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Sunday, November 07, 2004

18 Body Language Clues That Say He's Interested -- Definitely

18 Body Language Clues That Say He's Interested -- Definitely
By Tracey Cox

It's nerve-wracking isn't it? No matter where you meet a guy -- at a bar, a friend's house or even church -- the facts remain: You have to wonder what he's thinking and whether he really likes you. But did you know that men are pre-programmed to send out physical clues when they're interested in a woman? Read this excerpt of Superflirt by Tracey Cox and learn how to read any guy's body language with ease.

Legend has it that men make the first move, then plead, cajole, wine, dine and basically bribe (via chocolates, flowers and dinner dates) women into their bachelor pads to either a) have their wicked way or b) get down on bended knee. Women -- sweet, passive, delicate little flowers that we are -- start out strong by defying his attentions, until sheer persistence breaks down our resistance and we agree to...a sherry. Meanwhile, we fill our days by reading romance novels and peering from behind closed curtains, on the watch for knights on big white stallions.

What a load of crap. Women have always made the first move and orchestrated the pace, flow and direction of romantic relationships. Masters of intuition and emotional manipulation, adept at body language, able to gauge the emotional temperature of a room quicker than our nipples stiffen in a breeze, you can bet on it that if he's on his way over, armed with courage and a pickup line, you were the one who lured him.

Women choose from no less than 52 moves to show men they're interested. The average man chooses from a maximum of 10 to attract a female. Good news then, that the average female is usually very good at deciphering body language. Just in case you're not, I've included the obvious, along with signals that are more subtle, secretive and (occasionally) downright loony.

He'll serve you an eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they like us back, they raise their eyebrows. The whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens everywhere in the world -- to everyone regardless of age, race, or class. Lifting our brows pulls the eyes open and allows more light to reflect off the surface, making them look bright, large and inviting. A flash might be easy to miss but they're so reliable, if you do spot one, you may know someone likes you before they've even registered it themselves. Deliberately extend it for up to one second and you've drastically upped the chances of him getting the message you're interested.

His lips part. If he likes what he sees, his lips will automatically part for a moment when your eyes first lock.

His nostrils flare and his face generally "opens". The raised brows, parted lips, flaring nostrils and wide eyes give the whole face a friendly "open" expression.

He'll try to attract your attention. For some men, this might mean a subtle tie adjustment along with a silent prayer that you'll notice the flash of movement. Others turn into Bippo the Clown and become so loud and boisterous, they're practically juggling and doing handstands. Any exaggerated movement or gesture usually means he's trying to stand out from the group. Another giveaway: he'll unconsciously detach from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual.

He'll stroke his tie or smooth a lapel. We all know what these preening gestures mean. They're the equivalent of the female lip lick -- "I want to look good for you."

He'll smooth or mess up his hair. Which gestures he chooses depends on his hairstyle and what's going to make it look more flattering. Guys do this involuntarily and more often than you think. Glance back next time you trot off to the restroom and I bet his hands will be on their way to touching his hair.

His eyebrows remain slightly raised while you're talking. A slightly surprised, quizzical expression means he finds you fascinating. Or completely nuts. Quite frankly, either are preferable to a man who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes. That one simply finds you boring.

He'll fiddle with his socks and pull them up. In the old days, men only dressed up on special occasions, and while the suit might have survived months in mothballs, the socks invariably continued to get worn (to death). Hence, why he spent half the night pulling them up, in an attempt to look the part. It's an extension of preening and it's astonishingly accurate. If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it's an almost 100 percent sign he's interested and trying to look his best.

Everything is erect. Ahem. What I mean is he'll stand with all his muscles pulled tight, to show his body off to best advantage. He'll also stand directly in front of you to show full attention and lean forward to get closer.

He'll let you see him checking out your body. Some experts call it "visual voyaging" -- his eyes take a little cruise around your body, stopping momentarily at the prettiest ports. Don't kid yourself: he scanned your body automatically the second he laid eyes on you. The difference here is that he's letting you see him do it. The message: I'm considering you as a sexual partner.

He'll spread his legs while sitting opposite, to give you a crotch display. He's letting you have a good look at what's on offer. Hopefully, he still has his jeans or pants on at the time.

He'll stand with hands on hips. This accentuates his physical size and suggests body confidence. It's also a pointing gesture. We point with our hands at our own best sexual assets and also at the parts of our body where we'd most like to be touched. If he spends the night with his hands on his hips, fingers splayed and pointing downward, he's willing you to look, touch and admire the part he's proudest of. All subconscious, of course. Well, it is in most cases...

He'll play with the buttons on his jacket, buttoning and unbuttoning it. It's a displacement activity (fiddling) because you've made him a little nervous, plus an unconscious desire to remove his clothes. The next stage is to push the jacket open and hold it there by putting his hands on his hips. If he takes it off completely, he's imagining his shoes under your bed.


He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you. If he's interested, he'll stroke his cheek up and down with the back of his fingers, touch his ears, or rub his chin. It's a combination of nervous excitement, preening and autoerotic touching. When we're attracted to someone, our skin (most noticeably our lips and mouth) become increasingly sensitive to touch and other stimulation. If you smoke, you'll take more drags on your cigarette. If you're drinking, you'll take more sips. You start touching your own mouth more because your lips are ultra sensitive and it feels good. Plus, it plants the idea in the other person's mind that it could be a good idea to kiss you.

He'll start squeezing his glass or can or roll it from side to side, slightly squeezing it as he does so. When men are sexually interested, they start playing with circular objects. Why? They remind him of your breasts: his body is "leaking" what's happening in his subconscious mind.

He'll perch on the edge of his seat to get closer. And if he crosses his legs, the top leg will point in your direction

He'll guide you by putting his arm on your elbow or in the small of your back. The arm guide isn't just good manners and a polite way of guiding you through a crowd; he's making sure he knows exactly where you're going by taking you there. He doesn't want to lose you! It also shows you're being "taken care of" so no other men need volunteer. Along with the arm guide, there'll be lots of accidentally-on-purpose touches.

He'll lend you his coat or sweater. Few guys would be happy to return from the bar to find their girlfriend's evening dress covered by another guy's jacket. Never mind if her teeth were chattering from life-threatening hypothermia. He wants it to be his jacket because it's a protective, sexy, ownership gesture. It says "what's mine is yours," something that's been close to their skin is now close to yours (and vice versa when you give it back). It smelled of him to begin with; it'll smell of you when you return it. Plus, it links you: he has to hang around to get it back.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

For we do not know, perhaps this time will never come again, for the spoiler of pleasures, i.e., death, which must come to all men

thanx
saleem

 

The virtue of the last ten days of Ramadaan and Laylat al-Qadr


Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessings be upon the Trustworthy Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to strive hard (in worship) during the last ten days of Ramadaan in a way that he did not strive at any other times. (Muslim, 1175, from ‘Aa’ishah). Among the things he did were secluding himself in I’tikaaf and seeking Laylat al-Qadr during this time. (Al-Bukhaari, 1913; Muslim, 1169). In al-Saheehayn it is reported from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that when the last ten days of Ramadaan came, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would stay up at night, wake his family and gird his loins. (al-Bukhaari, 1920; Muslim, 1174). Muslim added: he strove hard and girded his loins.

Her phrase “girded his loins” is a metaphor for his preparing himself to worship and strive hard in worship, more than usual. It has the meaning of “rolling up one's sleeves” to worship (i.e. getting ready to make a great deal of effort).

It was also said that it was a metaphor for keeping away from women and abstaining from sexual relations.

The phrase “stay up at night” means that he would stay awake, spending the night in prayer, etc. It was reported in another hadeeth that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “I never saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) recite the entire Qur’aan in one night, or spend a whole night in prayer until the morning, or fast an entire month, except in Ramadaan.” (Sunan al-Nasaa’i, 1641). The words “stay up at night” may mean that he spent most of the night in worship, or that he did not stay up for the entire night, but he did that at the times of ‘Ishaa and Suhoor, and other times, in which case it would mean that he stayed up for most of the night.

The phrase “and wake his family” means that he would wake his wives to pray qiyaam. It is known that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to wake his wives all year round, but he used to wake them to spend part of the night in qiyaam. In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) woke up one night and said, “Subhaan Allaah! What tribulations have come down tonight! What treasure has come down tonight! Who will wake up the dwellers of the apartments? There may be women who are clothed in this world and naked in the Hereafter.” (al-Bukhaari, 1074). It was also reported (in Saheeh al-Bukhaari) that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to wake ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when he wanted to pray Witr. (al-Bukhaari, 952). But when he woke his wives during the last ten nights of Ramadaan, this was more persistent than at other times of the year.

