HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

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HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE---FOUR SIMPLE TIPS

TIP ONE : DAILY TALK WITH EACH OTHER ATLEAST FOR 10-15 MINUTES. It is VERY IMPORTANT TO BE ALONE TOGETHER AWAY FROM ALL OTHERS INCLUDING CHILDREN.YOU CAN TAKE TEA TOGETHER WHILE TALKING .
TIP TWO: LOOK AT HIS/HER PLUS POINTS. WE ALL HAVE NEGATIVE POINTS. DONT TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE POINTS.
TIP THREE: DONT FIGHT, FIRST COOL OFF. THAN TALK AND TRY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. THERE IS NO EGO BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE. SO IF YOU ARE WRONG, IMMEDIATELY ASK FORGIVENESS.
TIP FOUR: GIVE A HUG TO HER. SHE NEEDS YOUR LOVE AND CARE. GIVE HER A BODY MASSAGE.

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Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) said
“This world is a prison for the believers and paradise for the disbelievers “

My Dear Brothers/ Sisters, a happy forever comes only in Walt Disney Movies. Our life ain’t a movie , it’s called reality and reality is very different .

Life comprises of ups and downs . Marriages is about holding on together even during tough times. A financial or emotional trouble shouldn’t rip you guys apart. Shaitan is waiting to strike at the right moment, but you shouldn’t budge.

Know that spouses should aim for the ultimate victory- jannah and help each other become better Muslims everyday and stand successful on the day of judgement in shaa allah.

ALWAYS REMEMBER WHO IS OUR MAIN ENEMY, ITS SHAITAN.

Shaitan wants to separate couples by creating dispute. Both husband and wife will be attracted to do haraam things on the whisperings of the shaitan. Because halal never interests shaitan ,so now he tries to break and rip you guys apart... He will be most pleased when a husband and wife fights and finally are separated.If you have done such mistakes repent , Allah (SWT) is most forgiving and may he guide you and put barakah in your wedding.Know that shaytan will pass waswas(whispers) and he will try to make a mountain out of a molehill for no reason.

STEP ONE: TALK TO EACH OTHER. One of the Biggest qualities, that makes us human is our tolerance. If we can’t tolerate , then we are no different than animals.  That’s what the prophet (SAW) advised us to not get angry . Even during a instance when the young man approached the prophet (SAW) for advise, the only advise he was given was not to get angry. Don’t take permanent decisions based on temporary feelings. If there is something that’s bothering you sit and discuss it with your spouse in shaa allah. Know that communication is the key to marriage. Concealing and building resentments over time which might lead to divorce at one point is the worst thing that you can do to your relationship.

STEP TWO: TAKE HELP OF FAMILY MEMBERS TO SORT OUT THINGS

STEP THREE: GO TO A DOCTOR FOR COUNSELLING.

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One thing about Shaitan that every Muslim must know is that, he is very patient and very clever. He conquers you at the time when you are most feeble. When he sees a boy and a girl who are not halal for each other, alone and together, he becomes the third person who is present in the room . That’s what the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."

The devil tries to provoke their desires and tries to make them feel that the other one present with them is the most handsome or the most beautiful. He tries to bring you both together and he works hard to ensure that you commit one of the Major Sins in Islam that is Zina . He desires to make you disobedient to Allah (SWT).

Everything about the other person who is a non mahram and not halal for you, will look so beautiful before marriage because shaitan is there beautifying it for you.

What they get married and become halal for each other, shaitan is not interested in you guys anymore, because halal never interests shaitan ,so now he tries to break and rip you guys apart.

That is why we have many sisters/brothers complaining that “This is not the person that I used to know before marriage”. I say yes, all their ugly qualities are beautified by shaitan before marriage . Now that he is no longer in the equation, ugly things look as they are.

Fights and disputes start coming into marriage .This is because the foundation to the building called “marriage” was not done based on the shariah but rather on cheap desires created by the shaitan.
If you have done such mistakes repent , Allah (SWT) is most forgiving and may he guide you and put barakah in your wedding.

One of the Biggest qualities, that makes us human is our tolerance. If we can’t tolerate , then we are no different than animals. When tolerance is not there, then divorce can be even as a result of a fight where the husband might have instructed the wife to cook a certain dish. Shaitan tried to provoke you and hells breaks loose, a world war starts, the end of which will be divorce. Know that shaytan will pass waswas(whispers) and he will try to make a mountain out of a molehill for no reason.

This is how silly some divorces can be and how shaitan wants to separate couples. He will be most pleased when a husband and wife are separated. If couples had a little bit tolerance and understanding towards each other, many divorces won’t take place . If they just take a moment , to think and comprehend for themselves, if the act commited was so severe that the penalty and it’s justice lies only in divorce? We will understand that sometimes, it was just shaitan and it wasn’t even worth a quarrel at the first place.

That’s what the prophet (SAW) advised us to not get angry . Even during a instance when the young man approached the prophet (SAW) for advise, the only advise he was given was not to get angry. Don’t take permanent decisions based on temporary feelings. If there is something that’s bothering you sit and discuss it with your spouse in shaa allah. Know that communication is the key to marriage. Concealing and building resentments over time which might lead to divorce at one point is the worst thing that you can do to your relationship.

Many Couples who I counsel to are in a rush. Some of them, neither they let us know the reason for divorce nor ask us if it’s reasonable to part ways. They just want me to tell them to carry on with the divorce proceedings and they think things will turn better after that in shaa allah and they will have a happy life.

Well, think again, that’s not going to happen for many of them. There’s an ugly side to it and this becomes clear only after divorce. Some of them, they have children and they now get the status of a divorcee. The chances and hopes that a divorcee gets married is very much less nowadays, as compared to a man/ women who has not yet been married.

My Dear Brothers/ Sisters, a happy forever comes only in Walt Disney Movies. Our life ain’t a movie , it’s called reality and reality is very different .

Life comprises of ups and downs . Marriages is about holding on together even during tough times. A financial or emotional trouble shouldn’t rip you guys apart. Shaitan is waiting to strike at the right moment, but you shouldn’t budge.

Know that spouses should aim for the ultimate victory- jannah and help each other become better Muslims everyday and stand successful on the day of judgement in shaa allah.

I humbly request you to think twice before you make a choice, as decisions made in rush usually results in regret. Know that ur child can suffer the most in a divorce. The reason is, you brought the cruel world out there, inside your home in which is their living. It leads them to depression and affects them psychologically at a very young age. Home is a place where love is like air, if you turn it otherwise it makes ur kid’s life miserable and leaves them in a sense of insecurity for the rest of their life.

I am not saying , that you should stay in oppressive marriages. If you are going through physical abuse every single day or anything of the sort that’s unbearable, then in shaa allah , let someone who can help you , know about it . It can an a family member of the husband/ wife as the case maybe , your family members to sort it out . But if situation is not improving and you are getting psychically , then it’s better that you , that you divorce the person rather than staying in that abusive environment . Maybe Allah (SWT) wanted to direct you to a better spouse . Allah knows best . It’s important you keep your tawakkal (Trust) in him and move on for the better of your life .

I pray that Allah (SWT) guides you and grants you happiness. If you do have any queries or need counseling you may inbox me.

May Allah (SWT) grant happiness in our lives and in our homes and may he help our spouses be a source of comfort at all times and especially in times of need. May Allah(SWT) make our marriage a blessing for us and not a trial for us. This is a dua that , I urge everyone to make in their prayer

“Make my spouse and my children a blessing and not a trail “ .

Ameen

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