and helps maintain a healthy heart.

2.     Sex relieves stress and tension: This is because the feel good hormones – endorphins and oxytocin – are released during sex.

3.     Sex relieves pain: Studies show that after you orgasm, the hormones released will actually help stop your pain; headaches or any other body pains.

4.     Sex makes you feel and look great: The more sex you have the more hormones like testosterone and estrogen are released into the body and this helps keep your body looking young and fresh. If you want softer skin and shiny hair, then estrogen is your answer.

5.     Sex helps you sleep better : A relaxed sex session, which results in an orgasm, will release the hormone prolactin. This is the hormone that is heavily linked to a good night sleep.

6.     Sex fights disease: People who have frequent sex have a higher level of an antibody called immunoglobulin A (IgA). According to research, these antibodies help combat diseases 

7.       SOURCE OF THE ARTICLLE : https://tuko.co.ke/149926-health-benefits-of-sex-6-ways-that-sex-in-a-loving-relationship-can-amazingly-improve-your-health.html

Proper SEX methods. 

The missionary position. Or man-on-top is said to be the position that's best for getting pregnant. This is because this particular position allows for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix. place her legs over your shoulders. This shortens her vaginal canal, so your penis feels bigger inside her.

Raise the hips. Elevating the hips, which can be done by placing a pillow behind her, can also be helpful because this exposes the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release. 

Orgasms. Finally, while this has nothing to do with sexual positions, there are also researches that suggest the importance of the female orgasm in conceiving. According to studies, female orgasm leads to contractions that could push sperm up into the cervix. The lesson: have fun while trying to conceive. 

Q: Is male infertility a serious threat?

A: It accounts for 40 per cent of all infertility, primarily due to sperm defects. Sometimes this is brought on by external factors like tight innerwear, very hot baths, smoking, exposure to radiation and toxic chemicals. Sometimes there's a physiological basis-diabetes, hypothyroidism or genetic aberrations.

Q: What about infertility in women?

A: I see many young women who show signs and symptoms of polycystic ovaries, a condition associated with metabolic disorders and obesity. From job pressure to vehicular pollution, postponing parenthood to sexual liberation, fast food to sedentary lifestyle, all have been linked to infertility.

Conception Timeline

A: woman's fertility peaks between age 27 and 34. That's the best time to have the first baby. The best time to get pregnant? Watch out for the narrow window of time during ovulation, two weeks into the menstrual cycle. The life of a human egg is about 36 hours, while a sperm can survive in a woman's body for about 48 hours.

30% more chances of conception every month if a couple engages in unprotected sex at least two times a week.

Myth : Daily sex increases chances of pregnancy

Reality : No it doesn't. It may, in fact, bring down sperm count on the day of ovulation.

Source: The Complete Guide to Becoming Pregnant. Dr. Firuza R. Parikh. Random House India. 2011

PLEASE READ THE FULL ARTICLE

Sexual foreplay-Tips to help arouse her

The truth of the matter is far more women receive erotic or sensual massages than the public is aware of.

This massage can focus on certain areas  like the breasts, lower abdomen, inner thighs near his/her private parts.

 Logically, anything that increases blood flow to the pelvis increases sensitivity, arousal.

First Back massage:"At first you're on your stomach, so they're just massaging your back, Lightly caress your S.O.'s neck, shoulders, arms, back, and buttocks with your fingertips  for at least five minutes.

Second Front Massage:" Then they turn you over. [My masseur] started massaging my breasts. My nipples got erect, so that must have sent him a signal. Nipple play is also important. "Nipple stimulation is processed in the same region of the brain as touch to the clitoris and penis, so lightly stimulating the area around the nipple (the areola) on both men and women can be very stimulating," says Laino. "It will increase blood flow to both the nipples and to the genital area. And don't forget the abs! This is a hot spot for both men and women—especially the area between the belly button and genitals, says Laino. "Massaging this area can make the pelvic floor muscles contract," she says. That sends blood flow straight to the genitals, she says. 

 He started rubbing me on the pressure points around my hips. Giving his or her inner thighs a rubdown. "The inner thighs, for ladies and gents, are very sensitive because they're so close to the genitals. He never actually touched my clitoris or vagina; it was just all around the area.  This guy was a master of temptation. He would get oh so close, closer... and then back away.

