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Thursday, February 18, 2016

A Muslim Wife

ONE OF THE MOST READ COMPILATION IN THIS BLOG. PLEASE SHARE IT .



NOTE FROM COMPILER:

1.   THE INTENTION OF THIS POST IS TO SHARE INFORMATION FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL PEOPLE.PLEASE SHARE IT WITH YOUR RELATIVES AND FRIENDS.MAYBE IT WILL HELP SOMEBODY.ITS "SADAQA JAARIYAH" TO SPREAD KNOWLEDGE THAT HELPS OTHERS..
2.    ALL THE SOURCES OF INFORMATION ARE INDICATED SO THAT THE READERS CAN GO TO THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE TO READ HIMSELF/HERSELF .

What is sadaqa jaariyah ?
Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, 'The righteous works that continue to benefit a believer after his death (or sadaqa jaariyah) include the knowledge that he taught and spread among others, a righteous son whom he leaves behind, or a copy of the Qur'an that he bequeaths to his inheritors, or a mosque that he builds, or a rest house that he builds for the wayfarers, or a well/pond of water that he digs for the benefit of others, helping a child for his/her education, helping orphan, donating to school/dispensary/hospital, or planting trees. He will continue to receive reward for all these even after his death.'
Related by Ibn Majah. Muslim, and Abu Dawood.




Our wives belong to Allah and not our properties that we own the way we own cars and houses. Our wives are amaana, a trust for us to look after to gain Allah’s pleasure. Any man who doesn’t fulfil this trust doesn’t deserve a wife. You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you. 
Haleh Banani
She was a featured expert on Al-Jazeera international, Huda TV, Islamic Open University, Mercy Mission and Bayinnah TV.She does skype therapy sessions with people from around the world saving marriages
Read More About Her http://www.halehbanani.com/about-haleh-banani/


SURA AN NISA (THE WOMAN) VERSE 4:3 IN QURAN SAYS https://quran.com/4:3 


And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].

Also please read surah An-Nisa Verse No:129
Islam does not allow man and woman to sit in each others company without the presence of a Mahram because the third person is always shaitan.


From al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another report: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.” (Reported by al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)
 A woman may also look at a man if she wants to marry him, for she will like in him what he likes in her. What is permissible for him to look at is the face and hands, front and back. He should not look at anything else.”
Abu Haneefah permitted looking at the feet as well as the face and hands. (Bidaayah al-Mujtahid wa Nihayyat al-Muqtasid, 3/10)
the face indicates beauty or ugliness, and the hands indicate the slimness or plumpness (literally, ‘fertility’) of the body.
Al-Zayla’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “It is not permissible for him to touch her face or hands – even if is sure that this will not provoke desire – because she is still haraam for him.
Ibn Qudaamah said: “It is not permitted for him to be alone with her, because she is forbidden and Islam only allows him to look, thus khulwah (being alone with her) remains forbidden, and because there is no certainty that nothing forbidden will take place if he is alone with her, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘No man is alone with a woman, but the Shaytaan is the third one present.’ There must be an elder present with you during your meeting with your would be wife.
Khansa Bint Khidam said “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). He said to me “accept what your father has arranged.” I said “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.”
He said “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them). (Fathul Bari Sharah Al Bukhari 9/194, Ibn Majah Kitabun Nikah 1/602)
At first, the Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) told Al Khansa to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concerns of fathers for the well being of their daughters is well known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her in to marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has clearly stressed that the will of the father is the will of Allah (Bukhari) also how important it is to obtain the dua of one’s parents.
HOW TO GET MARRIED WITHIN FOUR MONTHS
This World is Darul Asbaab- a World of means. Some effort has to be made to find a suitable and compatible marriage partner. That is the responsibility of the elders of the family . recite abundant Salawaat everyday and make Du’aa with a positive heart.
If at any other times you wish to sit down and take the time to especially make this dua (for example at Tahajjud, before Maghrib prayers or at any other times). In this case the recommended way is (with or without wudu):
All you have to do on a daily basis is start reciting this verse from the Holy Quran:
Recite Bismillah
Recite Darud Shareef-
Recite Surah Fatihah
Rabbi inni lemaa anzalta elayya min khairin faqeer (Chapter 28, verse 24)


Finish with reciting  Durood Shareef


Verse 24 is the Supplication or "Du'a" that everyone needs to read, if not memorize. Whenever, you feel lonely and full of desire for a spouse, or feel the pain of not having a wife or husband, then start reading this dua. Read it standing, sitting, walking, laying, before prayers, after prayers and in any mode of your daily activities and as many times.
Insha Allah within 4-months you will see the doors open and Allah ta'ala will alleviate/remove your pain by providing you with a spouse. So, what you have to do is after you read this verse a number of times; make sure to ask Allah (God) in a way similar to what follows:

"Oh Allah! You have made every living thing in pairs. The sincere, beautiful and pious pair that you have created for me, please give it to me"
NOTE: When you ASK Allah ta'ala make sure you ask for a spouse that is pious, upright, honest, caring, loving, responsible and anything more as long as it is "jaiz" - not outside the circle of deen. For example, don't ask for a "clean shaved" husband or "a wife without hijaab".
I met my wife and married her after reading this verse of the Glorious Quran. Let meshare with  you the golden verse of the Noble Quran that holds the golden keys to getting married. 
It is recommended that one recites this verse at least 10times. Since, this is an ayat of the Quran it is not recommended by the Ulema (please check with askimam.org) women who have their period should avoid reciting this ayat of the Quran. www.bestmuslim.com
Saltul Hazat, how to perform
Whenever one is faced with any problem related to this world or the hereafter, be it a bodily affliction or a spiritual one i.e. desire to sin, one should perform two rakaats Salaatul Haajaat with the relevent du'as. Thereafter make du'a sincerely and repeatedly every day. Allah Ta’ala will create means of overcoming the problems from the unseen.
It is reported from Abdullah bin Abi Aufa () that Rasulullah  () is reported to have said that whomsoever has any need from Allah Ta’ala or any person then he should make wudu thoroughly. Thereafter he should perform two rakaats of salaah, read any  sura in the two  rakaats.
 After  finishing  salaat,recite sura  fatiha ten times and recite  darud on the Prophet ()  100  times and  than  pray for what  you  want from  Allah.
 More Information for our Girls and married woman

ALSO DO ISHTIKHARA to seek Allahs guidance. http://www.islameasy.org/pdf/BeautifulSunnats.pdf






 The Wedding of Imām °Alī (RA) and Haďrat Fāťima (RA)


 HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES
Zaynab Chinoy serves as Chief Editor and Head of the Research and Content Department at ProductiveMuslim. She read law at the International Islamic University in Malaysia, and publishes her reflections on life on her personal blog: ZaynabChinoy.com.

Every marriage is made up of two unique people of opposite genders. That’s why, what works for one couple may not necessarily work in your marriage, because you and your spouse are different people altogether with different preferences, priorities and circumstances. For this reason, generally accepted theories that may apply to many marriages may not apply to many others because different people are different. And happy Muslim couples have this figured out. It is extremely crucial for the health of your marriage that you sit down with your spouse and figure out what is important to them, and how they’ve always expected you to fulfill those needs for them.

If there is one fundamental need that exists in every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and appreciated. And there is no other relationship where this need is as grossly overlooked and abused, as in marriage. Why does this happen? Is it because humans tend to take things for granted, especially when they’re done by those closest to them?
our spouse has loved you for Allah’s sake every time they have:
·                                 stopped you from harboring suspicions or ill-will (about your boss or competitor or any other annoying person in your life)
·                                 stopped you from backbiting (about your friends, colleagues, in-laws (ahem))
·                                 helped you be more kind and gentle in your speech and manners (to helpers, waiters, laborers, siblings, elders and children)
·                                 helped you fulfill people’s trusts (by encouraging you to get to work on time and do the best at your job, to pay off your debts, to keep people’s secrets)
·                                 helped you be more honest with yourself or to others
·                                 helped you forgive someone and overlook their faults
·                                 helped you become more generous or less extravagant
·                                 helped you recognize and overcome the weaknesses of your inner self


What is not there to thank your spouse for? Here are 5 reasons to thank your spouse right now:
1.                              For providing you a roof to live under/for making a home out of your house
2.                              For buying you clothes to wear/for making sure you have clean clothes to wear everyday
3.                              For buying you the food you eat everyday/for making delicious meals for you everyday
4.                              For being there to take you where you need to go/for being there to take care of the house when you’re away
5.                              For coming back home to you every evening/for being the person you can come home to everyday
How many times have our egos stopped us from acknowledging and appreciating our spouses? How many times have we denied all the good they’ve done for us through a single word or sentence in the middle of a senseless argument? Every conflict left unresolved, every hurtful word exchanged and every baseless complaint is a refusal to value one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse. It is a denial of a favor Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has blessed us with

 Couples that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone. And as our beloved Aisha 
raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage. Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict.

 the truth is: both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction. When wives get snappy and say mean things to their spouses, husbands do feel hurt and unloved; and when husbands are rude and hurl insults at their spouses, wives do feel humiliated and disrespected. When a woman’s physical desires are consistently dismissed or left half-fulfilled, she feels as frustrated as a man in such situations does; and when a man never hears any words of appreciation or admiration, he feels as underappreciated and unvalued as a woman in these situations does.

 You are the only man/woman your spouse is allowed to look at from head to toe, so please don’t be an eye sore! Yes, make this your mantra. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as important (and as easy) as everything else you do everyday like eating or sleeping.

 Don’t stop your spouse from being kind and loving to their parents, don’t stop them from being helpful towards their colleagues and relatives, don’t make them cut ties that you know they should keep, don’t compel them to bottle up their talents when you know their skills can be used in a halal way to bring about a lot of good, don’t control their every relationship and acquaintance with other people like an air-traffic controller, don’t bark orders and rules and taunts at them at every opportunity: don’t make your spouse wither into a dull, lifeless, thorny, poisonous weed; because that is not what Allah 
subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) created them to be – that’s what control freaks make out of the people they live with.

 Make time for each other. there’s just no excuse not to give at least half an hour (okay, 15 minutes when you’re just too exhausted) of undivided attention and love to your spouse.

 Muslim couples today are actually serving their marriages on exquisitely decorated social media platters for the evil eye to devour: not just the ceremony, but every single verbal and non-verbal marital exchange, meal, meeting, moment, mood and micro-second!

 The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:
“The evil eye is real.” [Ibn Majah]
Not putting your marriage in the way of the evil eye is the first way of protecting it from its harm. Reading the morning and evening adhkar, the duas prescribed for protection against the evil eye as well as constantly thanking Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) for your marriage and your spouse fortifies this protection immensely.


Here’s how to protect your marriage from the shaytan: 
·                                 Read the mu’awwadhatayn (Surat Al-Falaq and Surat An-Nas) and morning and evening adhkar daily.
·                                 If your spouse is behaving in a way or saying things they normally don’t, politely say: “honey, let’s not let the shaytan get to us.” This is a tried and tested way to defuse a senseless argument before it starts.
·                                 If you find yourself starting to get angry, seek refuge in Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) from the shaytan immediately.
·                                 If you hear anything negative about your spouse from anyone, examine the words for signs of shaytan’s whispers and traps. If there’s anything that may cause you to have even the slightest ill-feeling or resentment towards your spouse, consciously recall all the good in your spouse and compare it to what’s being said about them: you’ll see the false/irrelevant claims quickly dissipating.

There isn’t a single marriage where there isn’t any conflict or disagreement of some sort or degree. It is only the way in which conflicts are managed that distinguishes the health of one marriage from the other.

 
APPRECIATE YOUR WIFE ALWAYS! 

You never know how much effort she exerts just to please you always! You never know how much she thinks of you whenever she is doing something special for you. So once again, appreciate your wife always as possible!.
She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me
and cleaning the dishes,cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.
Whom do you think works more, from the story above???The daily
routines of your wives commence fromearly morning to late night.
That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!
Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High
Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!


Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable.
This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand
and appreciate each others role.

A husband is the soulmate for his wife. He listens patiently when she's upset and holds her when she cries. He sometimes teases her affectionately. He is not just a lover, he is her best friend, someone she trusts unconditionally, someone she loves absolutely. Someone who can instantly put a smile on her face when she's having a bad day. Someone she can pray behind because there is nothing more romantic and more tender and more loving and more endearing than a married couple praying and making dua together. May Allah SWT bless all marriages! 
They'll be times when you'll get tired and they'll be times when you'll be in pain but your reward is with Allah. That is why a mother's status in Islam is so precious and hey fathers to be, a message for you guys too 😊 Make sure you look after your wives, massage their feet when they're tired, cook them dinner, help out around the house. Work as a team and watch Allah increase your love.