The fact that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did this indicates the importance he attached to worshipping his Lord and making the most of this special time.

The Muslim should follow the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), for he is the best example, and he should strive hard in worshipping Allaah. He should not waste the hours of these days and nights. For we do not know, perhaps this time will never come again, for the spoiler of pleasures, i.e., death, which must come to all men, may come and snatch him and his life will end; then he will feel regret at the time when regret will be of no avail.

Among the unique virtues of these special nights is that Laylat al-Qadr is among them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Haa-Meem. [These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur’aan and none but Allaah (Alone) knows their meanings.]

By the manifest Book (this Qur’aan) that makes things clear.

We sent it (this Qur’aan) down on a blessed night [(i.e. the Night of Al-Qadr) in the month of Ramadaan]. Verily, We are ever warning [mankind that Our Torment will reach those who disbelieve in Our Oneness of Lordship and in Our Oneness of worship].

Therein (that night) is decreed every matter of ordainments.

As a Command (or this Qur’aan or the Decree of every matter) from Us. Verily, We are ever sending (the Messengers),

(As) a mercy from your Lord. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.” [al-Dukhaan 44:1-6]

Allaah sent down the Qur’aan on this night which the Lord of the Worlds has described as blessed. It was reported from a group of the Salaf – including Ibn ‘Abbaas, Qutaadah, Sa’eed ibn Jubayr, ‘Ikrimah, Mujaahid and others – that the night on which the Qur’aan was sent down was Laylat al-Qadr.

The phrase Therein (that night) is decreed every matter of ordainments means, on that night the destiny of all creatures for the coming year is decreed. On that night it is written who will live, who will die, who will be saved, who will be doomed, who will be destined for Paradise, who will be destined for Hell, who will be granted honour, who will be humiliated, where drought and famine will occur, and everything else that Allaah wills in that year.

What is meant by the idea that the destiny of all creatures is written on Laylat al-Qadr is – and Allaah knows best – that on Laylat al-Qadr they are transferred from al-Lawh al-Mahfooz. Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “You may see a man furnishing his home or plowing his field, and he is one of those who are going to die,” i.e., it has been decreed on Laylat al-Qadr that he is one of those who are going to die (in the coming year). And it was said that on this night, the destiny of people is shown to the angels.

The meaning of “Qadr” is veneration or honour, i.e. it is a night that is venerated because of its special characteristics, and because the one who stays up during this night becomes a man of honour. And it was said that Qadr means constriction, in the sense that the knowledge of precisely when this night is, is hidden. Al-Khaleel ibn Ahmad said: it was called Laylat al-Qadr because the earth is constricted by the great numbers of angels on that night, and Qadr means constriction. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “But when He tries him, by straitening his means of life [fa qadara ‘alayhi rizqahu]…” [al-Fajr 89:16], i.e., by constricting or reducing his provision.

And it was said that Qadr means Qadar, i.e., that on this night the decrees for the coming year are ordained, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Therein (that night) is decreed every matter of ordainments” [al-Dukhaan 44:4]

  1. and because Allaah’s decrees are decided and written down on this night.

So Allaah has called it Laylat al-Qadr, because of its great value and high status with Allaah, and because so many sins are forgiven and so many faults are concealed during this night. For it is the night of forgiveness, as it was reported in al-Saheehayn from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever stays up during Laylat al-Qadr out of faith and in the hope of earning reward, all his previous sins will be forgiven.” (al-Bukhaari, 1910; Muslim, 760).

Allaah has given this night special characteristics which make it unique:

  1. It is the night on which the Qur’aan was sent down, as we have stated above. Ibn ‘Abbaas and others said: “Allaah sent down the Qur’aan at one time from al-Lawh al-Mahfooz to Bayt al-‘Izzah in the first heaven, then it was revealed to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in stages according to events over twenty-three years.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/529)

  2. Allaah described it as being better than a thousand months, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): “The night of al-Qadr is better than a thousand months” [al-Qadr 97:3].

  3. Allaah described it as being blessed, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): “We sent it (this Qur’aan) down on a blessed night” [al-Dukhaan 44:3].

