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Friday, February 24, 2017

EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING (EMPATHY) BETWEEN HUSBAND WIFE






EMOTIONAL  UNDERSTANDING (EMPATHY)  BETWEEN HUSBAND WIFE

Empathy  is  simply the act  of feeling  your  spouse”s emotion as if  walking  in his or her shoes. Most of our marriages lack  empathy.

Hidayah (Arabic: هداية‎‎, Hidāyah) is an Arabic word meaning "guidance". According to Islamic belief, guidance has been provided by Allah to humans primarily in the form of the Qur'an. May Allah gives us all hidayah. Ameen. It is our obligatory duty to spread the quranic knowledge as ordered by our beloved Prophet (Peace Be upon Him).This post is made with this intention. All sources of information are shown so that the reader can go and read more from the actual source.

Islam cannot be properly followed without knowledge. It is a rational law and to follow it rightly one needs to exercise reason and understanding at every step.
Today the authority for Ijtihād is with the mufti, or Dar al-Ifta, Center of Rulings, which gives general rulings (fatwā, pl. fatāwā) about an incident or legal question. As scholars, they are able to look at the entire package of Islam and issue a ruling on the question at hand.


If there is one fundamental need that exists in every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and appreciated. the truth is: both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction. When a woman’s physical desires are consistently dismissed or left half-fulfilled, she feels as frustrated as a man in such situations does; and when a man never hears any words of appreciation or admiration, he feels as underappreciated and unvalued as a woman in these situations does.

It is extremely crucial for the health of your marriage that you sit down with your spouse and figure out what is important to them, and how they’ve always expected you to fulfill those needs for them.

one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse. It is a denial of a favor Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has blessed us with

 Couples that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone. And as our beloved Aisha raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage. Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict.


TIP ONE: When your wife/husband is sharing  his or her  feelings, show  that you  understand their feelings, while  doing  so  don’t  start giving  advice. That is  not what they are after. They simply want  someone to   hear them out.  They  need your  ears..

TIP  TWO: : Both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction. So give it to  him/her. 

TIP  THREE: Your  spouse is  not mind reader. How  will  he/she know  if you don’t tell  him/her.  Share your thoughts and  feelings  about your inner world. 

TIP FOUR:  You are the only man/woman your spouse is allowed to look at from head to toe, so please don’t be an eye sore! Yes, make this your mantra. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as important (and as easy) as everything else you do everyday like eating or sleeping.

TIP FIVE::Make time for each other. there’s just no excuse not to give at least half an hour (okay, 15 minutes when you’re just too exhausted) of undivided attention and love to your spouse. Watch with him  his  favourite movies. Try to enjoy his  hobbies/what  he likes to do and   vice versa.  

Muslim man is allowed to look at the face and hands of a non-
mahram lady who is not related to him. Men, whether they confess it or not, are slaves of lust and desire.They will eventually look at your bust or hips.

It is a major sin (HARAAM) to deny  sexual pleasure to each other.there are certain times when sex is more recommended:
1. When a women desires it from her husband.49
2. When one is attracted to another woman.
It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Any person that sees a woman and is attracted to her must go to his wife and engage in sexual intercourse with her, because that which the other woman has, the wife also has, and one must not give Satan a way into one’s heart.. 


Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think:
1 Men really are sex-crazed
The brain's part inked to sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.
2 They're programmed to be  pervert.
The testosterone drives what Louann calls the "man trance" - a glazed-eye stare at breasts. She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't."
3 Men want more partners
According to the book, men want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two.

An Artcle by Shobha De:

The truth aboout marriage is that there are no answers. Its the most complex realtionship on EARTH.
Marraige will always be into FAMILIES,rather than to individuals.You cant eliminate family,that is what society requires. Today, marraige is all about a balancing act between children,friends,parents,career and the sometimes overpowering need to curl up in your own private space.
Give marraige sufficient TIME.
TOLERANCE is a must for any relationship to work.
COMMITMENT means one needs to give in sufficiently for a relationship to work.

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