It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]
 al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you. 


The wife is financially independent from the husband. Islam has protected woman’s independent personality and ensured her full capability to be financially independent from her husband.  Muslim women have the right to earn money, own property, to enter into legal contracts and to manage all of her assets in any way she pleases. She can run her own business and no one has any claim on her earnings including her husband. The Quran states: "and in no wise covet those things in which Allah hath bestowed his gifts more freely on some of you than on others: to men is allotted what they earn and to woman what they earn: but ask Allah of his bounty for Allah hath full knowledge of all things." (4:32). The woman has the right to work provided that her work does not make her ignore her main job as a wife and a mother.  if she has the skills to work outside the home for the good of the community, she may do so as long as her family obligations are met. 

Lots of Muslim women worked in the time of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, some even fought with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in wars like Umm Umara, may Allah be pleased with her, who fought with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in the battle of Uhud. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was encouraging her during the fight and would tell her : “Who could endure what you endure Umm Umara”

During the time of Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, a lady, Al Shafa bint Abdullah Ibn abd-Shams, was assigned the position of official business transactor/manager of the market of Medina...

The husband is financially fully responsible for his wife. Poor or rich, her living costs are estimated in proportion to her husband's financial ability. The Qur'an puts it thus:" Let the rich man spend according to his means". (Surah 65:7).

He is obliged to provide her with food, clothes, a place to live and medical treatment according to his environment, conditions and income. Muslim scholars said that if a man does not support his wife financially then she has the right for a divorce.

The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.

Read https://www.al-islam.org/from-marriage-to-parenthood-heavenly-path-abbas-and-shaheen-merali/chapter-1-the-wedding-night


It is important that a wife recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. He is the head of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. But the husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness towards his wife. If there arises any disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. Spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.

12 Rights of a Muslim Wife upon Her Husband

1. To spend upon her, to feed her. Not to be excessive in this and not to be stingy.
2. To be kind to her. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.”
3. Not to harm her.
4. To be loving to her,
5. That the men must not curse or swear at his wife, or insult her appearance.
6. A man must not boycott her and if he does (for a valid reason) he should do it inside of the home.
7. A man should not expose the secrets of his wife “Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets.” [Muslim, Ibn Abee Shaybah, Ahmad and others].
8. A man should not hate his wife. Exalt the good and minimise her shortcomings. A man should not be angry at her faults and should look at her good. To look only good in her.
9. That he should make things easy upon her e.g. The chores and what he requires from her.
10. He should have the best manners with his wife. His wife should see the best of his manners. It is said that some men have the best manners out in the market , but when he goes home he is a ferocious lion! Kind to strange women in the markets but not to his wife in the home. The best of you are the best of you to your wives. There is no good in you if you want to help your friends but not your wife, there is no good in you if you are kind to your friends and not your wife. Combine the two , and that is good.
11. That the husband should be a reason for his wife to be saved from the hellfire. He should teach her and order her to forbid the evil and enjoy the good. Forbidding her from that which will lead to hell fire. O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed]angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.
12. That the man should have some type of jealousy for his wife. Jealousy of protecting her from evil, not for her to be exposed to strange men , not for her to speak to strange men etc. but not the abusive jealousy…




TAKING HUSBAND'S NAME AFTER MARRIAGE
How many of you are aware that it is Haraam for a woman (after marraige) to change her surname from her father to that of her husband?
Our Common Mistakes in Islam - Woman dropping her father's name and adopting husband's name after marriage! If taking husband's name is allowed in Islam. .Prophet Muhammad's (who was the best human being) wives would have kept his name after their names !
But still Aysha remained as Aysha bint Abu bukker. It is not permitted for anyone to claim to belong to anyone other than his father. 



Before any major decision, pray Salat-ul-Istikhara

What is Salat ul Istikhara?

Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 2, number 32 and volume 4, number 141.
Often, we have to make major life-changing decisions: whether to undertake a major project or not, whether to apply for a promotion or not, whether to change career or not, whether to invest in a certain company or not, whether to get married or not, whom to get married to, etc.
Istikhara (Arabic) means to ask Allah to guide one to the right thing concerning any affair in one’s life, especially when one has to choose between two permissible alternatives, e.g. a career choice, getting married, etc.  Similarly, a traveller should consult good righteous persons before setting out on a journey, because Allah says, “And consult them (O Prophet) in affairs (of moment),” (Qur’an, 3: 159) and one of the characteristics of the believers is that “they (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation” (Qur’an, 42: 38). Qatadah said, “Every people who seek the pleasure of Allah and consult with one another are guided to the best course in their affairs.” The traveller should also make istikharah and seek guidance from Allah.
Sa’ d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Istikharah (seeking guidance from Allah) is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah (seeking Allah’s guidance), and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the judgment of Allah.” Ibn Taimiyyah said, “He who seeks guidance from the Creator and consults the creatures will never regret it.”

How does one pray Salat ul Istikhara?

Salatul Istikharah is a sunnah of the Prophet (s).   It is a prayer that one may pray if one must choose between permissible alternatives: it is two non-obligatory rak’at (that can be recited separately or in combination with the regular sunnah prayers or the prayer for entering the mosque […] during any time of the day or night, and to recite therein whatever one wishes of the Qur’an after reciting al-Fatihah. After the two-rak’ats, one praises Allah and sends salutations to the Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam and recites the following supplication which has been recorded by al-Bukhari in Jabir’s hadith (see full text below): “The Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam would teach us al-istikhara for all of our affairs as he would teach us a surah from the Qur’an. He said: ‘If one of you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two non-obligatory rak’at and say:O Allah, I consult You as You are All-Knowing and I appeal to You to give me power as You are Omnipotent, I ask You for Your great favor, for You have power and I do not, and You know all of the hidden matters . O Allah ! If you know that this matter (then the person reciting the du’a should mention the matter for which he is seeking Allah’s Guidance) is good for me in my religion, my livelihood, and for my life in the Hereafter, (or he said: ‘for my present and future life,’) then make it (easy) for me. And if you know that this matter is not good for me in my religion, my livelihood and my life in the Hereafter, (or he said: ‘for my present and future life,’) then keep it away from me and take me away from it and choose what is good for me wherever it is and please me with it.”
The following hadith (referred above in Fiqh-us-Sunnah) is narrated by Jabir bin Abdullah about Salat-ul-Istikhara in Sahih Bukhari (volume 2, hadith number 263 and again volume 9, hadith 487):
The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to teach us the way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the right sort of action concerning any job or a deed), in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Quran. He said, “If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer)‘Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi’ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa asaluka min fadlika al-‘azim Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta’lamu Wala a’lamu, Wa anta ‘allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta’lam anna hadha-l-amra (then the person reciting the du’a should mention the matter for which he is seeking Allah’s Guidance)   Khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri (or ‘ajili amri wa’ajilihi) Faqdirhu li wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna hadha-lamra shar-run li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri (or fi’ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.
Istikhara3
Note from Rafik BeekunI have included the french, german and spanish translations of the above dua at the end of this post.
Similar hadiths were reported by Jabir (r) in Sahih Bukhari (volume 8, hadith number 391).
Note from Rafik Beekun: If you have trouble with the arabic version of the dua for Istikhara, here is a dua video where the dua is being recited in arabic.  Both the arabic version of the du’a, its english transliteration, and translation are included. Please use it to practice reciting the dua correctly before praying Salat Istihara:

Salat ul Istikhara: Prayer for consultation



Memorizer for the du’a for Salat ul Istikhara



If you cannot view the above video clip, please click here to hear the MP3 version of it.
To summarize,  here is how you pray Salat-ul-Istikhara step-by step:
  • Perform Wudu (the ablution) if you do not have it already.
  • Pray 2 raka’at either with the intention of praying Istikhara separately by itself  or jointly with  two non-obligatory rak’at (e.g. the regular sunnah prayers or the prayer for entering the mosque, or tahajjud.) Please make sure that you are not praying during the three times when it is undesirable to pray [The Prophet (s) said:   “There is no prayer after the Fajr until the sun (sufficiently) rises; and there is no prayer after the ‘Asr until the sun completely sets.” [Muslim, 1041, agreed upon].  Again, in another hadith reported in Muslim 1040, it is narrated: “ Three were the times at while Allah’s Messenger ( ) forbade us from praying or burying our dead (ie. funeral prayer): when the sun begins to rise until it is fully up; when the sun is at its height until it passes the meridian; and when the sun begins to set until it is completely set. [Muslim, 1040]”  Please note if istikhaarah is done for something that is immediate and cannot be delayed, then this prayer may be performed at a time when prayer is not allowed, such as if a person wants to travel after ‘Asr prayer. But if the matter is not immediate and the prayer can be delayed until after the time (see fatwah below)
  • Immediately after you have completed the 2 rakats, recite the abovementioned Istikhara Dua highlighted in yellow and mention the matter for which you are seeking Allah’s Guidance you have at the appropriate point in the du’a (indicated in red in the du’a above and also indicated in the video clips above).
  • Follow An Nawawi’s advice on how to interpret Allah’s guidance (please see section below).

What happens after one prays Salat ul Istikhara?
An-Nawawi holds that “after performing the istikharah, a person must do what he is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and should not insist on doing what he had desired to do before making the istikharah. And if his feelings change, he should leave what he had intended to do, otherwise he is not completely leaving the choice to Allah, and would not be honest in seeking aid from Allah’s power and knowledge. Sincerity in seeking Allah’s choice, means that one should completely leave what he himself had desired or determined.” [Note from Br. Rafik Beekun: Please view the video on “Istikhara and Marriage” at the bottom of this web page where the Sheikh elaborates on the different ways in which your prayer will be answered, Insha Allah}
It is not necessary that you get a dream or even a “feeling.” Rather, the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.
Please remember that the core of being a Muslim is to put your absolute trust in Allah.  Accordingly, once you perform the prayer of Istikharak, you need to follow the guidance of Allah whether it means pursuing or abandoning the intended undertaking. Allah also says:
And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is ((Allah)) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.” (Qur’an 65:3)

How many times can one pray Salat ul Istikhara?

As stated above, there is no limit on the number of times you can pray Salat ul Istikhara . though the fuqaha mention that it is recommend to repeat it, up to 7 times if necessary (usually done on separate occasions). [cf: Radd al-Muhtar]

Salat Istikhara and Marriage

Sunni Path Academy
Clip from SunniPath Answers Live event. This answer addresses the issue of how to pray Salat al-Istikhara, particularly in relation to marriage. Answered by Shaykh Hamza Karamali

Divine GPS: The Inner Dimensions of Salat Istikhara

This 39 minute lecture is by Imam AbdulBary Yahya. He was born in Vietnam during the Vietnam War, and very soon thereafter immigrated to the U.S. with his family. He grew up in Seattle, WA and after completing his primary and secondary education there, began his studies at the Islamic University of Madinah. It was at the University that he befriended Muhammad Alshareef, as they sat next to each other in the first year of their studies.
Upon graduation from the Islamic University of Madinah’s College of Shariah, AbdulBary Yahya returned to Vietnam and Cambodia and became a teacher and director of the Revival of Islamic Heritage Society in Cambodia and the Umm al-Qura Charity Organization in Vietnam.
He presently resides in Seattle, WA with his family, and is an instructor with AlMaghrib Institute, an organization that provides trademark double-weekend seminars leading students towards a bachelor’s degree in Islamic Studies. He is currently the Imam (spiritual leader and adviser) of Masjid Jaamiul Muslimeen in Seattle, WA. He also holds the positions of President of the Cham Refugee Community and Vice-President of the Islamic Center of Washington State.


Muslim woman can become a doctor or a teacher or study,there is no proof against it

http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2016/02/muslim-woman-can-become-doctor-or.html

Economic Independence and Education of Muslim Girls...www.jannah.org


Women Praying at the Mosque?


MUSLIM NIKAH



WOMANS DRESS IN PUBLIC IN ISLAM Hijab, khimar, jilbab ,niqab, chador, burqa




The Islamic Naming System By Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips


http://saleemindia.blogspot.in/2016/02/the-islamic-naming-system-by-dr-abu.html

How to make love to your wife in islam and Science.

 

NOTE: I REMOVED MANY PARTS TO MAKE THIS MANUAL SMALL. YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE FULL MANUAL FROM ITS WEB SITE IN PDF. THE CONTENT BELOW GIVES THE IDEA OF THE FULL BOOK.

SUMMERY:

A Husband and wife is allowed to do everything in islam that is halaal. Three things are haraam in islam.

1.      Anal sex, 2. Sex during mense 3. Sex outside marriage.

 

The Muslimah Sex Manual

A Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex

Contents:

Acknowledgements Ready

Introduction Who this for? Myth Anatomy Body Image

Genital hygiene Birth control Lube

Kegels Sexting Dirty talk

Flirting with other men First time

Kissing Handjobs

How to give a blowjob Massage

Stripping Positions

What to say during sex How to be a freak in bed Dressing up

Dry humping Breast sex

Femoral sex Quickie Shower sex Rough sex Forced sex BDSM

Public sex Anal play Threesome Simple things

Ready?

 Let me warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. I’m going to talk about things that you would never bring up in conversation. I will teach you how to make your husband look at you with unbridled lust. You will find your husband transformed into a man who can’t keep his hands off of you and brims with jealousy when other men so much as glance at you.

If you’re unprepared for that, put this book away. If not, let’s begin.

Introduction

Two years ago, I was congratulating a young Muslimah on her engagement. She had grown up in my community and I had known her since before she could talk. I had seen her blossom from a waddling toddler into a confident and

intelligent young woman. She began looking for a husband in her last year of college, wanting to get married before starting medical school. After multiple dead-ends, she had finally found a man who met all her criteria for marriage. Everything about this guy was perfect. He was religious, good looking, volunteered at the masjid, had a stable job, was known for his kindness to youngsters at the masjid, and was loved by the elders like he was their own nephew. It was a perfect match. She was thrilled about starting married life and you could see the happiness emanating from her as everyone gave her their best wishes.

A few months later, I ran into her at a dinner party and asked how marriage life was suiting her. She simply said it was “Fine”, but I could tell something was wrong.

After some cajoling, she shamefully admitted the truth. Her sex life was horrible. In fact, it was fast becoming non-existent. She had been a model Muslimah her entire life. Before marriage, she had never so much as held a non-mahrams hand, let alone become physically intimate with one. She had eagerly looked forward to marriage as a chance to finally indulge in all the physical intimacy she had postponed for the sake of Allah.

But it wasnt working.

Coming from the medical field, she knew all the relevant biology. She could draw and label all the parts of male and female anatomy. She had taken fiqh classes and knew the legal rulings of menstruation and intercourse.

But she didnt know sex.

Oh, she knew the mechanics. Insert penis into vagina. Climax. Withdraw. But she didnt know how to make her husband yearn for her in bed. She didnt know what he liked. She didnt even know what she liked! They had begun eagerly but after a few weeks, realized that neither of them was truly enjoying

having sex with each other.

As I talked more to her, I found out that she had never orgasmed during sex. Not once in the six months she’d been married. She shyly confessed to me that she had been masturbating since high school and was afraid that she had ruined her body doing it. She thought maybe she had


conditioned herself to only enjoy self-pleasure.

She couldn’t look me in the eyes as she asked if that was the reason why she couldn’t orgasm with her husband.

And so began my impromptu sex skills workshop. I threw at her all the information I’d gathered over years of marriage. Things I’d learned from experience, tidbits I’d gleaned from friends, tips I’d picked up from magazine articles. One thing here, two things there. All those bits had accumulated into a very healthy and robust sex life between my husband and I. I gave her everything, fervently hoping that it would help her in her marital life.

A month later, I saw her again. This time she had a gigantic smile on her face. “Please, write this down and share it with other Muslim girls. No one teaches this. We’re thrown into marriage and only know the fiqh and the biology.”

I wrote down everything I told her on a Word document and emailed it to her. She shared it with her friends who were newly married. They shared it with their friends. Before long, word trickled back to me that people were asking me to write a book on the subject.


So here it is.

Perhaps you’re getting married soon and are apprehensive about sex. Maybe you’ve been married for a few years and your bedroom life has become dull. Or maybe you’re already in a raunchy, fulfilling sexual relationship with your husband and are looking for something extra to spice it up.

This book is for all of you.

As a necessary disclaimer, this book is only for people who intend to use the information in the book for their marriage. I free myself from anyone who uses this book to help them have premarital or extramarital sex. This book is written by a religious, practicing Muslim for other religious, practicing Muslims. I do not agree with the liberal mentality that “sex is just an action” and that consent is the only thing which determines right or wrong. Right and wrong are determined by the Qur’an and Sunnah and any action which contravenes Divine scripture is, by definition, wrong. My book is written to enhance marital joy and pleasure. It is written to make fulfilling marriages and to increase happiness between a husband and his wife. If you use it for something other than that,


I leave your punishment to Allah.

I do not claim to be a scholar and refrain from passing any fatawa in this book. However, this book is written for orthodox, practicing Muslims, and so I have purposefully ignored things which are considered unanimously haram. You will not find instructions on how to enjoy anal sex or suggestions to watch pornography with your husband.

The fiqh methodology of this book does not exclusively follow any specific madhab. Where I deemed necessary, I have inserted scholarly rulings from scholars I trust. I have not done this for every single issue in order to avoid making this a fiqh manual. If you are skeptical about the permissibility of anything in this book, you should consult a scholar you trust.

Before I begin the actual book, here are five of the most common myths about Muslims and sex. Beat these myths out of your head before beginning.

Myth 1: A pure Muslim can’t be dirty in bed

I don’t know who started this myth but it is flat out wrong. We have halal and we have haram.


Any sexual encounters outside of marriage is haram. Everything inside marriage is halal (other than a tiny number of things which I will mention in the book). You can be pure as snow and still be very dirty in bed. What is amusing (in a sad way) is that many younger Muslims think that the practicing, masjid going, hijab/niqab wearing sisters have dull sex lives and never venture outside of the vanilla. Not true! I have a theory that Muslims are actually kinkier than non-Muslims because we bottle up all that sexual energy and provide only one outlet, that of marriage. Whatever the reason though, I can assure you that some of the same Muslim men and women giving halaqahs and khutbahs and volunteering at the masjid are having very raunchy sex behind closed doors. Being a pure Muslim doesnt mean you dont enjoy sex. It means doing all of that only in marriage and not advertising your bedroom secrets to everyone. In the privacy of your bedroom and between you and your spouse, you can enjoy a very, very rollicking sex life.

The famous Andalusian scholar, Ibn Hazm, wrote this:

But I have observed that many men err gravely as

to the true meaning of the word "righteousness.” Its correct interpretation is as follows. The "righteous" woman is one who, when duly restrained, restrains herself; when temptations are kept out of her way, she keeps herself under control. The "wicked" woman on the other hand is one who, when duly restrained, does not restrain herself, and when barred from all facilities for committing licence, nevertheless herself contrives by some ruse or other to discover the means of behaving badly. The "righteous" man is he who has no traffic with adulterers, and does not expose himself to sights exciting the passions; who does not raise his eyes to look upon ravishing shapes and forms. The "wicked" man however is he who consorts with depraved people, who allows his gaze to wander freely and stares avidly at beautiful faces, who seeks out harmful spectacles and delights in deadly privacies. The "righteous" man and the "righteous” woman are like a fire that lies hidden within the ashes, and does not burn any who is within range of it unless it be stirred into flame.

Having that fire burn within you isn’t a sign that you’re a bad person.

Lacking that fire isnt a sign of righteousness. Righteousness is deciding to only stir that fire into a flame within the bounds of marriage.

Myth 2: The only way for a Muslim to learn how to be great in bed is by doing haram things before marriage

This is another myth that many Muslims have fallen for. A Muslim girl once told me that she wanted to marry a non-practicing Muslim man or a convert because he’s likely done zina and thus would be better in bed! This is completely false and its terrible that people think like this! I had zero intimate relations before marriage. The first time I kissed a man, it was my husband. My husband was the same. I am the only woman he has ever been physically intimate with and I have no complaints about him in the bedroom.

I have non-Muslim friends who were sexually active in college and still came to me for advice because they didnt know how to have fun in bed. There is no correlation between having sex before marriage and being great in bed.

Thinking that doing haram is going to make your halal relationship better is faulty reasoning. The opposite is true. Saving the physical intimacy of sex for only your husband strengthens your bond. This is a man who has announced his relationship to you in public, taken responsibility for shouldering your expenses, and is willing to step up to the plate and be a true father and husband. That man will please you in bed. Not a man who added notches to his bedpost in order to brag to his friends.

Myth 3: Porn is a great educational tool

Statistically, this is a bigger problem for men than women. Theres still a sizeable number of Muslim women who turn to pornography though. Let me tell you in very simple English: Porn is a lie. Real sex is not like pornography. Porn is recorded in order to be entertaining to the viewer.

Positions which look the best are chosen, not ones which are necessarily the most enojyable. It’s not the same as real sex. Real sex is sweaty. Real sex has inevitable farts and queefs. Real sex can get smelly. Real sex consists of men and women with imperfect bodies and a need for foreplay. Real sex comes with emotions. Porn is acting. Women are sexual objects in porn, a vessel for male enjoyment. Women fake their moans, they contort their facial expressions, they pretend to enjoy the most uncomfortable positions. The man supposedly makes them orgasm every single time with just vaginal penetration. And talk about unattainable standards! For men and women (but more for women). Even porn stars dont look like porn stars. Before a shoot, they have professional makeup artists work on their face. Most have had plastic surgery. None are overweight. The men are all muscular with gigantic penises. They ejaculate more loads than is humanly possible.

Dont get fooled into thinking this is real or that your sex life should resemble a porn video.

Research shows that people who watch porn feel worse about the way they look as well as the way their partner looks. In short, porn is one of the worst ways to learn about sex.

Myth 4: Women’s magazines and books written by PhDs are excellent sources of sexual education

Many women stack up on these books before marriage. But guess what? Getting a PhD is simply a matter of spending time in a lab or library. That’s not sex. You might learn some interesting psychology or physiology, but that’s not learning sex. You’re making the same mistake the Muslim girl I mentioned did—thinking that knowing the biology, anatomy, and fiqh of sex means you actually know sex. Those books might make for interesting reading, but they’re not a sex manual. This book is about how to have sex. The nuts and bolts of making your husband thirst for you in bed. It is not an academic publication about the physiology of an orgasm. Knowing how an orgasm occurs in the body is not going to help you achieve an orgasm yourself.

Put another way, who can best train an athlete for the Olympics? A scientist who’s studied muscle development for years in a lab? Or a coach who’s a former athlete and has been involved in the sport for decades?

Myth 5: Religious men lose respect for wives who are dirty in bed

Men love it when their wives are dirty in bed. Why would a man not want his wife to be great in the bedroom? Many Muslim guys worry about the opposite problemthat their wife wont want to be adventurous in bed. Guys want their wife to be fun in the bedroom. It doesnt bother them at all. What does bother many men is  when they think their wife has done all of this with other guys. Especially pious Muslim men who’ve been chaste before marriage, it really messes with their mind when they think you’ve been unchaste and hid it from them. So if your husband is wondering where you learned all this, show him this book and tell him exactly where you learned it! Every man’s dream wife is modest in public and immodest with him in the bedroom. Make that dream come true!

 Another thing to know is that there is no   relation between size of his testicles and the amount of semen he produces. A teaspoon amount of semen is about normal for most men. Pornographic actors take supplements to increase the amount they ejaculate for filming (or, through creative camera angles, use corn syrup to give the illusion that they are ejaculating). Dont go expecting buckets of ejaculation from your husband. Thats a porn fantasy as well.

I’m sure you’re wondering about size. How does your husband stack up against others? Here’s the data: The average length of an erect penis is between 4.5 and 5.75 inches. I did not make a typo. The mean length of an erect penis is 5.17 inches with a standard deviation of 0.65 inches. Look it up. British Journal of Urology did the largest, most systematic review on the subject in 2015. Didn’t I tell you before that porn was not educational? Women who watch porn or read a lot of erotica can end up thinking that the average penis is 7 inches and that anything less than that is small. Less than 7% of men have a penis 7 inches or longer. The 8 inch penises popular in porn make up less than half of one percentage of all men. Odds are, your husband’s penis is between 4 and 6 inches. He’s not abnormal, that’s a normal size for a penis.

Another thing about penises is that they can be flaccid or erect. Theres no relation between penis size when flaccid and when erect. Some men go from a 4 inch penis when flaccid to a 5 inch penis when erect. Others go from a 1.5 inch penis when flaccid to a 7 inch penis when flaccid. No relationship at all.

More importantly, most women who are unsatisfied in the bedroom are not unsatisfied because of their partners penis size. Satisfaction in bed isnt related to his penis size (unless it is extremely small or extremely large). Whether your husband has a 4 inch penis or a 7 inch penis, he can still satisfy you in bed. Dont get disheartened if he’s on the smaller size, he might be a better lover than a man who’s much better endowed. On the flipside, dont be surprised if you find that you’re not satisfied in bed despite having a husband who is well endowed. As you’ll discover by reading this book, theres a lot more to enjoying your sex life than your husband’s penis size.

Body image

If I were to randomly guess how you feel about your body, I would probably be accurate in guessing that you’re worried about it. Maybe you feel a little bit overweight or maybe you feel a lot overweight. Maybe you feel like you’re too flabby or not toned enough. Maybe you’re ashamed of stretch marks or are worried about cellulite.

Maybe you have scars on your body that bother you. Many women feel insecure about their body no matter how they actually look. I can speak forever on body image and unrealistic beauty standards but this isn’t a book about that! I


know, without even knowing you, that you’re afraid your husband will not be pleased with your body because you’re flabby/have stretch marks/have cellulite/acne/something else.

Get that out of your head!

Feeling insecure is one of the greatest ways to damage your performance in bed. When you feel insecure, you’re less likely to let loose and have fun. I can’t undo billions of dollars of advertising and social pressure in one page in order to make you feel secure about your body. I will say this however:

Men want to have sex. Men enjoy sex. Men enjoy girls who are dirty in bed. Your husband is a man and therefore, he wants to have sex with you. Your husband wants to see you naked, I guarantee it.  He chose to marry you. He knew that he was signing on to have sex with you when he made that choice. You might have stretch marks and acne and cellulite but guess what? It doesn’t matter. All women do. The sexiest thing you can do is be confident in yourself. Take ownership of your body and have fun. Insha’Allah you married for piety and therefore, you will be the only woman in his life. He has no choice but to enjoy you!

Genital hygiene

Genital hygiene is a crucial part of a healthy sex life. If everything down there is smelly and hairy, the idea of sex becomes repulsive. Theres a wisdom behind pubic hair removal being an obligatory part of Islam. Everything is nicer in bed when you have no hair down there. Theres less odor, it looks nicer and your husband is more likely to go down on you!

At this point in your life, you probably have a routine to keep yourself bald down there. If not, here’s a quick guide to hair removal.

Shaving

In order to do this most effectively, start with a good blade. Buy a good quality razor and good quality blades to go with it. Don’t be stingy! The cheaper the blade and the longer you go before changing it, the greater the chance of razor burn or ingrown hairs. Not fun and not sexy.

Start by letting your skin soak for a while in warm water (i.e. take a warm shower or bath). Exfoliate your skin by using a loofah. You don’t have to go crazy but firmly rub the loofah as you shower to exfoliate the skin. Some women use shaving cream to help soften the hair and skin before shaving. If you want to go natural, you can use baby oil instead of shaving cream.

When you start actually shaving, pull the skin tight so you’re working with a smooth, firm surface. Shave with the grain using as few strokes as possible. Once you’re done shaving with the grain, go over the same area but against the grain this time. Once you’re out of the shower, blot yourself dry and apply some antiseptic to close the pores and kill bacteria. A neat trick I learned is to use odorless deodorant on your pubic area afterwards to prevent razor burn or ingrown hairs. There are also various products you can buy to prevent razor burns or ingrown hair.

Every woman is different so do what works best for you!

Other options are to do home waxing, sugaring, or use an epilator. What is not an option, however, is to go to a salon and get a bikini wax. Exposing your awrah is not allowed without a medical necessity and this does not fall under that category.

Smell

People sweat. Thats just a reality. It just so happens that in between your legs is a place where sweat likes to gather. This can sometimes leads to an unpleasant odor. Theres no way to completely eliminate the smell but you can take steps to minimize it. Most obviously, you should be taking a shower every day. General body hygiene goes a long way in taking care of odors. After that, you can combat smell by using scents. After you shower in the morning, take an itr stick and lightly dab a drop where your legs join your torso. Use itr not perfume. The oil base of the itr make it stay there and the heat from your legs will gradually release the smell. You’ll still smell good down there hours later.

For men

Genital hygiene goes both ways. You won’t enjoy sex as much if your husband does not keep himself groomed and smell free down there as well. Push him to keep himself shaved and clean.

Birth Control


This wouldnt be a complete sex manual without addressing birth control. Of course, no method is 100% effective (other than abstinence!) but there is a wide difference in how effective the different methods are.

Pulling out (coitus interruptus)

The easiest (and least effective) contraceptive method is pulling out. It’s exactly what it sounds like. You have normal sex but your husband pulls out before ejaculating. It works about 75% of the time, meaning you’ve still got a good chance of getting pregnant. If you want a surefire way of avoiding pregnancy, this is not it.

Condom

The method thats most commonly thought of when thinking about birth control is the male condom. In addition to birth control, its a barrier contraceptive so it helps prevent STD transmission (insha’Allah something you’ll never have to worry about). The best condoms are effective a little over 80% of the time. Thats probably a lot lower than you were expecting!

The reason condoms are so common in our society is not because they’re extremely effective for birth control but instead because they’re very effective in blocking STD transmission. This is a huge problem among non-Muslims who have multiple partners (and their partners have multiple partners) so condoms are strongly emphasized. This is less of a concern for a couple with bilateral monogamy and so condoms are probably not the best choice for birth control if you really want to avoid pregnancy.

How to put a condom on is simple but for those who are completely bewildered, here it is:

Take it out of the package and make sure it’s the right way around. Squeeze the end with your index finger and thumb and place it on the tip of his erect penis. Keeping the tip of the condom squeezes, unroll it down the length of his penis. Make sure there’s some slack at the place you squeezed so that his cum has a place to go.

Pill

The most common type of pill is a combination of estrogen and progestin. These make your mucus thicker to stop sperm from entering your uterus and also stop ovulation so that your eggs don’t leave your ovaries. These are effective 90% of the time for most women. They can also have some side effects like spotting, breast tenderness,headaches, depression, and decreased libido.

Hormonal birth control

These work similar to the pill but aren’t taken orally. You can get an implant (Implanon or Nexplanon) and it’ll last for 3 years. It works 99.5% of the time.

You can also get “the shot”, i.e. Depo-Provera. You have to go get it every three months. It works about 95% of the time but some people experience weight gain with it.

Theres also a patch and a vaginal ring that work in a similar manner.

IUD

These seem to be the most popular. Your doctor inserts it into your vagina and it’s good for at least 5 years. It is 99.8% effective! A lot of women find that it helps decrease period cramps (or eliminates periods altogether).

Sterilization

This isn’t really an option for Muslim women but a tubal ligation will surgically alter your reproductive system so that you can’t conceive. Permanent contraception is haram in Islam so this is only an option if a doctor says that childbirth will literally cause you to die.

Lube

Lube is short for lubricant. Lube is something you use to reduce friction. Basically, it makes it easier for you and your husband’s skin to slide against each other to make sex more enjoyable. Different women secrete different amounts of fluids when they’re aroused. For some women, even mild arousal can result in enough natural lubrication that they don’t need any outside lube. For others, even when they’re extremely aroused, their body doesn’t secrete a lot of natural lube. If you’re in the latter category, it’s always a good idea to have a bottle of lube stored near the bed for when you have sex.

There are four types of lubes. Water based, silicone based, hybrid, and oil.

Water based lubes are the most common. Since they’re water-based, they’re easy to clean, won’t stain clothing or sheets, and can be used with condoms without causing them to tear. They can also be used with sex toys.


Silicone is probably the second most common lube. It has a really unique feeling, almost silk- like. It lasts longer than water based lube so you dont have to reapply as often. You can also use silicone with condoms without a problem but they do break down silicone sex toys. In addition to the silky smooth feeling of silicone lubricant, it comes in handy during shower sex. It wont wash away like water lubricant so if you’re having shower sex, use it!

Hybrid lubes are kind of in between a water and silicone lube. They feel like water but last as long as silicone and wont’ wash off in the shower. If you’re planning on using just one lube, start out with this one.

Oil based lube have a number of drawbacks. They break down latex condoms. Theyre hard to clean up. But, they feel amazing. And for some guys, therere few things hotter than seeing their wife with a naked shiny body. If you’re using oil- based lube, dont use it for penetrative sex. Use it when giving a sexy massage, a handjob, or breast sex.

Some companies even sell flavored lube. This can make oral sex easier if you or your husband are bothered by the natural smell down there even despite good hygiene.

Before going out and buying an entire bottle of lube that you might not use, start out with a travel sized option. These are usually good for one or two uses and will give you a feel for each one. After trying them, you’ll be able to decide which one works best for you.

When having sex, feel free to reapply lube as needed. Lube evaporates so even if you’re wet and slippery when you begin, you might feel a little bit dry later on. Just take some lube and rub it over his penis or condom to get things sliding smoothly again.

Final thing to keep in mind is that a lot of lubricants are sperm-unfriendly. If you’re just have sex for fun, this doesn’t matter. If you’re trying to get pregnant, look for a lube that says TTC (trying to conceive) on it. These are formulated to not change pH so that the sperm doesn’t die because of the environment.

Kegels are a pelvic floor exercise that every woman should do (actually, every man should do them too). Doing these exercises regularly will help you in so many ways. Most doctors recommend it to help with urinary incontinence

after pregnancy but it has so many more benefits. It will increase the strength of your orgasm, increase vaginal tightness, and give you the ability to tightly squeeze your husband when he’s inside of you.

Think about what muscles you use to hold your urine in when you have to go. Flex those muscles. If you cant figure out which muscles those are, do this. The next time you go the bathroom, you’re your urine midstream. You might not be successful at actually stopping the stream but at least you’ll know which muscles you need to use. Those are the muscles you’ll be exercising with Kegels. As an aside, dont make it a habit to stop urinating midstream though.

That increases the risk of a bladder infection.

Once you’ve figured out which muscles to use, tighten them and hold for five seconds. Then relax for five seconds. Do this four or five times. Its important to keep them relaxed for an equal amount of time! The relaxing is as much a part of the exercise as contracting. Work up to keeping them contracted for 10 seconds and relaxing for 10 seconds.

For best results, focus on isolating and tightening just those muscles. When you start,you might find yourself relying on your butt muscles or abdomen muscles. As you strengthen your pelvic muscles, you’ll be able to isolate it to just contracting them and nothing else.

Do at least 3 sets of 10 repetitions a day. You can do it more if you’d like.

My Ob/Gyn recommended doing it every single time I’m at a stoplight. There are kegel weights that you can use if you so desire but simply doing the contraction and relaxation without inserting anything will still get you good results.

Sexting

Sexting is a touchy subject. Texting your husband is naturally going to have some sexual overtones at times. Talking dirty to him over text at times is fine (and in this book, I’ll teach you how to do it).

The problem comes in when you send explicit nude/ semi nude pictures to each other. NEVER SEND NUDE OR SEMI NUDE PICTURES TO EACH OTHER. AVOID IT AT ALL COST. I know many young couples exchange nudes but I would strongly warn you from this. I’m not saying this as someone who’s afraid or unaware of technology.

In fact, the opposite. There are actual dedicated


websites on the internet which post pictures of Muslim women in varying states of undress.

Men go onto these websites and arouse themselves by looking at a woman going from full hijab to wearing nothing.

The sad reality is that you simply don’t know where your pictures can end up. Divorces happen and angry ex-husbands can be vindictive. Even if your husband is the most honorable man in the world, phones can get lost, misplaced, or even borrowed. It takes just a few minutes to transfer an entire digital library of images to a computer. Once your photos are on someone else’s computer, they can be disseminated all over the world in a matter of minutes. As many Hollywood celebrities found to their horror last year, many phones back up their photos to a cloud. That cloud can (and has been) hacked, resulting in thousands of images being leaked over the internet.

I personally know a hijabi sister, very active in her community, who made the mistake of sending such photos to her husband. After her divorce, they were leaked over the internet along with her name. He denies having anything to do with it but the fact remains that whenever a person Googles her name, nude images of her show up in Google. Even after spending money and hiring someone to contact websites to remove her photos, an occasional one will still resurface under her name.

Its really not worth the risk.

With all that said, I’m realistic. I know most couples will still at least occasionally send each other nude images. If you’re going to do it despite my advice to the contrary, make sure to take these precautions:

Dont include your face in such pictures. In the event of those photos finding their way onto the internet, not including your face allows the images to be kept separate from your identity.

Never, never, never keep nude images stored in any format. The day your little kid swipes through your phone’s photos to find an ‘Eid picture and stumbles upon photos of you naked is a day that will permanently scar both of you.

Dirty talk

This is not for everyone but some people get really turned on by talking dirty. On the other hand, some people get really turned off by it. This is where communication comes into play. Talk to your husband beforehand. I firmly believe that in a happy sexual relationship, the other person should indulge the predilections of their spouse even if theyre not turned on by it, so hopefully if you’re into it and your husband is not, he’ll at least give it a try. One last thing.

Dirty talk does not HAVE to involve profanity. It can, and the profanity turns a lot of people on, but if you and your husband don’t feel comfortable with It, you can still dirty talk without profanity.

First and foremost, keep context in mind! Dirty talk is when you’re feeling lusty. It is not something to introduce when you two are in a cuddly, romantic move. If your husband kisses you on the forehead, look you in the eyes, and


then says “I love you”, do NOT respond with “I love you too. Now drill my pussy with your rock hard dick.” Just no. Talk dirty when you and your husband are in a carefree mood, having fun, maybe flirting. not when he’s telling you that you’re the love of his life.

Another thing to keep in mind about context is how your voice sounds. If you’re out in a parking taking a nighttime stroll, it would make sense to take a breathy voice and whisper into this ear “I cant wait for you to fuck me when we get home”. Saying that same thing in a high-pitched squealy voice wont have the desired effect. On the flipside, if you two are already in bed together, it would make sense to squeal “Fuck me harder baby”. Using a sultry whisper voice here doesnt make sense.

Point here being: dirty talk is not just knowing the words but also the context. Know when to use it and what tone to use.

Another thing about dirty talk: communication  is also non-verbal! In addition to your tone and context, use the rest of your feminine wiles. Sure, you can whisper to him “Baby I want you inside of me” and get a rise out of him. OR, you can lean in, place a hand on his chest, breath your

hot breath on his ear and say in a soft tone “Baby.. ..I... want... .you... inside... .of me.”

Ok, so you’ve decided you want to at least try some dirty talk. What exactly do you say? Well, if you’re not having sex at the moment, you tell him what you want to do with him. If you are having sex at the moment, you tell him what you’re liking about it. It’s really that simple.

Here are a few examples to use.

If you ’re really shy, you can start out with a simple text. Here are some tame starters:

“Looking forward to you coming home today. I have a feeling we’re going to have some fun!”

When you get home, don’t be surprised if I’m not wearing clothes”

I can’t focus at work! I keep thinking about your body and what I want to do with it”

“What do you want me to wear tonight?”

Things to say when you ’re outside home and you want to build up the sexual tension

“I wish I was home so I could do the dirty things

to you that I want to”

“I want to rip your clothes off right now.”

“You know, if we were at home, I’d probably have your dick inside my mouth right now”

“You look so sexy in that shirt”

“Walk in front of me so I can check out your butt”

When you get started talking dirty for real, here are few beginning sentences:

“Mmm, baby, that feels soooo good.” “I am SO wet right now”

“I could spend all day between your legs” “I’m getting close”

“Is that a bulge I’m seeing in your pants?”

Kick it up a notch:

“I love riding you like this”

“I love sucking your dick so much”

“You have such a hot ass”

Its so hot when you pin me down like this

(If you ’re being dominant)

“Get down on your knees and service my pussy” “You cock belongs to me”

“Shut your mouth and get naked. I’m gonna have my way with you and you cant do anything to stop me”

(If you’re being submissive)

“I’ve been a bad girl who needs spanking” “Pull my hair and Make me your bitch”

“I want you to handcuff me and fuck me any way you want

“Fuck me like I’m your personal slut”

Flirting with other men A BIG NO.

This should be a no-brainer, but women who get their marital advice from pop-magazines and pseudo-psychology sources may have heard the popular refrain that “flirting with others is actually healthy for a relationship”. No, no, no! If your husband has even a shred of gheerah, this is only going to distance him from you and possibly even lead to divorce.

Never, ever play get-even games by flirting or letting men give you attention. You’ll find this tip in superficial girlie magazines. It might even work for some women in the short term, getting their husband to pay attention to them out of jealousy. In the long term, it breaks down the relationship. If the only way you can hold a relationship together is by manipulating your husband with these tricks, you need to see a marriage counselor to determine whether the marriage is worth staying in.

First time

Many of you will be reading this right before marriage. Those of you aren’t, feel free to skip to the next section.

The mixture of emotions you’re feeling right now is unique. Nervous, excited, worries, anxious, scared, eager, afraid. All tied together as one!


Some couples start with sex on their wedding night. Others delay it. There’s really no right or wrong when it comes to this. If you feel comfortable enough with your husband, you might decide to dive in headfirst. Many women, however, find it better to delay it until they’re comfortable with their husband. Personally, I would recommend not having penis in vagina intercourse on your first day. It would be better to get comfortable with kissing, handjobs, getting fingered, and oral sex before moving on to vaginal penetration. By the time you actually have penetrative sex, you and your husband will already be very comfortable with each other’s bodies.

Pain

Contrary to popular belief, sex should not be extremely painful, even when you lose your virginity. Yes, it might not be as comfortable as it will be later on, but excruciating pain? That shouldn’t happen. If it is too painful the first time, have him pull out. Perhaps you need more foreplay, perhaps you should add more more lube, perhaps you’re not mentally ready, or perhaps you have a medical condition. Don’t force yourself into it if the pain is unbearable.

That pain is telling you that something is wrong.

Bleeding

Not every woman bleeds her first time. The more relaxed you are, the more you’ve played around with your husband, and the more lubricant you use, the less the chance of bleeding.

Think about how nervous you are. Your husband is just that nervous too, maybe more. Remember, one of the best ways to torpedo your relationship is to make fun of your husband in bed or make him feel insecure (if your husband does either of these to you purposefully, see a marriage counselor immediately). The first time (or two or three or five), many guys find themselves unable to sustain (or even achieve) an erection. This doesnt mean his body doesnt find yours attractive! Its a physiological response to nervousness. Once he gets to the stage where he can achieve erection, dont be surprised if the  first couple of times he lasts only for a few seconds. Be encouraging but at the same time, dont stop once he ejaculates. You can still have fun in bed when he’s not hard! Have him go down on you or finger you if the sex wasnt enjoyable. This is another reason why I recommend not starting off with PIV sex. If it doesn’t go 100% well (which it never does), at least he has some experience in how to pleasure you properly.

Communication

Tell your husband he needs to be gentle the first time. This seems like a no-brainer but if his view of sex has been warped by porn, he might think all sex is fast and rough. There’ll be time for hard and rough sex later but the first time, slow and gentle is the way to go.

Start with foreplay until you’re wet. Have him insert at least two fingers inside of you before moving on to his penis. Once you’re relaxed and comfortable, guide him inside. It should NOT require a lot of force. If you can’t get it in, pull out, go back to foreplay, and focus on him fingering you. Then try again. If it still won’t go in, see a doctor.

If he keeps popping out, don’t worry, happens. He’ll learn with time how much he needs to thrust.

If you don’t orgasm through penetration, you’re in the majority. You enjoy kissing your husband, right? Does that end with orgasm? Probably not (if it does, please send me tips on what he does so I can tell my husband). Enjoy sex for itself. Think about orgasms and penetrative sex as different. You can have one without the other or you can have both. Worrying about orgasmings during sex diminishes your pleasure. You’ll be focusing on whats not happening rather than enjoying what is. Relax, enjoy the pleasure. We’ll talk about increasing the chance of orgasm through penetrative sex but enjoy sex with or without orgasm. After he’s climaxed, guide his hand down your clitoris to bring you to orgasm. Sex is NOT over when hes satisfied. Its over when both of you are.

Kissing

I know, I know. You might be rolling your eyes saying to yourself, “I thought this was a book about sex. Why waste my time talking about simple stuff like kissing?” That’s the wrong way to think! Don’t dismiss the sensuality of a great kiss. Physical intimacy is more than just penis in vagina. It’s a complete package and often begins with a kiss. The very first intimate physical act you’ll likely have with your husband is kissing.

Dont overlook it!

More than just the first intimate act you’ll have


with your husband, kissing is actually one of the most intimate acts a couple can do. Think about all the senses which are centered in your face.

Your sight, your smell, your hearing, your taste. Its no wonder that couples who divorce often stop kissing long before they stop having sex. Sex can be romantic and intimate but it can also be simply passionate and lustful. Kissing, however, always conveys love. In the hookup culture we live in today, many people will have casual sex with others while refusing to give them a kiss.

Theres a natural tendency to equate kissing with love.

As you read the following tips, realize that a lot of this will flow naturally between you and your husband. Don’t get too caught up with details. Especially your first time, just go with the flow. As you and your husband become more familiar with each other, you can start incorporating some of the techniques I mention.

Before even beginning to talk about how to kiss, I have to make sure to talk about oral hygiene.

This is a real issue! You dont want your husband to not kiss you because your breath smells bad!

Same goes with the reverse. If your husband’s breath isnt the greatest, find ways to subtly nudge him in the right direction. Schedule a dentist appointment for him if you need to.  Make sure you’re brushing twice a day. Floss your teeth regularly. Get a non-alcoholic mouthwash and use it daily as well. If bad breath is still a problem, see a dentist! Finally, although not really hygiene, use chap stick to keep your lips soft. All of this will enhance the kissing experience.

Start by making eye contact with your husband. Give him a small smile and a light touch before beginning the actual kiss. Maybe put your hand on his face or touch his leg. Make him anticipate the kiss.

Begin slowly and gently. You don’t want to rush into the kiss and bump teeth. Start with a kiss on the lips. Tilt your head to the side so that you don’t bump noses. When your lips meet, slowly squeeze his lips into yours.

After a while, you can morph this into a French kiss. Do this by slowly opening your mouth wider until you can put your tongue into his mouth and touch his tongue. Use your tongue. Tease him with light flicks. Go back and forth into each other’s mouths. Trace the edge of his lips with the tip of your tongue. Explore his mouth! Feel his gums and teeth with your tongue. Make sure to give him opportunity to reciprocate.

Dont just kiss on the lips. He has other kissable parts too! Work on his neck and collarbone.

Bite, but gently. Nibble his earlobe or neck. Maybe his bottom lip. If you’re adventurous, give him a hickey. Kiss his neck with a slightly open mouth. Suck in the skin. This will leave a mark so be careful where you do it!

Remember, a kiss is more than just your mouth. Use your hands. Don’t leave your hands limp in front of you or on your lap. Explore your husband’s body. Put your arms around his neck. Touch his arms. Run your hands down his back or chest. Run your fingers through his hair and massage his scalp. His body is exclusively yours for the rest of your marriage! Explore the goods!

Tease him in the middle sometimes. Pull back for a second or two and look him straight in the eyes. Wait for him to pull you back in. Time then when you need a break for air so it doesn’t break the mood.

Whisper in his ear. “You are so hot.” “I’ve been waiting all day to kiss you”. Exhale your warm breath onto his ear. This drives men crazy.

If you want to take some control when kissing, put your hand on his chin.

You can manipulate his face from side to side and control where you kiss him.

Mix things up. You don’t have to do all the above every time. Try one or two, mix things together.

While this is about mouth to mouth kissing, remember, he has an entire body to explore. The lower back, the butt, and the stomach are sensitive areas that are fun to kiss (and be kissed at!).

After it’s done, tell him how fun it was! Marriage is not a time to be stoic. Let him know you enjoyed it. “That was amazing!” “I can’t get enough of kissing you!”. If he did something that you especially liked, let him know so he does it more often! Communicate!

Hand jobs

Ok, so moving up from kissing is the hand job. Like it sounds, this is when you work your magic


on his penis using your hand. Some couples never try this, figuring its a boring middle- ground between kissing and sex. Dont be fooled, a good handjob can be incredibly pleasurable for your husband.

You might be tempted to morph a handjob into oral sex as things heat up. It’s a natural progression to go from hand on his penis to mouth on his penis. I’m not saying never go from a handjob to oral sex but, don’t always do that.

At least try a few straight handjobs to completion with no oral involved and see how much pleasure you can elicit from just a handjob.

The great thing about handjobs is that you don’t need much set up. You don’t need to be in the bedroom (but do need privacy of course!), don’t need a mood, and you don’t even have to worry about any smell from hours of sweating! If you have lube handy, it can make the handjob feel even better but it’s certainly not a requirement.

In theory, a handjob is simple. Wrap your fingers around his penis and move your first up and down with slow, measured strokes. But this isnt a book about simple sex, its a book about how to have “mind-blowing” sex. So here are some tips to move your handjobs from basic to amazing.

 

Even though a handjob is often seen as foreplay (even though you absolutely can make it the main act), it gets even hotter when you do some foreplay for the handjob. Start with a kiss and while he’s focusing on that, move a hand down towards his pants. With your husband’s pants on and still zipped, start by rubbing over them.

Instead of starting right over his penis, I’d recommend putting a hand on a thigh and working inwards. Draw little circles with your

index fingers, spiraling in to his penis. When you get over it, massage it a little bit and feel his hardening erection. Use your index finger to scratch over his balls and penis. If you get just the right angle, it’ll drive him crazy.

After a minute or two of this, unzip his pants and tug down. Pull down his underwear as well. Once you release his penis (hopefully erect by now!), gently graze it with your fingers. Move from top to bottom. He might have a few drops of precum at the tip. Don’t waste it! Using one finger, spread the precum over the tip of his penis.

Grab his penis and begin stroking it up and down. Ask him how firm he likes it. Some men enjoy a firm grip while others prefer something more gentle. Regardless, you don’t have to be as gentle with his penis as you do with his testicles. It can take much more pressure than his testicles. Start out slow and gradually increase your speed. The fast you go, the shorter he will last, so keep that in mind. Keep your wrists constantly in motion.

Maintain eye contact. Its easy, especially as you’ve been married longer, to go on autopilot and give him a handjob while you’re watching TV or reading a book. While this is fine in moderation, you dont want it to appear that you’ve got more important things to do and are only grudgingly giving him some sexual pleasure that doesnt interfere with your own schedule.

While stroking him, there’s a few things you can do to vary the sensations and increase the pleasure. Don’t try all the different techniques at once. Introduce one or two each time you give your husband a handjob and see which ones he enjoys the most. Mix them up to keep things fresh.

Techniques

Instead of using your full hand so your palm is stroking him, switch to using just your finger tips. The feeling of five or ten little points of contact instead of one big one will give him a unique sensation.

Use both hands, one over the other, if his penis  is long enough and/or your palms are small enough. Even if your hands are big or his penis is shorter, you can still use two hands by making an “o” with the thumb and index finger of one hand and the palm of the other. Once he’s completely erect, you can occasionally throw in a twisting movement as you go up and down.

The glans of his penis is the most sensitive part. If it’s too sensitive for him, only use light touch. If it’s not try this technique to mix things up.

Move your thumb to the tip of his penis instead of wrapping it around with the rest of your fingers (kind of like holding a computer joystick). Use the thumb to tease around the head while you stroke up and down normally.

Other places that are more sensitive are the ridge where the head meets the shaft (corona) and the ride that runs straight along the underside of his penis (frenulum).

You can use one palm to completely envelop the top of his penis while continuing to stroke with


the other.

You can try stroking him just upwards, one hand after the other, and then just downwards. Switch up your grip and change from a full grasp to using just a ring formed with your thumb and index finger Experiment and play around! You don’t have to try all of these during one session!

Dont forget his balls. Men love it when their balls are paid attention to.

These can be very sensitive though so be careful. Try massaging and stroking them. Hold them in your palm and gently roll them around. Do  NOT hit them or squeeze them—it can be very painful.

Vary your positions. You can give a handjob side by side, sitting between his legs while he’s lying down, kneeling between his feet as he sits on a sofa/bed/chair. Hug him from behind and then grasp his penis underneath from between his legs.

AFTER HAND JOB, Be prepared for ejaculation! Tell him to tell you when he’s about to cum. Depending on whether you’re dressed or not, either let him blow into your hands or over your face, neck, breasts, etc. If you don’t want any of that, let him ejaculate on bed sheet or towel.You can both give hand job to each other at the same time.

And yes, sometimes (maybe most times), a handjob will only be a prelude to sex. In that case, have him stop you before he ejaculates so that you save it for the sex. As always, make sure you’re giving him feedback and communicating during the handjob. “Mmmmm, your cock feels so warm and nice in my hand”, etc. See the chapter on talking dirty if you need tips.

Blowjob

This is one of the most important sections of the book. There are few things which will make your husband lust after you more than the sight of you on your knees in front of him, giving him oral sex.

Blowjobs are something where your skills can continuously improve. Even with no experience, your first time giving him a blowjob will be an event to remember. After that, it can only get better as you get more adept at various maneuvers. You’ll find that oral sex is very versatile and can be done in so many positions and so many places.Before you give a blowjob though, make sure that your husband is shaved down there. Go back and review the section on genital hygiene. You want your husband to be clean and (relatively) odor-free down there. Hair does not make oral sex appealing. The same goes for you if your husband wants to give you the same.

Start your blowjob by kissing him like normal Think about it as a prelude to the main act.

While you’re kissing him, use one hand to slowly beginning rubbing his crotch. Once you feel his penis hardening, unbutton and unzip his pants, pulling them all the way down.

Now that his penis is exposed, get down on your knees. The submissive nature of this position makes it arousing for a lot of people. During the times you prefer something less submissive, have him lay down on a bed and then position yourself between his crotch. Its still an inherently submissive act, but this slightly decreases that aspect of it.

Dont start by immediately taking his penis into your mouth. Work outwards and come in, building up the anticipation. Kiss around his crotch and groin. Tickle his balls with the tips of your fingers. Spend some time coming closer to the penis, enjoying the sexual tension that builds up as you tease him below.

When you decide to begin, start by gently stroking his penis with your hand. Again, you’re building up the tension as he anticipates your mouth meeting his penis. Do this for just 30-45 seconds. Then, lower your mouth and take his penis in. Keep your lips wrapped around it and move it in and out. The more saliva you can get, the better it’ll feel for him. Use your tongue to massage his penis while it’s moving in and out. As you get more comfortable, take more and more of him inside of you with each stroke.

Theres a good chance youll eventually take him so far in that you trigger your gag reflex. Dont worry, its natural.

The most sensitive part of a penis is called the frenulum. This is right where the head of his penis meets his shaft, on the back portion of his penis. Gently flick this while sucking him to stimulate it. Some men don’t have a frenulum, depending on the method by which they were circumcised. It’s not a big deal if it’s not there.

Now, you don’t always have to build up the tension like this. Some days, you may feel like cutting straight to the chase. Simply undo his pants, take his penis out, take it in your mouth,


and begin pleasuring him. The key to a spicy sex life is variation. Dont always do one or the other. Some days, you’ll prefer the slow, anticipation building blowjob. Other days, you’ll prefer to go straight to the main event. Keep it fresh by switching then up.

With the basics out of the way, there are other things you can do in a blowjob to make it interesting. Dont use all these techniques at once. Think about them like spices on food. You add one or two per dish, not all. So the first time, have a completely plain blowjob, just your mouth and up and down. Add in one technique next time, then another the time after that.

Techniques

Kiss! It’s not just for the mouth! Yes, kiss his penis. You can do small quick pecks or long wet sloppy kisses. Not only is it erotic and arousing to watch for him, it’ll give your jaw a rest from having him in your mouth.

Make eye contact. Seeing his penis inside your mouth while you’re looking up at him will really turn on your husband. Dont be shy, he enjoys seeing you like this, so indulge him.

Talk during the blowjob. You might wonder how you can talk if your mouth is otherwise occupied. Well, during a blowjob, you dont have to have his penis in your mouth the entire time. Make use of your hands intermittently to give your jaw a rest. Thats when you talk to him.

Tell him how much you’re enjoying giving him a blowjob. Ask him how he likes the feeling. Talk dirty to him if you’re comfortable with that.

A small variation is to apply pressure with just your lips. Take your husband’s penis into your mouth and make an O shape with your lips.

Press down using just your lips. Then, bob your head up and down, taking his penis in and out of your mouth.

Do not, do not, do NOT use your teeth on a blowjob. This is a tip found in many women’s sex magazines and you have to wonder if its a revenge plot from an estranged ex-lover. Imagine if your husband was using his teeth when performing oral sex on you. Dont do it.

Licking. A blowjob isnt just taking his penis into your mouth. Use your tongue in its entirety. Treat his penis like a lollipop and use your tongue to lick it from the base to the very tip.

Spend more time at the head, working your tongue all around and under it to stimulate his nerves. Your tongue is surprisingly muscular and you can really work his penis using just your tongue. Spiral your tongue around the top of his penis. Move it in circles and alternate directions and speed.

Just like in a handjob (which you can be doing alongside a blowjob), don’t forget about his balls. They’re fun to play with and pleasurable for him. You can lick them, kiss them, or suck on them.

You can switch to stroking his penis with your hand while you take his balls into your mouth and then reverse it, fondling his balls with your hand while you take his penis into your mouth. Just dont neglect them.

Use your hands! In addition to working his penis with your hands when you take a break to rest your jaw, use your hands while in the process of giving oral sex. You’re probably going to have at least a few inches of his penis hanging out of your mouth. Use a hand on the exposed shaft to give sensation there as well.

Suck him. This requires energy but is very pleasurable. Wrap your lips around his penis and take the first few inches into your mouth. Suck on it gently. This will cause your cheeks to grab his penis and make him moan.

When you’re giving oral sex, make sure you tell him to communicate when he’s about to ejaculate. Theres a difference of opinion, but most scholars say swallowing is haram.^ You can finish by having him cum on your face (facial), onto your chest (pearl necklace) or just collect it in your hand. If you dont mind changing the sheets, you can just aim his penis away from you and have him ejaculate on the bed.

Deep throat

Deep throating is not reccomended.Many women simply can’t deep throat or never enjoy it. If that’s you, don’t worry. There’s plenty of other fun things to do in the bedroom.

Massage

A sensual massage is one of the hottest things you can do to each other. It can be either be done on its own, or before or after sex (as foreplay or as post-sex enjoyment). Like a kiss, massages are a unique way of conveying love, not lust. A good massage doesnt have to last long and doesnt require much preparation.

If youre doing it on its own or as foreplay, its good to set the mood. Have the right ambience


for a sexy massage. Dim the lights, burn some bukhoor, maybe set some soft music in the background (if you follow the fiqh position that music is fine). A good trick is to take one of your colored hijabs and drape it over a lamp shade to give off a colored glow. It can really change the ambience of the room.

Pick a product to massage into him. Coconut oil is the standard but there are special warming oils and flavored massage oils (if you want to use tongue) that you can consider.

A good massage is slow and sensuous. Remember, this involves the whole body from the top down. Don’t jump straight to his penis!

Start at the very top, at his head. Yes, massage that too! Rub your fingertips in small circles over his scalp. The feeling of ten individual points of contact going in all sorts of directions is amazing. Apply as much pressure as you want, theres no chance of you hurting his scalp with just the pressure of your fingers.

One place which feels very good to massage is the pressure point right in the

middle of the forehead (the place where cartoon


cyclops have their third eye). Take both thumbs and apply pressure there for a minute. It does wonders to relieve the tension. While you’re doing this, massage the sides of his forehead as well. Keep your thumbs pressed in the middle of the forehead and use your other fingers to massage his temples.

Then massage his facial bones. Trace the angle of his jaw with your fingers and apply pressure on his cheekbones and you walk your fingers over his face.

Move down to his neck and shoulders. The neck is an often overlooked erogenous zone. Feel for the indentations in his neck and apply pressure there. Rub the tense muscles on the side of his neck before moving down to his upper back.

When you get to his shoulders, use your full hands on each shoulder to push down on his muscles. You can even use your elbows to apply more pressure if he enjoys that. Remember, use lighter pressure on the skin over the bones here and more pressure on the skin overlaying the muscles between bones.

Work your way downwards, spending about 10- 15 minute on each section. Take each arm and massage down from the shoulder to the end. Use your knucles to kneed his palms. Massage his fingers by twisting each of them in a closed fist.

