Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye jo tumahra opeartion hai who mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye yeh mala, nahi to tumhare liye.
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Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)
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I think so there will be only one sport this year in CWG 2010... swimming.... since Delhi is flooded
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Ajeet thoroughly disgusted with Mona darrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
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One night, Banta was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Banta and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Banta put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground.
The thief then went through Banta's pockets and searched him, All the thief could find on Banta was 25 cents.
The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Banta why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.
"Was that all you wanted?" Banta replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in me shoe!"
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1. Only in Britain......do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well.
"Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
2. During Britain's "brain drain," not a single politician left the country.
3. Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue.
4. Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.
5. Nobody can fix the economy.
Nobody can be trusted with their finger on the button.
Nobody's perfect.
Vote for Nobody.
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At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country house caretaker"
"Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died"
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?"
"That's the one."
"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat."
"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"
"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr. Arnaldo?"
"Why, those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire."
"What the.....!!! But theres electricity at the house!!!!
What was the candle for???"
"For the funeral."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!"
"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her."