1/7/05 Pizza anyone?

 

----- Original Message -----

From: JEBEEN@aol.com

To: saleemasraf@yahoo.com

Sent: Saturday, January 08, 2005 10:24 AM

Subject: 1/7/05 Pizza anyone?

This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is...

 

 

      Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national

      ID number?

      Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

      Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

      Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

      6102049998-45-54610.

      Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland

      Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at

      Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cellphone number is 031

      266-2566. Email addresses are

      sea2fd.sea2@hotmail and sheehan@home.net. Which number are you

      calling from sir?

      Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?

      Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

      Customer: The HSS, what is that?

      Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This

      will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

      Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your

      All-Meat Special pizzas.

      Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

      Customer: Whaddya mean?

      Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that

      you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.

      Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy

      choice.

      Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

      Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll

      like it.

      Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

      Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet SoybeanRecipes' from your

      local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

      Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

      Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four

      kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is

      $49.99.

      Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

      Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.

      Your credit card balance is over its limit.

      Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your

      driver gets here.

      Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your cheque account is

      overdrawn also.

      Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.

      How long will it take?

      Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45

      minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while

      you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a

      motorcycle can be a little awkward.

      Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?

      Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so

      your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled

      the tank yesterday.

      Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

      Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got

      a July 4, 2003 conviction for swearing at a cop and another one I see

      here in September for contempt at your hearing for swearing at a

      judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in

      the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your

      return.

      Customer: (speechless)

      Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

      Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 litre of Coke.

      Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us

      from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits

      this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut