On a flight to New York the flight attendant said to a lady sitting in first class, "Ma´am, I'm afraid you'll have to sit in the back since you have a coach ticket." The lady responded, "Listen, I'm a beautiful blonde, I'm going to NY, and I'm sitting in first class."
The two argued for a while but finally the flight attendant went and got the first officer - who came and said, "Ma´am, I'm afraid you'll have to move into the coach section since you have a coach ticket". To which she replied, "Listen, sir, I'm a beautiful blonde, I'm going to NY, and I'm sitting in first class."
After they argued for a while the first officer gave up and went to get the Captain who said, "I'll handle this. I'm married to a beautiful blonde." So - the Captain went right up to her, whispered in her ear, after which she got right up and moved into the coach section.
Both the flight attendant and first officer were shocked and asked the Captain - "I don't get it sir. What did you say to make her move back to coach." To which the Captain said, "Oh that was easy, I just told her first class wasn't going to NY!"
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There was once a blonde who hated her life and so she wanted to commit suicide. She decided the best place to do it would be in public. So she stood on the sidewalk for hours and hours. A man walks by and asks "why do you have that rope around your waist?" the blonde says, "I put it around my neck and I couldn't breath"
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Rude Jokes
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A. Hold on to your nuts this is no ordinary blowjob!
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