  4. On this night, the angels and the Spirit [al-Rooh] descend, “i.e., many angels descend of this night because it is so blessed, and the angels come down when Allaah’s blessing and mercy come down, just as they come down when Qur’aan is recited, and they surround the circles of dhikr (gatherings where Allaah is remembered), and they beat their wings for the one who sincerely seeks knowledge, out of respect for him.” (See Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/531). The Spirit [al-Rooh] is Jibreel (peace be upon him), who is specifically mentioned in this manner as a sign of respect for him.

  5. This night is described as peace, i.e., it is safe, for the Shaytaan cannot do any evil or cause any harm on this night, as Mujaahid said. (See Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/531). On this night, many people are saved from punishment because of what they do to worship Allaah, may He be glorified.

  6. “Therein (that night) is decreed every matter of ordainments” [al-Dukhaan 44:4 – interpretation of the meaning], i.e., the affairs of that year are dispatched from al-Lawh al-Mahfooz to the angels who record the decrees: who will live, who will die, what provision people will be given, what will happen until the end of that year, every matter of ordainments is decreed, and it cannot be altered or changed. (See Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/137, 138). All of this is already known to Allaah before it is even written down, but He makes known to the angels what is to happen, and commands them to do whatever they are enjoined to do. (Sharh Saheeh Muslim li’l-Nawawi, 8/57).

  7. Allaah forgives the previous sins of the one who stays up and prays during this night out of faith and in hope of earning the reward from Him. It was reported in the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever fasts the month of Ramadaan out of faith and in the hope of earning reward, all his previous sins will be forgiven, and whoever stays up during Laylat al-Qadr out of faith and in the hope of earning reward, all his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Agreed upon). The phrase “out of faith and in the hope of earning reward” means, believing in Allaah’s promise of reward for this, and seeking the reward, with no other aim or purpose, such as showing off etc.” (Fath al-Baari, 4/251).

Allaah has revealed a soorah concerning this night which will be recited until the Day of Resurrection, in which He mentions the honour and great value of this night. This is the soorah in which He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, We have sent it (this Qur’aan) down in the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree).

And what will make you know what the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is?

The Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is better than a thousand months (i.e. worshipping Allaah in that night is better than worshipping Him a thousand months, i.e. 83 years and 4 months).

Therein descend the angels and the Rooh [Jibreel] by Allaah’s Permission with all Decrees,

(All that night), there is peace (and goodness from Allaah to His believing slaves) until the appearance of dawn.” [al-Qadr 97:1-5]

The phrase And what will make you know what the Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is? serves to draw attention to the importance and great significance of this night.

The Night of Al-Qadr (Decree) is better than a thousand months means, it is better than over eighty three years, as we have already mentioned. This is a great virtue, the value of which no one can fully understand except the Lord of the Worlds, may He be blessed and exalted. This encourages the Muslim to spend this night in prayer and to seek the Face of Allaah by doing so. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to seek this night, hoping to gain some good from it, and he is the example for this Ummah.

----- Original Message -----
From: shakil.a
Sent: Thursday, November 04, 2004 3:14 PM
Subject:  Probability of the Lailatul Kadr

Knowledge which is concealed is lost

As'salaamu alaikum va rahmathullahi va barakathuhu!!

 
"Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem"
 
Block these dates and timing....!!!!!!!!!
 

Thursday
04-Nov-04
Saturday
06-Nov-04
Monday
08-Nov-04
Wednesday
10-Nov-04
Friday
12-Nov-04


Timing: Evening Maghrib to next Day Fajr
 
 One of these odd nights of ramadhan could be "The Night of Power".
Let us not take any chances to miss this "Night of Power" during this year's ramadhan.  

Ahadeeth

Hadith from Sahi Bukhari Vol 1, Book 2. Belief. Hadith 034

Narrated By Abu Huraira : Allah's Apostle Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam said, "
Whoever establishes the prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah's rewards (not to show off) then all his past sins will be forgiven."

Narrated By Ibn Abbas : The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi wasallam said, "
Look for the Night of Qadr in the last ten nights of Ramadan ,' on the night when nine or seven or five nights remain out of the last ten nights of Ramadan (i.e. 21, 23, 25, respectively)."


What is "The Night of Power"? - an anology

One of the common thafseer telling the virtue of this night is that the deeds performed during this night are multiplied by the deeds of 83 years, ie. 1000 months as what Allah has mentioned in the above verse of the Holy Quran. This is a straight forward interpretation. Alhamdhulillah.

But, if we take a closer look, what ulema say is that, What can not be achieved in 83 years of devotion and supplication can be attained in just one night in terms of getting closer to Allahu tha'laa and seeking forgiveness from Allahu tha'laa, because of the "Power" that this night possesses.

Imagine a rocket made of paper and the real one. The paper rocket is propelled by our hands. It travels a distance of few yards and falls down. It can hardly carry any pay-load with it. But take the case of a real rocket that is propelled thru highly condensed liquified helium gas. It is propelled from a launch pad with a HUGE velocity called the escape velocity which helps the rocket and it's pay-load escape from the atmosphere and enter the cosmos. The rocket also places it's pay-load (the satellite) at it's appointed orbit. The pay-load (satellite) will change the destiny of the world by it's varied features and functionalities.

Same is the effect of the "Night of Power". It has a power equal to that of 1000 months. Just imagine the momemtum it will possess. The pay-load are our ibaadha and dhua for our hidaayath (guidance) and magfirath (forgiveness). If launched properly with utmost devotion and sincerity, our deeds and dhuas reach Allahu tha'laa thru the virtual channel of this "Power of Night" and change our destiny forever as how the satellite placed in it's appointed orbit changes the destiny of the world from where it was launched.

I tried my best to give a simple analogy based on the explanations that i heard/read from ulema. May Allah bless us all with the proper understanding of HIS dheen, aameen.


Activities on the "Night of Power"
 

  • Nafl Namaz after usual tharaveeh (qiyaam-al-lail)
  • Dhikr - rememberance of Allahu tha'laa
  • Dhua for self, family and the whole of mankind
  • Recitation of Holy Quran
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said about Lailatul-Qadr:

It as narrated by Abu Hurayra that Prophet said, "Anyone who stays awake for the Night Of Power with belief and for the pleasure of Allah, all his previous sins will be forgiven."

Reported by Bukhari and Muslim

It has also been reported by Aisha, the wife of the Prophet (pbuh) who said:

"I asked the Messenger Of Allah if I knew which night was the Night of Power and what Prayer I should say during that night? He said to me: Say:

"O Allah! You are forgiving and you love forgiveness, so you too forgive me."
(Allahumma innaka afuwwun - tuhibbul afwa - fa'fu anni.)
 



 
My dear brothers and Sisters,
 
Let us not get deprived of the great benefits of "The Night of Power". Shaithaan is always waiting to make us deprived of the blessings of Allahu tha'laa. Let us not become a pray for Shaithaan's game plan. Let us plan our work properly and make sure that we earn the full benefits of this great night by performing all the above mentioned acts of worship on all these 5 odd numbered nights and NOT just on the 27th night.
 
The 27th night is just fixed to complete the quran recitation in tharaweeh and it has just 20% probability of being the "Night of Power" as any other odd numbered nights. But, it is a sad situation that most of our brothers go to the masjid ONLY on that night, take part in some congregational prayers, come home and sleep.
 
May Allah give us the thowfeeq to stand in prayers and sit in supplication all thru these 5 nights in this last part of the holy month of ramadhan. Please remember this poor guy for his forgiveness and entrance into Jannathul Firdhouse - aameen.
 
Pass-on the message to all our brothers and sisters
 
Brothers, let us atleast stay in the masjid during these 5 nights if we are unable to stay in i'tikaaf for the whole of last 10 days of ramadhan.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

The Old Man

The Old Man

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the
car and started it up.

After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window
and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's
an old ghost's face there!"

The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window.

The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his
wits, said, "What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"

The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it,"
to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.

The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the
speedometer says we're doing 80 now."

All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old
man reappeared. "There he is again," the passenger yelled.

He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.

The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they
had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more
tapping.

"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and
screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"

The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the
mud?"
===============================
Gods e mail

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.  So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are good.
   
" God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had  better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good." God was not pleased.
 
So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good,  because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help them keep going.
   
Do you know what the E-mail said?   No?  Just wondering, I didn't get one either........ 

=============================
My teenager, Mike, was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.

"I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the other guys at school started."

Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented...

"I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you."

I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled Mike's hair.

"Yeah..." he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do."

===================================