 My legs spread apart almost involuntarily as I waited for him to start the sexy part.

Ok, now that your S.O. is primed and ready, onto the good stuff:

For Him
Warm up some massage oil by rubbing it with both hands, then spread it all over his penis and testicles. Place one hand on the shaft of his penis, and start stroking it in an up and down motion, says Cadell. Meanwhile, use the other hand to gently roll his testicles in your palm. Do this in slow-mo for at least a few minutes.

Next, gently rub his penis with both hands as if rubbing a stick to make a fire, then gradually segue into a corkscrew motion, where one hand twists up while the other twists down.

Now concentrate on massaging his penis from top to bottom, covering the head and sliding your hands down to the base—one after another—in a fluid motion. "Do this for about 10 strokes and don't be surprised if he suddenly climaxes because this stroke makes him feel like he's inside a wet vagina," says Cadell. Me. Ow.

For Her
"On the female genitals, it's best to switch to a water-based lubricant because if oil gets inside the vagina, it can cause irritation," says Cadell. Make sure to warm the lube with your hands first before placing them in her vagina.  Nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm

Start by focusing on the vulva, which is the outside visible area of the vagina, says Cadell. Gently rub the lube around her vaginal lips all the way down to her anus.

Gently part her outer lips with both of your thumbs, caressing them in circular motions for at least two minutes. Slide your thumbs up and down her outer lips until they're spread apart, then do the same with her inner lips. "The inner lips are more sensitive, so use less pressure," says Cadell. "Watch for her body language and for the swelling of her vaginal lips, which is a natural progression when a woman gets aroused."

Finally, gently slide your thumb and forefinger up and down the sides of the clitoris for about 10 strokes. Massage the head of the clitoris in circular motions using your forefinger and thumb. "You may feel it growing as it becomes more excited, and with the clitoris containing about 8,000 nerve fibers, don't be surprised if she has a body-melting, earth-shattering orgasm," says Cadell. Game. Set. Match.

Source of the article:: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/how-to-give-happy-ending-massage

Clitoral massage http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/touch-her/slide/17

16 New Ways to Touch Her Vagina

1. OPEN HER HOOD.

There's a little flap of skin that covers her clitoris when she's not fully aroused—and it's begging to be played with. "The clitoral hood is actually an extension of the inner lips," says Fulbright. "It can be its own feel-good spot." Early on in your encounter—before she's gotten so turned on that her hood retracts—give the hot spot aon her vagina a little love: Trace her inner labia upwards until you find the fold just above her clitoris, and stroke it with your fingertips, making sure your digits are sufficiently slick with lube. When she's ready for direct clitoral contact, "you can use your thumb to push that skin up a little bit toward her belly button," says Brandon. 

2. FIND HER G-SPOT.

When it comes to G-spot stimulation, most guys know one classic technique: Insert a finger inside her vagina, palm up, and use a come-hither movement to stimulate her. But what if that doesn't work? Don't give up your search for her hidden pleasure zone just yet. "The G-spot is not necessarily right in the middle of that front wall [of the vagina]," Fulbright says. "It might be a little more to one side or a little lower." Her advice: Using at least two fingers, massage as much of the region as you can comfortably reach—and make sure she's already wet before you work your way in. "If she's excited, the area is a little raised and rough," says Fulbright. "If she's not aroused enough, it's going to be almost impossible to find."

3. CUP HER VAGINA.

Her outer labia may not be as sensitive as the rest of her lady parts—and that means it's a prime place to start when you're warming her up for an orgasm. When you're making out, slip a hand down south and simply cup her vagina, pressing lightly. "This starts the blood flow and begins the process of arousal," says Brandon. "It's a gentle way to bring her into the experience."
 

4. PLAY ON HER MOUND.

First, an anatomy lesson: Atop her pubic bone, there's a mound of fatty tissue where her pubic hair grows called the mons pubis. "When you play with the mons pubis, you can indirectly stimulate the clitoris," says Fulbright. To wake up the region, use the heel of your hand to press downward on the mound, in the direction of her clitoris.

