EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING (EMPATHY) BETWEEN HUSBAND WIFE
Empathy is simply
the act of feeling your
spouse”s emotion as if
walking in his or her shoes. Most
of our marriages lack empathy.
Hidayah (Arabic: هداية, Hidāyah) is an Arabic
word meaning "guidance". According to Islamic
belief, guidance has been provided by Allah to humans primarily in the form of
the Qur'an. May Allah gives us all hidayah. Ameen. It is our obligatory duty to
spread the quranic knowledge as ordered by our beloved Prophet (Peace Be upon
Him).This post is made with this intention. All sources of information are
shown so that the reader can go and read more from the actual source.
Islam
cannot be properly followed without knowledge. It is a rational law and to
follow it rightly one needs to exercise reason and understanding at every step.
Today
the authority for Ijtihād is with the mufti, or Dar al-Ifta, Center of
Rulings, which gives general rulings (fatwā, pl. fatāwā) about an incident or legal question. As
scholars, they are able to look at the entire package of Islam and issue a
ruling on the question at hand.
If there is one fundamental need that exists in
every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and
appreciated. the truth is: both men and women need love, respect, physical and
emotional satisfaction. When a woman’s physical desires are consistently
dismissed or left half-fulfilled, she feels as frustrated as a man in such
situations does; and when a man never hears any words of appreciation or
admiration, he feels as underappreciated and unvalued as a woman in these
situations does.
It is extremely crucial for the health of your
marriage that you sit down with your spouse and figure out what is important to them, and how they’ve always expected you to fulfill those needs for them.
one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse. It is
a denial of a favor Allah 
has blessed us with
Couples
that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of
marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that
they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the
slightest change in words or tone. And as our beloved Aisha 
put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving
Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try
to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in
conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage. Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good
times and in conflict.
TIP
ONE: When your wife/husband is sharing
his or her feelings, show that you
understand their feelings, while
doing so don’t start giving advice. That is not what they are after. They simply
want someone to hear
them out. They need your
ears..
TIP TWO: : Both men and women need love, respect,
physical and emotional satisfaction. So give it to him/her.
TIP THREE: Your
spouse is not mind reader. How will he/she know
if you don’t tell him/her. Share your thoughts and feelings
about your inner world.
TIP
FOUR: You are the only man/woman your spouse is
allowed to look at from head to toe, so please don’t be an eye sore! Yes, make this your
mantra. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt
hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as
important (and as easy) as everything else you do everyday like eating or
sleeping.
TIP FIVE::Make time for each other. there’s just no excuse not to give at least half an hour (okay, 15 minutes when you’re just too exhausted) of undivided attention and love to your spouse. Watch with him his favourite movies. Try to enjoy his hobbies/what he likes to do and vice versa.
Muslim man is allowed to look at the face and hands of a non-mahram lady who is
not related to him. Men, whether they confess it or not, are slaves of lust and
desire.They will eventually look at your bust or hips.
It is a major sin (HARAAM) to deny sexual pleasure to each other.there are certain
times when sex is more recommended:
1. When a women desires it from her husband.
2. When one is attracted to another woman.
It is narrated
from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Any person that sees a woman and is attracted to her
must go to his wife and engage in sexual intercourse with her, because that
which the other woman has, the wife also has, and one must not give Satan a way
into one’s heart..
Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think:
1 Men really are
sex-crazed
The brain's part inked to
sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.
2 They're programmed to be pervert.
The testosterone drives
what Louann calls the "man trance" - a glazed-eye stare at breasts.
She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering
this trance. But the truth is, they can't."
3 Men want more partners
According to the book, men
want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two.
An Artcle by Shobha De:
The truth aboout marriage is that there are no answers. Its the
most complex realtionship on EARTH.
Marraige will always be into FAMILIES,rather than to
individuals.You cant eliminate family,that is what society requires. Today,
marraige is all about a balancing act between children,friends,parents,career
and the sometimes overpowering need to curl up in your own private space.
Give marraige sufficient TIME.
TOLERANCE is a must for any relationship to work.