Massage his butt, pressing in with your thumbs. Get the back of his thighs, and push in hard. As you move down to his thighs and legs, you’ll find that theyre more muscular and you have to push in harder. Move outward along his inner thigh, massaging all the way. If he’s comfortable, try and push in to his perineum, the area between his scrotum and his anus. Work your way all the way down, rubbing to his feet, his heels, and his ankles. If he works a job that requires a lot of standing or walking, this will feel so amazingly good.

Dont forget the other side of his body! The clavicle, the chest, the breast bone, the nipples, all of them also feel good to be massaged!

As you’re massaging him up and down, vary the pressure that you’re applying. Pay attention to his responses. A soft moan means you’re doing great. A harsh intake of breath means you’re going too hard. Some men like that, though, so if you hear it, ask him if he wants you to apply less pressure.

Now that you’ve gone top to bottom, move back up to his penis and testicles. Give him a handjob but make it slow and sensual. Don’t do it with the goal of making him ejaculate. Use slow, long strokes with the palm of your hand.

Use lots of oil to keep it wet. Massage his testicles too but very gently.

Depending on what the mood is, you can finish the massage by turning up the intensity of the handjob until he ejaculates or just finishing without any orgasm. A sensual massage is a treat by itself!

Unlike other acts, this is one where less talking is actually sexier. If you need to say something, use a soft, sultry voice. A sensual massage is all about non verbal communication.

Stripping And walking nude

The best place to strip is your bedroom, provided you have enough space.

 Going from fully covered, pious Muslimah to ravaging him in bed is part of the turn on in a striptease.

Remember, in a striptease, you are taking control. This is one where you’re dominant. When he comes home from work, grab him by the wrist and take him to where you’re going to strip for him. Push him, —firmly—where he should sit. Give him a soft kiss and then walk away.

As you walk away, make sure it’s slow and seductive. Put some movement into your hips as you do so. When you get as far as you intend to, stop. Look over your shoulder while still facing away, and take the outermost layer of your top off.

Take a step back towards your husband. Put your hands on either side of your hips and Bend forward while you’re doing this so that your butt is front and center for your husband showing him your vagina and hips. Remember, your husband loves to watch and you are the only woman he has.

When you’re undoing your bra, again, do it slowly. Face the other way. Slip each shoulder strap down before undoing the bra from behind. Throw the bra at him over your shoulder. At this point, all he sees is your bare back. Then turn around and let him get a view of your breasts.

A really good move to do to turn him on is to come up to him and sit down while straddling one of his thighs. Move up and down his thigh. Take it all the way to his knee and then grind your crotch into his knee.

 There’re other ways to spice up your sex life.

Positions

So, now to the real meat of the book. Sex positions. This is the best way to vary your sex life. Some couples never move beyond missionary position. If that’s what you two enjoy, that’s perfectly fine! However, not every couple wants to stay vanilla every time. In the following pages, I’m going to talk about 100 different positions for you and your husband to try. You’ll find that you’re drawn to

Missionary (IDEAL FOR FIRST NIGHT)

This is the most common sex position, period. You might find that its your go-to position. It works for almost everyone regardless of fitness level, flexibility, and weight. Dont worry, youre not “vanilla” just because you enjoy this position (not that theres anything wrong with being vanilla if it satisfies you two in the bedroom).

You lay down on your back with your legs open. Your husband gets on top with his legs between you. He can rest some of his weight on his elbows to avoid crushing you. On the other hand, you might find that you like the feeling of him allowing some of his weight to push you down onto the bed. Experiment to see what is most pleasurable.

To increase pleasure in this position, have him grind on you while he’s thrusts. Basically, he needs to move his pelvis up and down while thrusting so that his pubic bone pushes into your clitoris. Don’t think, however, that just because he’s dominant in this position that you should do nothing. That’s a recipe for the dreaded “limp fish” syndrome. Be vocal, don’t be shy in letting out any moans of pleasure. Use your arms to wrap around his neck or head, or even to grab his back so that you can pull yourself up to cause even deeper penetration.

What to say during sex

Probably the most common complaint men have when theyre not satisfied with sex is shes like a limp fish”. A lot of women want to show their husband theyre enjoying sex but dont know how to express that.

Interestingly, the key to not being a “limp fish” in bed begins outside the bedroom. Let him know you’re thinking of him or that you’re looking forward to the night. This lets him know that he’s not the only one getting pleasure out of sex.

Once you two are in the bedroom and his clothes start coming off, run your fingers and hands over his body. If you like something about his appearance or his smell, compliment him! Men dont get compliments but love them just as much as we do. When was the last time a friend complimented you on your outfit or on your hair or on anything? Probably recently. Ask your husband the last time a friend complimented him on anything. There’s a good chance he won’t be able to think of any example. So compliment him, he’ll feel so great!

Give him verbal feedback during sex. If he’s doing something right tell him how good it makes you feel. You don’t have to be detailed. It could be something as simple as “Right there” or “keep going” or “more” or “don’t stop”. If he’s doing something wrong, give him guidance!

Some women are shy about this but it’s very important. If he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong, how can he improve it?

Ask him how he feels? It can be something as simple as, “Do you like that?” or “Does that feel nice?”. He’ll give you feedback and you can continue or adjust accordingly. A grunt or moan is a positive feedback.

How to be a freak in bed

Be open to trying things.

That includes what’s in this book as well as things your husbands suggest that aren’t in here. However, you have to draw the line at what is haram. If your husband wants you to do something that is clearly haram, dont give in. If he is pressuring you or manipulating you into doing those things, its very important to consider whether this is a marriage worth staying in. I know two women who were pressured into anal sex with their husband. They both acquiesced. Not too long after that, they were divorced, citing the abusive nature of their husband. Trying new things in bed should be a healthy and mutually enjoyable part of your relationship.

Enjoy sex

Dont think of this book as simply a way to please your husband in bed. Its a way to please yourself as well! If you focus only on doing things your husband wants, you’re going to feel like you’re faking or simply providing a service to him. You want to enjoy sex for yourself  too. Your imagination is the key.

 

Dont get caught in the false narrative

Dont leave it up to him to spice things up

Dont be shy of voicing your preferences. Just like you’re open to trying new things, your husband should be open to them too. Some days do what he prefers, other days do what you prefer. Hopefully there’s a large overlap between what you two prefer!

Be confident

Your husband is not doing you a favor by having sex with you. He wants it just as much as you do (maybe even more). Maybe you think you’re overweight or your boobs aren’t big enough or your legs are toned enough. Take a deep breath. Your husband wants you. He married you and (assuming you married for deen and he’s pious), you’re the only woman he’s going to be having sex with. Men are just as worried as we are. They worry their penis isn’t long enough or thick enough or they won’t last very long or they’re last too long or they’re not muscular enough. The difference is that men want sex so bad, they push that aside and move forward. Take that same attitude!

Initiate

This goes back to being confident. Remember how I said men are just as worried about their bodies as we are, they just want it so bad that they push it aside? Well, when you don’t initiate, he’ll start wondering what’s wrong with him.

Hell think you’re not interested or don’t’ find him attractive. He won’t voice it, most guys are too stoic to say it, but it’ll really strain your relationship. You don’t have to initiate every single time but if you can get it to 50/50, that would be perfect.

Dressing sexy in the bedroom

This section is about dressing up at home. When you’re outside, you should be dressed modestly and in a manner that doesnt draw attention to your beauty. Inside the home, however, is a different story.

The most important part to dressing sex is to find out what your husband think is sexy! Not all men are the same. Some men enjoy seeing their wives in thongs. Others find the sight of plain white panties to be intensely arousing. If you want to dress sexy for your husband, you need to know what he finds sexy.

At the same time, you should also find what makes you feel sexy. If it’s the same, great! If not, alternate outfits between what makes you feel sexy and what your husband thinks is sexy. If a certain outfit makes you feel sexier, it’ll shine through and translate into more enjoyable sex.

So dressing up isnt simply a visual treat for your husband, it can be enjoyable for you as well (both in the dressing up part and for what happens after the clothes come off).

The trick about dressing sexy is to not reveal too much. He’s seen your body.

He knows what you look like naked. The key to a good sexy outfit is as much about what you hide as it is about what you reveal. Knee length boots and a mini skirt will expose only your thighs but can drive him crazy with desire.

To know what he finds sexy, ask. Especially early on in the marriage, he might be hesitant in suggesting what you wear, afraid that he might offend you or make you feel insecure. So you’ll have to be direct. “What color of lingerie do you think I look sexy in?”

An easy way to start getting sexy outfits is to pick a weekend to go shopping. Put it all on him. He gets to pick out anything he wants for you to wear and you agree to wear it. You might be surprised to find what he thinks you look sexy in. Pay attention to his responses after you buy these clothes. Which ones prompt more compliments? Which ones lead to more aggressive (or more sensual) sex when you wear them?

Keep a variety of sexy outfits for the bedroom. While lingerie can quickly get very expensive, you can start with something simple that still arouses him. Buy an inexpensive pair of short shorts and a tight tanktop. You might find that this is his favorite outfit for you to wear. Or maybe a sports bra and leggings. Wear low cut dresses or pair a long top with no pants. All those outfits that women wear to clubs and bars? Well, you get to wear them at home for your husband!

Lingerie is sexy and you’ll definitely want to buy some. Like I said though, it can get expensive and its not the only way to dress sexy. Over time, you can gradually build a collection. If you can, try to buy one outfit a year, maybe for Eid.

Fantasy roleplay goes hand in hand with dressing up. A plaid skirt and button down shirt with a  tie to play a schoolgirl or a nurses outfit or a secretarys outfit. Your imagination is the key.

Finally, there are specific exotic outfits you can purchase. It may be too extreme for more vanilla couples but if you or your husband find dressing up to be arousing, it’s something to consider.

Whether its a latex catsuit, corsets, body harness, body stockings, etc, theres plenty of very exotic sexy clothing you can bring into the bedroom.

Dry humping

Theres a unique sexual tension to dry humping. The friction of your clothes against your labia and clitoris is extremely stimulating. It’s also something that you can do with your husband when you’re on your period.

You can initiate this very easily. When just kissing, just start rubbing up against your husband and let it go from there. Alternatively, you can take him completely by surprise and press your body into his when he’s doing something mundane like watching TV on the couch.

One of the best body parts to dry hump while he’s sitting is his knee. Straddle his thigh and rub your crotch into his kneecap. Other good body parts to grind against are his butt and the heel of his hand.

If you’re in bed, the cowgirl position is best. Straddle him and grind against him until you’re panting.

Touch, touch, touch! It doesnt matter if you have clothes you, the feeling of a hand on your body is arousing. Be handsy with him and have him be handsy with you.

If you’re venturing into BDSM, dry humping works very well with bondage and you being dominant. Tie him up so he can’t move and then slowly grind against him. The tease will drive him crazy.

Breast sex

Men love playing with boobs. Can you blame them? Sometimes women forget how awesome boobs are because they’re always with us 24/7. If you don’t believe how awesome they are, surprise your husband one day by greeting him topless one day. You’ll see where his eyes are trained.

Playing with boobs is great by itself. If you want to kick it up a notch though, there’s boob sex. This is great for when you’re on your period and still want to have sex. It’s also great for when you’re not on your period. It’s just great.

Start with regular foreplay. This is a time when you want lots and lots of lube so have it ready. The wetter, the better. If you know you’re not going to be using condoms, coconut oil makes an excellent lube for this. In addition to the actual lubrication, shiny boobs will arouse your husband even more.

Once you two have gotten into the foreplay, rub his penis over your breasts. Then, cup your hands on either side of your breasts and push it inwards, trapping his penis in between. Interlace your fingers to trap them together. You’ve made the equivalent of a vagina for him to thrust in.

Dont worry if his penis slips out. This happens all the time. You’ll find it happening less and less frequently as you practice but it never completely stops.

There are a number of positions you can use. There are three main ones. Him on top, you on top, and you on your knees. For him on top, lay down on your back with your husband straddling


you over your abdomen. If he’s long enough, you might be able to flick your tongue out to lick him on the upstrokes. For you on top, have him lay on his back and you lay on your front between his legs. Last position is with him sitting down on the bed with you on your knees between his legs. Depending on the size of your breasts, some (or all) of these positions might not be possible. If so, dont worry, there are other ways to have fun!

Pearl Necklace

This is when your husband ejaculates on or around your neck. Yes it’s messy but for some women, there’s an enjoyment in being sexually marked (and for men, enjoyment in sexually marking you). Be sure to close your eyes. If he ejaculates hard, that pearl necklace can turn into a facial and it can sting if his cum enters into your eye

Femoral sex

This is kind of a “oh duh” thing once you think about it. This is mostly for when you’re on your period and are still feeling frisky. You press your thighs together and your husband puts his penis between your thighs. I’d highly recommend lube if you don’t want your husband’s penis to get sore.

Most couple do a quicky. It releases the sexual tension. “Quickie sex” refers to sex that lasts a very short amount of time. Think less than THREE minutes from beginning to end. You both might actually not even completely take off your clothes during it!

This is not a romantic type of sex session. This is more of an expression of lust and unbridled sexual tension. Both types of sex are necessary for a healthy relationship.

As Muslims, the greatest obstacle to a quickie is the fact that you have to know that you can take a ghusl before the next prayer time ends. This makes it a lot harder to have an afternoon quickie in your husband’s office behind closed doors. There are still times you can make it work, however. For example, in the morning!

After Fajr and before he leaves for work is a great time. If he’s asleep and ahs morning wood, wake him up with a blowjob. When he’s awake, climb up and ride him.

Shower sex

Its Sunnah so you have to at least try it.

If you wear makeup, remove it before getting in the shower. You don’t want mascara streaming down your face while trying to look seductive!

The best part about shower sex isn’t the actual sex, it’s the intimacy and foreplay. The water isn’t just a backdrop! Have your husband wash you and vice versa. Lather up and clean every inch of his body. Alternate between using your palms and using a loofah. Feel every nook and cranny of his body. Alternate who’s under the water! This is intimate in and of itself.

Sometimes, all you want after a hard day is showering together, no actual sex in the shower. Make sure to use a silicone or hybrid lube because the water is going to rinse away all the natural lubrication.

If you do have sex, before you let him enter you, make sure you rinse all the soap off of both of you. You don’t want the soap coming into your vagina and causing an infection!

Shower sex is fun but it can be dangerous. This isn’t the time to try contorted positions. You want to be firmly grounded when you actually have sex. You can be pushed against the wall (or pushing him against the wall), bent over and holding on to something, or sit on the floor. If you two really enjoy in, consider investing in a suction cup handle to give help support yourself in the shower.

Because the shower really cleans everything up, this is a great time to give or receive oral sex by you from your husband.

What if you want to be dominant?

Take the lead. Grab him by the hand and lead him to your bed. Or, push him onto the bed and start unbuttoning his shirt. Even the most rough and masculine guys will be turned on by their wife taking the lead. Try and be assertive. Be the one who turns foreplay into sex. Push him onto his back, straddle him, and take control. If you’ve never done it before, you’ll be astonished by how much it turns him on.

Things you can do to rough sex up:

Grab his hair. To pull hair correctly, push your nails up the back of your husband’s neck and into his scalp. Grab his hair from his roots. This is very important and makes a distinction between pleasure and too much pain. Grab the roots, not anywhere else. Your nails should be grazing into his scalp while you do this.

Scratching and biting. Digging your nails into your partner’s back and holding them tightly lets them know how turned on you are. Don’t worry, your husband can take the pain.

Being immobilized is also a great feeling. Have your husband pin your arms down and not let be able to move as he has sex with you. Turn it the other way at times and attempt to immobilize him as you have sex with him. This might require some suspension of disbelief since he probably is able to move even if you pin him down. But the fantasy is part of the fun!

Make sure to have lube handy so that you don’t have any vaginal bleeding due to microtears from him thrusting too hard.

Maybe you want your husband to be rougher and he’s not getting the hint. Communication is key here. Tell him what you like, “I get so wet when you grab my hair in bed.” Or “I orgasm so hard when you throw me down and take control”

Rough sex goes together with dirty talk. Some women really find it arousing to have a specific term they use to refer to their husband when having rough sex. Some go with “Sir” others with “daddy” or others with something they’ve come up with. Find something that turns you on and use it. Some women find it arousing to be objectified by name when having rough sex. For example, being called a whore or a slut or a bitch. Finding that you’re aroused by these when having sex does not mean that you have some hidden inferiority complex or you’re less of a feminist. Being called names like this when enacting a fantasy with your husband who loves and respects you does not mean you think these words are appropriate to be used by men towards


other women.

Public sex

Public sex is a common fantasy. Unfortunately, this is going to be next to impossible to do. The one time you can do it is if you can rent a private property. If you can rent a farm in a rural location that has wide acreage or a private island, you might have a chance. If you can snag one of these, having sex under the open air is breathtaking and an unforgettable experience.

Anal play

Having anal sex is haram. Extremely haram.

Whether this applies only to anal sex or even to things like sticking fingers there. I would recommend playing it safe and not inserting anything into the anus. There are simply too many things which are perfectly halal to risk doing something so strongly condemned.

Threesomes

THIS IS AGAIN HARAAM IN ISLAM. I wouldn’t even have included this except when looking at online forums, I found several Muslims asking this. It should come as no surprise to you that no, you can’t have a threesome. Even if you are in a polygamous marriage and your husband has a co-wive, he can’t have sex with both of you at once. You still have awrahs in front of each other.

The simple things

This book is a sex manual but it wouldnt be complete by not reminding you   pleasure and

intimacy is more than just what we’ve talked about so far. There is real pleasure in just looking at your husband, smiling at his antics, or just holding him close to you, enveloped in his arms.

May you have a blessed and peaceful marriage. Ameen.

50 Facts About Your Wife.

Source of the article :MUSLIM WOMAN  https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2340536502637333&id=421016514589351
May Allah SWT bless our wives, mothers, sisters & daughters. Ameen
1- Your wife is not perfect, forgive her.

2- Your wife is the bone of your bone, do not break her.

3- Your wife is a gift, appreciate her.

4- Your wife is a rare gem, guide her jealously.

5- Your wife is your best friend, be friendly with her.

6- Your wife is your joy, nourish her.

7- Your wife is to be cherish, be cheerful to her.

8- Your wife is your portion, cherish her.

9- Your wife is not a devil, don’t dump her.

10- Your wife is not only good for sex, carry her along in every issue.

11- Your wife is not your enemy, encourage her.

12- Your wife is not a family material, never commit her unto the hand of your family members.

13- Your wife is not your rival, don’t compete with her.

14- Your wife is a female gender, honor her.

15- Your wife is not common, don’t compare her.

16- Your wife is not a wash hand base, stop abusing her.

17- Your wife is a weaker vessel, handle her with care.

18- Your wife is a beautiful queen, celebrate her.

19- Your wife is not a fighter, don’t fight her.

20- Your wife is not a punching bag, don’t beat her.

21- Your wife is not a game, don’t play her.

22- Your wife need foreplay, don’t rape her.

23- Your wife is a hook, get hook to her.

24- Your wife is all you love, praise her.

25- Your wife is important, honor her.

26- Your wife is what you make her to be, accept her.

27- Your wife is your joy, pursue her.

28- Your wife needs your honor, never embarrass her in the public.

29- Your wife is not a knife, be nice to her.

30- Your wife is a distinct personality, never compare her to any work.

31- Your wife is loyal, don’t be suspicious of her.

32- Your wife is not a fool, listen to her advice.

33- Your wife is not malicious, do not keep malice with her.

34- Your wife is the best friend you can have, befriend her.

35- Your wife is not a napkin, do not misuse her.

36- Your wife is not your house girl, support her in the kitchen.

37- Your wife is passionate, do not by- pass her.

38- Your wife is very important to you, do not abandon her.

39- Your wife is a queen, do not quarrel with her.

40- Your wife is not the only owner of the sit, help her to baby sit.

41- Your wife is reasonable, do not under- rate her.

42- Your wife is your responsibility, provide for her.

43- Your wife is yourself, do not separate her bed.

44- Your wife is number one in your life, priorities her

45- Your wife is your treasure, jealously guide her.

46- Your wife need your help, help her.

47- Your wife need your full attention, do not give it to T.V set.

48- Your wife is valuable, add more value to her.

49- Your wife is your crown, do not abandon her.

50- You will account to Allah SWT about your wife, handle her with care. She may be or seem fragile, but is strong.

May Allah SWT bless our wives, mothers, sisters & daughters. Ameen

SOME MARRIAGE TIPS:

TIP ONE : DAILY TALK WITH EACH OTHER ATLEAST FOR 10-15 MINUTES. It is VERY IMPORTANT TO BE ALONE TOGETHER AWAY FROM ALL OTHERS INCLUDING CHILDREN.YOU CAN TAKE TEA TOGETHER WHILE TALKING .
TIP TWO: LOOK AT HIS/HER PLUS POINTS. WE ALL HAVE NEGATIVE POINTS. DONT TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE POINTS.
TIP THREE: DONT FIGHT, FIRST COOL OFF. THAN TALK AND TRY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. THERE IS NO EGO BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE. SO IF YOU ARE WRONG, IMMEDIATELY ASK FORGIVENESS.
TIP FOURGIVE A HUG TO HER. SHE NEEDS YOUR LOVE AND CARE.

The truth of the matter is far more women receive erotic or sensual massages than the public is aware of.

This massage can focus on certain areas  like the breasts, lower abdomen, inner thighs near his/her private parts.

 Logically, anything that increases blood flow to the pelvis increases sensitivity, arousal.

First Back massage:"At first you're on your stomach, so they're just massaging your back, Lightly caress your S.O.'s neck, shoulders, arms, back, and buttocks with your fingertips  for at least five minutes.

Second Front Massage:" Then they turn you over. [My masseur] started massaging my breasts. My nipples got erect, so that must have sent him a signal. Nipple play is also important. "Nipple stimulation is processed in the same region of the brain as touch to the clitoris and penis, so lightly stimulating the area around the nipple (the areola) on both men and women can be very stimulating," says Laino. "It will increase blood flow to both the nipples and to the genital area. And don't forget the abs! This is a hot spot for both men and women—especially the area between the belly button and genitals, says Laino. "Massaging this area can make the pelvic floor muscles contract," she says. That sends blood flow straight to the genitals, she says. 

 He started rubbing me on the pressure points around my hips. Giving his or her inner thighs a rubdown. "The inner thighs, for ladies and gents, are very sensitive because they're so close to the genitals. He never actually touched my clitoris or vagina; it was just all around the area.  This guy was a master of temptation. He would get oh so close, closer... and then back away.

 My legs spread apart almost involuntarily as I waited for him to start the sexy part.

Ok, now that your S.O. is primed and ready, onto the good stuff:

For Him
Warm up some massage oil by rubbing it with both hands, then spread it all over his penis and testicles. Place one hand on the shaft of his penis, and start stroking it in an up and down motion, says Cadell. Meanwhile, use the other hand to gently roll his testicles in your palm. Do this in slow-mo for at least a few minutes.

Next, gently rub his penis with both hands as if rubbing a stick to make a fire, then gradually segue into a corkscrew motion, where one hand twists up while the other twists down.

Now concentrate on massaging his penis from top to bottom, covering the head and sliding your hands down to the base—one after another—in a fluid motion. "Do this for about 10 strokes and don't be surprised if he suddenly climaxes because this stroke makes him feel like he's inside a wet vagina," says Cadell. MeOw.

For Her
"On the female genitals, it's best to switch to a water-based lubricant because if oil gets inside the vagina, it can cause irritation," says Cadell. Make sure to warm the lube with your hands first before placing them in her vagina.  
Nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm

Start by focusing on the vulva, which is the outside visible area of the vagina, says Cadell. Gently rub the lube around her vaginal lips all the way down to her anus.

Gently part her outer lips with both of your thumbs, caressing them in circular motions for at least two minutes. Slide your thumbs up and down her outer lips until they're spread apart, then do the same with her inner lips. "The inner lips are more sensitive, so use less pressure," says Cadell. "Watch for her body language and for the swelling of her vaginal lips, which is a natural progression when a woman gets aroused."

Finally, gently slide your thumb and forefinger up and down the sides of the clitoris for about 10 strokes. Massage the head of the clitoris in circular motions using your forefinger and thumb. "You may feel it growing as it becomes more excited, and with the clitoris containing about 8,000 nerve fibers, don't be surprised if she has a body-melting, earth-shattering orgasm," says Cadell. Game. Set. Match.

Source of the article:: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/how-to-give-happy-ending-massage