5. GIVE HER A MASSAGE.

Before you part the outer lips of her vagina, give them a little attention. "Touching the outer labia isn't going to stimulate the clitoris in the same way the inner lips do, because they're not connected," says Fulbright. That said, taking your time before touching her clit can do wonders for her arousal—so press her labia majora between your thumb and index finger, rubbing back and forth with a gentle massaging motion, then gently tug her lips upward. If she doesn't shave, you can even lightly pull at her pubic hair, Fulbright suggests.

6. CIRCLE HER HOT SPOT.

As tempting as it is to race to her clitoris, tease her a little before touching down. First, apply a little lube—hint: simply dip a digit into her vagina—to the padded part of your finger, and circle her clitoris, applying a firm, consistent pressure. "The circling motion is one of the most popular with women during masturbation," says Fulbright.

7. CARESS HER CERVIX.

If your girlfriend prefers deep penetration, she probably enjoys the sensation of cervical contact—and your penis isn't the only part of your body that can reach it. "When she's excited, the cervix does pull back some," says Brandon. "But the typical vagina is not that long." So insert your finger until you can't go any further, and gently massage her cervix, applying more pressure only if she responds with pleasure. "It can be really, really sensitive, so try it gently," Brandon warns.

8. RE-ANGLE HER BODY.

Stick with your standard way of stimulating her—the one that really gets her going—but switch up the position. "It will feel different because a woman's body is so supremely sensitive that these little shifts can be pretty dramatic to her," says Brandon. "She's also going to have a different emotional reaction to what you're doing." In other words, if she's normally lying on her back when you get her off with an orgasm, trying the same technique on all fours can feel more animalistic. So get creative: Have her lean against a wall, bend over the kitchen counter, or stand up straight—then execute the move she loves best.
 

9. STIMULATE HER VAGINAL OPENING.

Unless you're a high-school boy, you've learned by now that fingering a woman—just gliding in and out—doesn't do much for her. But that doesn't mean hands-off altogether: "Use two or three fingers to work your way in and out, but make sure you're not just going up and down—firmly rub against the lower vaginal canal," says Fulbright. You can even linger in the opening of her vagina, moving your fingers in a circular motion, without ever taking them out completely. "Most of the nerve endings are in the lower third of her vagina," says Brandon. "Women like to feel really full at the opening."
 

10. PLAY THE PIANO.

Place your index finger on one side of her clitoris, your middle finger on the other side, and pretend you're playing the piano, going back and forth, from side to side, suggests Fulbright. Rhythmic motions are typically the most pleasurable ones for women—and stimulating the sensitive skin next to her clitoris is an easy way to build arousal and anticipation for an orgasm, she says. Eventually, you can move one finger so it's on top of her clitoris itself for a more intense version of this move.

11. BE THE HORSE TO HER COWGIRL.

This trick gives whole new meaning to the cowgirl position: Have your partner sit on top of your inner arm, so her vulva is resting on your wrist and lower forearm. "Place your hand between her legs and cup her butt," says Fulbright. Then have her grind against your arm, and once she's established a rhythm, move your arm to match the pace and intensity she prefers. "You're able to touch a lot more surface area—it allows the whole area to come alive, instead of just one particular spot," she says. Plus, the vaginal stimulation tends to be less direct—and therefore more tolerable for super-sensitive gals.

12. SWEEP THE REGION.

When you're warming her up, graze your whole hand down the length of her vulva, using long, sweeping strokes. Keep it fleeting—don't worry about hitting all her nooks and crannies along the way. "If you're dipping inside, it's harder to make things rhythmic and smooth," says Fulbright. "There's one thing that women tell me gets them off: being rhythmic and consistent.

13. GET BOTH HANDS IN ON THE ACTION.

Use the thumb and index finger of one hand to spread her labia, and use your other hand to stimulate her clitoris, suggests Fulbright. Not only will opening her up give you better access to the pleasure zones of her vagina, it will make her feel a little vulnerable—which can be highly arousing.

14. KEEP HER PANTIES ON.

Yes, you're eager to strip her down, but leaving her panties on can add a little pleasurable friction to your touch. (It's also great for a woman who is highly sensitive and prefers more indirect contact.) The ideal scenario: She's wearing satin panties, not cotton, which will easily glide across her genitals as you stimulate her, says Fulbright. Once she's fully aroused, continue the action by pushing her panties aside, instead of removing them, Brandon suggests. "That has the high-school feel to it—'I'm doing something wrong because my clothes are still on,' " she says. Admit it: That's hot.

