The Old Man

The Old Man

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the
car and started it up.

After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window
and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's
an old ghost's face there!"

The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window.

The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his
wits, said, "What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"

The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it,"
to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.

The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the
speedometer says we're doing 80 now."

All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old
man reappeared. "There he is again," the passenger yelled.

He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.

The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they
had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more
tapping.

"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and
screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"

The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the
mud?"

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Gods e mail

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.  So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are good.
   
" God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had  better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good." God was not pleased.
 
So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good,  because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help them keep going.
   
Do you know what the E-mail said?   No?  Just wondering, I didn't get one either........ 

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My teenager, Mike, was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.

"I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the other guys at school started."

Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented...

"I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you."

I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled Mike's hair.

"Yeah..." he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do."

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