15. LET HER LEAD THE WAY.

Watching her masturbate is the ultimate way to learn what she likes—but that level of vulnerability can be pretty intimidating for some women. So put her hand on top of yours, and try this line: "Show me what you like, baby." "Do this in a sexy way—not an 'I'm confused, help me out,' kind of way," says Brandon. Let her guide your hand—and be sure to make mental notes along the way to her orgasm.

16. HIT HER CLITORIS FROM ALL SIDES.

The classic side-to-side, up-and-down stimulation is undeniably awesome—and an almost surefire way to make her climax with an orgasm. But that's really only hitting a portion of her clitoris. Brandon suggests lightly pinching it, then rubbing it in a circular motion between your fingers, as if you were wadding up a piece of gum. That way, you're touching her hot spot from all angles, while also applying pressure. It's the recipe for an amazing orgasm.

WHAT YOUR WIFE WANT FROM YOU IN BEDROOM.

Men, to experience and share great sex with your wife, be sure to use some of these sexual foreplay tips. There is an art to foreplay. Don’t just grab and squeeze, or head straight for her privates.

Foreplay is not about...

1.             Kissing

2.             Breasts and

3.             Intercourse .... all in five minutes!

In actuality, foreplay is really about courting and wooing your wife’s sensual responses and sexual arousal.

Before we get into the tips and suggestions, let’s review the all important basics of foreplay:

1.             Foreplay is part of the preparation phase of lovemaking.

2.             Foreplay is focusing on helping your wife come to sexual arousal.

3.             Foreplay must not be rushed. Spend at least 20 to 30 minutes on foreplay.

Okay, let’s get to the “mechanics”of foreplay…

Sexual Foreplay Tips to Use BEFORE You’re in the Bedroom

·                     kiss her gently in public

·                     touch her face and stroke her hair

·                     tell her you love her

·                     hold hands or put your arm around her in public

·                     tell her she’s beautiful

Tips to Use When WARMING UP!

·                     slowly start undressing her

·                     give her tender kisses on the lips

·                     gently stroke her face

·                     take time to give her a full body or shoulder massage

·                     gently caress all parts of her body (not just the typical “sexual” parts)

·                     whisper and tell her how beautiful she is and how good she feels

·                     kiss her softly all over her body

·                     interlace your fingers with hers

·                     caress her tummy (don’t tickle though!)

·                     touch and fondle her

·                     keep talking about how much you love her (unless you’re kissing)

·                     try to discover new touch points on her body that are sensitive and bring sexual arousal

·                     keep looking at her

Foreplay Tips to Use as Things GET HOT!

·                     begin more passionate kissing (don’t underestimate this tip!)

·                     start faster stroking and caressing of her body

·                     include full body embracing

·                     start oral stimulation such as licking and sucking

·                     begin to caress her inner thighs

·                     continue telling her all the ways you think she’s gorgeous and how much she excites you

·                     squeeze and stroke her body

FINAL Sexual Foreplay Tips

·                     move your hands from the top of her body all the way down until they reach between her legs

·                     listen to your wife’s verbal cues… is she feeling discomfort or pleasure?

·                     use lubricant to begin stroking her vagina and clitoris

·                     gently massage her outer vaginal lips

·                     pay attention to your wife’s body language; is she beginning to respond?

·                     ask your wife to tell you what feels good to her

·                     reach up to her breasts

·                     kiss her passionately all over her body

·                     massage her inner thighs

·                     stimulate her clitoris until she lets you know she’s ready for intercourse or ready to orgasm

·                     don’t forget to keep talking to her; tell her how much you enjoy her body

Using these foreplay ideas will bring great benefits to you and your wife’s sexual relationship including:

·                     increased awareness of your wife’s body and how she responds

·                     great orgasm experience for both you and her

·                     closer emotional intimacy as you focus on your wife’s sexual needs

So, remember:

1.             Start Slow and Gentle

2.             Speak Lovingly

3.             Don’t Rush

4.             Use Lubricant

5.             Better Discover How She Responds

ITS ALL ABOUT HER CLITORIS.READ ALL THE FOLLOWING ARTICLES ON CLITORIS.

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/touch-her/slide/17

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/clit-101

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/13-things-you-should-do-to-her-clitoris?cid=socSW_20150719_49247936&adbid=10155774378390207&adbpl=fb&adbpr=56916320206

http://www.chacha.com/gallery/2303/what-are-some-vajayjay-fun-facts

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/clitoris-facts?cid=soc_Men%27s%20Health%20-%20MensHealth_FBPAGE_Men%27s%20Health__

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/how-to-touch-her-clitoris?cid=soc_Men%27s%20Health%20-%20MensHealth_FBPAGE_Men%27s%20Health__

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/clit-101

How to make love to your wife in islam and Science.

http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2016/03/how-to-make-love-to-your-wife-in-islam.html 

The above article is collected from the following resources

1. http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2013/10/women-need-foreplay-do-husbands-understand/

2.http://www.yourtango.com/experts/sean-jameson/foreplay-tips

3.http://www.idiva.com/photogallery-relationships/25-foreplay-ideas-your-man-will-love/12463

4.http://www.examiner.com/article/what-women-want-the-best-foreplay-for-women

5.http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/10-moves-she-wants-you-make-during-foreplay

6.http://www.theproblemismen.com/rants/what-women-really-want-in-the-bedroom

7.http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=670

8.http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/sex/advice/a5046/get-more-foreplay/

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/LIFE-STYLE/Relationships/Man-Woman/Sex-guide-according-to-your-age/moviereview/4807102.cms

20-something 
Most guys just can't stop dreaming about sex every couple of hours. At this age, girls are usually rebellious in their sexual imaginations. They share same-sex fantasies or want to try out bi-sexuality. A 2006 study of nearly 2000 people discovered that 76 per cent of women who slept with women reached orgasm (for women with men, the figure stands at 50 per cent).
The 20s are the time when young boys and girls are most experimental in their sexual positions. One in 10 people claims Tracey Cox have had a threesome in their early twenties.

Also, people in this age group have most likely visited a strip joint or a lapdancing club - with their friends or their better half.

30 something 
The 30s are a time to experiment, almost all 30-somethings claim to have had sex outdoors. Unlike the teens when making out was the most common form of sexual experimentation, most 30 somethings prefer having sex somewhere semi-public like the beach, in the garden or on a park bench in the darkness. There's something wildly erotic about these sexapades! Also, high on the 30 something popularity chart are having sex in the shower or in the bath tub.

Kinky pleasures also rate high as most 30 plus couples claim to be giving in to their fantasies of bondage, blindfolds and spanking on a weekend of debauchery.
This is also the time when women are most likely to befriend gay male pals. Straight women love gay men; gay men love straight women. Swedish research is confirming just why the two groups get along so famously - they both have symmetrical brains. Straight men and lesbians have asymmetrical brain hemispheres.

The 30s also mark the arrival of children in a married couple's life, so the sex drive naturally dwindles. But, Cox points out that during pregnancy, couples have sex four to five times a month. Most put the brakes on their sex lives for about seven weeks after delivery, but four months later are back to four or five times of sex a month. Cox says six months after delivery, the average couple goes back to having sex three to five times a month. But incase you don't fit the bill, remember getting disheartened ain't gonna help. Remember it's just a temporary period, so continue touching and cuddling and if your baby robs you of chances to have sex, indulge in quickies.

Most women says Cox in her book experience higher orgasm rates. Ninety per cent of women past 30 regularly experience orgasm, compared to just 23 per cent of younger women.

40 something 
Men in their 40s are more likely to experience erection problems. Also, this is the age when maximum number of men tend to be unfaithful. Also, men are more compelled in their 40s to watch more porn or indulge in sex chats. Women on the other hand get sexually very demanding, often being attracted to younger men.

If you thought the 40s were about low libido, think again, while 40-somethings maybe having less sex than ever, the thrust has shifted from how many times in a week to an emphasis on better quality. You are more sure of your sexual needs in this age group and thus more likely to insist on passion play as opposed to a mere making out session.

Read more: http://saleemindia.blogspot.com/2009/07/sex-guide-according-to-your-age.html#ixzz5R5LNb5BI
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution