Thursday, April 13, 2017

cutting off relation with relative is a major sin, one will not enter paradise

Source of the above hadith

Source of the article below:

4631: Broken ties of kinship and relationships

What is the meaning of silat al-rahm (upholding the ties of kinship)?
Published Date: 1999-06-09
Praise be to Allaah.
Islam calls for the upholding of the ties of kinship because of the great effect that this has on achieving social cohesion and perpetuating cooperation and love among the Muslims. Upholding the ties of kinship is a duty because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of ) the wombs (kinship)…”
[al-Nisa’ 4:1]
“And give to the kindred his due and to the miskeen (poor)…”
[al-Isra’ 17:26]
Allaah has warned us against cutting the ties of kinship (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who break the Covenant of Allaah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allaah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allaah’s Mercy); And for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).” [al-Ra’d 13:25]
What punishment could be worse than the curse and the evil home that awaits those who sever the ties of kinship ? They deny themselves the reward for upholding the ties of kinship in the Hereafter, in addition to denying themselves much good in this world, which is a long life and ample provision. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5986 and Muslim, 2557). Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Allaah created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (al-rahm) stood up and said, “This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off.” Allaah said, “Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?” It said, “Of course.” Allaah said, “Then your prayer in granted.”’” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Recite, if you wish (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.’ [Muhammad 47:22-23].” (Saheeh Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 16/112).
Once we understand this, we need to ask: who is the one who upholds the ties of kinship? This was explained by the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645).
If the relationship is merely one of returning favours and giving like in return for like, and not taking the initiative, then this is not upholding the ties of kinship, it is only responding in kind. Some people follow the principle of giving a gift in return for a gift, and visiting in return for a visit, so if someone does not give them a gift, they do not give him a gift, and if he does not visit them, they do not visit him. This is not what is meant by upholding the ties of kinship at all, and this is not what is required by Islam. This is merely responding in kind, it is not the higher degree which Islam urges us to reach. A man said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off. I treat them well, but they abuse me. I am patient and kind towards them, but they insult me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “If you are as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot dust in their mouths. Allaah will continue to support you as long as you continue to do that.” (Reported by Muslim with commentary by al-Nawawi, 16/115). Who could bear to put up with hot dust? We seek refuge with Allaah from cutting off the ties of kinship.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017


 You can visit  the original source the read the  full article.

Decentralised treatment options introduced in new rules.

The earlier rules relied on costly centralised facilities for treating and disposing municipal wastes while approximately 50 per cent of it can be easily turned into compost at the local level. Thus, the draft rules have made the much-needed provision for providing incentives to decentralised waste treatment facilities. 

Dear All,

First of all, I would like to ofeer Thanks for incorporating few new aspects like involvement of Informal Sectors (especially the Scrap Dealers) and also emphasising the Decentralised Composting and the Collection of Users' Charge. 
However, I would like to know the scopes for the following too .... 
(a) Adequate provisions with added importance on the Health Concern fo the Waste Pickers / Handlers, be it in case of House to House Collection of Segregated Solid Wastes or the Decentralised Composting or waste trasformation in the Informal Sectors like Scrap Dealers.
(b) Decentralisaion of all others aspects like Source Management, Collection, Segragation, Waste Transformation, M&E etc. apart from that in Composting.
(c) Emphasising the Labour intensive Approach for the decentralised activities, alongwith demotivating the highly mechanised process.
(d) Full stop for the unsustained Waste to Energy Approaches.
(c) Strict efforts for Monitoring and Evaluation

Proper redress for the abovesiad issues may eventually make the whole Solid Waste Management Approach more meaningful and result oriented.
Hoping for the Best and all success for "Near Zero" to "Zero Waste Plan" under each Municipalities.
Thanks and Regards.
Nripendra Kumar Sarma
Guwahati, Assam, India

Decentralised integrated solid waste, waste water and solar energy project at New Motibagh, New Delhi

Waste Water Management: About 70% of the 8 lakh litres of water supplied to the residents, that is, 5.6 lakh litres of waste water generated is treated in a decentralized waste water treatment plant within the campus using the Moving Bed Bio-reactor (MBBR) technology. There is a net savings of Rs.5 lakhs per annum due to direct and indirect savings from a decentralized Waste Water Treatment plant (WWTP) in the campus whose running cost is Rs.55.55 lakhs as opposed to the centralized sewerage system costing Rs.60.62 lakhs.  

The energy savings from 300 solar street lights at the GPRA complex, covering internal roads, common areas, parking lots and bunglows, help in saving Rs.32.28 lakhs per annum. Along with solar water heaters, the savings on electricity is close to Rs.35 lakhs a year.    

Therefore, a decentralised integrated solid waste, waste water and energy project for about 1000 households can achieve clean and green surroundings and financial savings to the tune of Rs.40-50 lakhs per annum

Garbage to gold  at mumbai

Though Gowariker and his colleagues are confident of the technology, they caution that refuse pelletisation is not the only or best way to deal with the growing urban garbage problem. Gowariker points out, "A product mix of compost and fuel pellets may be more appropriate, depending on the financial situation and the demand."

Delhi’s solid waste: a systemic failure

What can Delhi do?
We need hybrid solutions. We need a landfill, but only for rejects and inerts. We need waste to energy, but then such plants should ensure that they run on segregated waste only. With over 50 per cent biodegradable waste, there is high potential to compost or generate biogas out of the segregated wet waste. And all this cannot work, unless we segregate at source. With over thousands of crores being spent on collection and transportation, time has come to think out of the box. We can learn from our neighbours and cities across India that are doing commendable work on waste management.
Look at the Alleypey model, where residents have taken it upon themselves to segregate and treat waste at source. It is the best model in the country on decentralised waste management. We can even look at Panjim; the municipal corporation not only ensures segregation at source, but also segregates dry waste into 30 different categories. And then there is Mysuru, Suryapet, Bobbili and a lot of other cities that are doing commendable work. They have adopted local solutions, not global to become zero-waste cities. The CSE has documented cities that are doing commendable work on waste management.

Government notifies new solid waste management rules

Segregation at source should therefore be at the heart of municipalities’ solid waste management system. The only city that has truly adopted segregation is Panaji. Municipal officials have ensured a citywide system that is designed to collect household waste on different days for different waste streams. This ensures separation. It is combined with penalties for non-segregated waste and has promoted colony-level processing as well. Most importantly, for the bulk of commercial establishments such as hotels it has a bag-marking system so that any non-compliance can be caught and fined.

In Kerala’s Alappuzha segregation happens differently. Here the municipality does not collect waste because it has no place to take it to for disposal. The city’s only landfill has been sealed by villagers who live in its vicinity. This withdrawal of the municipality from waste management has meant that the people have to manage their waste, or be drowned in it. They segregate and compost what they can. The compost is used for growing vegetables and plants in their homesteads. The problem is how to handle all the non-biodegradable waste—paper, plastic, aluminum tins, etc. This is where the government has stepped in. It promotes collection through the already well-organised informal waste-recycling sector. The municipality has ended up saving a huge capital cost it would have otherwise incurred for collection and transportation.

Waste smart cities

Is Quran relevant to Muslims only?

Instead of nonsensical novels, I  used to gift  assamese (quran  bodh)  and english  translation  (Pickthall)  of Quran to all my friends  from other  faiths. Because I believed that  quran is  for  all human beings.
In fact, the Quran addresses human beings as "Ya aiyuhal Nas" (O Humankind) directly 306 times and indirectly more than two thousand times in its over 6,000 verses. In contrast the Quran specifically addresses Muslim men and women (Ya aiyuhal Muslimun/Muslimat/Muslimatun/etc) by name only 49 times. 
Is Quran relevant to Muslims only? What about the humanity.
Read the full article 
Is the Quran only for Muslims? If God is the Lord of the worlds (Quran Quran 1:2) and the Prophet is described as the messenger for the worlds (Quran 21:107) and the Quran is introduced as a reminder to the worlds, (Quran 68:52) then what is the relevance of the Quranic message to the world? How can the world, Muslims and non-Muslims, alike, benefit from the universal message of a universal and compassionate God? Can non-Muslims practice divinely revealed values without acknowledging their original source and without adhering to the total divine call?
In fact, the Quran addresses human beings as "Ya aiyuhal Nas" (O Humankind) directly 306 times and indirectly more than two thousand times in its over 6,000 verses. In contrast the Quran specifically addresses Muslim men and women (Ya aiyuhal Muslimun/Muslimat/Muslimatun/etc) by name only 49 times. How can anyone refuse to share a copy of the Quran with non-Muslims? In fact, the first revelation that the prophet received was first recited by the Prophet to non-Muslims.
Regardless, the Muslim scholarship, by and large, has inadvertently turned the Quran into a manifesto for Muslims only making the argument that Quran is a book of guidance for Muslims primarily. On top of this the use of the Quran has been limited to ceremonial recitation. Is there nothing for the non-Muslim creation of God in the book Muslims attribute to a Merciful and Compassionate God of all. Can a non-Muslim make use of the guidance of the Quran while still remaining outside the fold of Islam? Can Islam be practiced by non-Muslims in its normative sense without adhering to its form ritual structure?
Contrary to what some Muslims might believe the fact is that many human beings, regardless of their relationship with Islam, have on their own reached conclusions that the Quran introduced to the world through revelation. In a way, many non-Muslims have shown a better understanding of the message of the Quran even without fully identifying with Islam than shown by many Muslims.
You  can learn quran online on  your android smart  phone  by  downloading  from google playstore

Friday, March 10, 2017

seven tips how to chat with a girl or woman

seven tips  how  to chat with a girl  or woman

1.She  needs  your ears ,  not your advice. Instead ask for her advice.She can  be very good.

2.SHE SHOULD BE THE  FOCUS: If you really wish to chat with her, make sure you are eager in her choices and ideas. Keep a balance between who texts first. Be a good listener and make sure you talk stuff which is interesting enough and wanted to be heard.

3.Don't behave like a desperate person.Don't comment on how sexy she is in the very  beginning.

 4.Don't insult her.or tell her how girls should be or how they shouldn't be. That pisses a girl off. 

  5.Don't tell her how rich you are and how many famous people you've met. Don't flaunt anything. 

6.Don't be a "Mr. Know it all" .Infact she may  know things better than  you.So listen to her.

7.Once you both have a comfort level, start with all the "bad past" or "what has happened so far in life" talks. 

Monday, March 06, 2017

Heart Attack - how to survive a heart attack when alone


Heart Attack  -  how  to  survive a heart attack  when  alone

Classical symptoms of a heart attack include:

Severe chest pain (like squeezing, or a heaviness, or pressing) at the central or left part of the chest, lasting usually for at least 20 min. The pain may also radiate to the left upper arm, neck or jaw. The pain may feel like a heavy weight on your chest, a squeezing or tightness around the chest, or indigestion/heartburn. Mild chest pain or discomfort in the chest, rather than sudden, crushing pain, is the most common symptom of a heart attack. however, many people, in fact, have a heart attack with little to no chest pain. Symptoms can be quite different from person to person, may appear in mild or severe forms, and may appear and recede and reappear over several hours. Some people can suffer a heart attack after showing only mild symptoms, or no symptoms at all

Other two prominent sign are
·         Profuse sweating and a feeling of impending doom.
·         shortness of breath, nausea,
Most cases of heart attack are caused by a blood clot forming in one of the blood vessels responsible for supplying blood to the heart. The resulting blockage deprives the heart of oxygen-rich blood, causing damage to the heart muscle, which progressively dies. 
Taking an aspirin – the most commonly taken blood thinning medication in the world – during a heart attack improves survival. Taking an aspirin during a heart attack may help as it prevents the clot from getting bigger, giving the body a chance to break down the blood clot. It's always a good idea to keep yourself prepared for a heart attack even if you yourself have no heart issues. A single (80 mg) aspirin can mean the difference between life and death for many people and an aspirin takes up very little space in your wallet or purse.
Nitroglycerin (SORBITRATE TABLET) has not been shown to prevent heart attacks or improve survival substantially during an attack. It is more useful for patients with angina, an altogether different condition where patients experience chest pain or discomfort when exerting themselves.”
Angina results from an imbalance in the supply and demand for blood to the heart, but it is due to a narrowed blood vessel and not to a clot that needs to be broken down. Taking nitroglycerin during such a situation may temporarily expand the narrowed blood vessel and relieve discomfort.
Should you experience a heart attack – regardless of whether you’re alone or in the presence of others – the very first thing to do is to go to  the hospital, ask somebody  to  drive  you  there. You need specialized treatment to be delivered to you as quickly as possible in order to save your heart muscle.
Just know that aspirin and staying calm can and will save your life DONT PANIC
About half of heart attack deaths occur in the first hour, before the victim reaches a hospital.[3] Thus, if you experience a heart attack, it is essential to act quickly in order to maximize your chances of survival. Instead of waiting for the ambulance, go to hospital yourself. Taking aspirin/sorbitrate within the first five minutes of a heart attack, and receiving medical attention within the first hour, can mean the difference between life and death

MY HEART  ATTACK (19.04.2010.)

My wife has gone out to pickup  my  kids from  school bus stop.

No one is  at  home.

I was working on my computer since 9 Morning at my home office. Its about 1230 noon  time. Suddenly I fell down to the left side  from  the chair without  any warning.

There was a fullness  and  heaviness in  the heart  area (NO PAIN) and breathlessness, perspiration on forehead and hands.. I  went  to  the  nearby bedroom and lie down on  the  bed.

And I  took one sorbitrate tablet under the tongue as advised by doctor in such conditions.. And I called my family doctor s.k.chuahan. He told  me  to immediately go to hospital   and  take two more  sorbitrate at 5  minutes intervals.

I tried  my wifes  mobile,  but she  has not picked up phone. Than I  called sayeed  bhai over mobile and asked  him to  come  immediately to under my home balcony .Told  him that I have to  go  to  hospital  immediately as  I feared something is really wrong with me..

I called my  neighbor nafis bhai  over phone to come immediately  with  his  son as I know  that I  cant  walk down the  stairs  from the third floor flat where I stay. They will  have  to carry  me down to  my  car.
By  that  time my  wife arrived with my son. I told  her to  drop  the car keys to sayeed bhai who  is standing below  our  balcony. I asked  sayeed  bhai over  phone to start my car and with the help of  nafis  bhai and his  son  I came down from  my third floor flat.

Sayeed bhai was nervous while driving the car.  I told him not to worry. I asked him  to take me to the  hospital gate through which only ambulance is allowed,  I know  where that gate is.
Sayeed bhai  took me ,wife  and son to emergency gate of Escorts heart Institute, New Delhi  which is  just 15  minutes away  from my home.

IN  EMERGENCY ROOM:  Once inside emergency room , I  stopped  thinking myself and the doctors  took over.  They immediately gave me one handful of tablets of aspirin.
Than they  took me  to  the heart  center. While going, I saw my wife and  son in the verandah from my bed. I will  never  forget  the expression on  their faces. I asked  my wife to call my parents.
In the  heart  center, they  gave me emergency care to  recover me. I heard the nurse say I am slipping and in great pain. I  just closed my eyes and started praying. I heard the  attending doctor to  order a nurse to  push an emergency injection  and told  the nurses to count  to ten  and said I will come back. The nurses finally said I stabilized. Shilling experience of  life.
Than the main doctor Nishit Chandra came and told me that they will go for stenting one day later. They  cant do it immediately  as they have used an emergency injection. I said okay, do as you feel proper.

IN  HEART  CENTER: Before my coronary angiogram (20.04.2010.)
I was allotted a female nurse who stand s  near  me, never sits. They change duties but never leave me alone. I  have a bell also in the bed. With  oxygen mask and all the gadgets  on,  I cant talk. Just signal.
I was in bed when a male nurse  came in with a cart, pulled the curtain closed around me. He announced that he would have to shave my  pubic hairs. WHAT !!! I imagined. And I looked towards the female nurse. The male nurse told  the female nurse to go out  and told her that he will take care of me. She moved out.. After donning a pair of rubber gloves, he removed my clothes. After looking at me he said--" uncle you are very clean, there is nothing much to do for me". I told him that I shave my  hairs in  arm pit and genitals every thirty days as per our religious  belief. He said he will do it cleanly so that the doctors don’t  get any problem. He  started dry shaving from my navel down to the  upper thigh area I was embarrassed because a male is  touching me an area which nobody except my  wife saw. But these people are very professional and very careful about human dignity, I loved this professionalism very much at the hospital. After completion he called back the female nurse.

When they are taking me to the operation  room, I  saw my mother  ,brother  toufique and brother in law rajib who came all the way from Guwahati, Assam. I  told my mother that I will  be okay insha allah, dont worry. She caressed my hairs and did not say anything.  My  father already  had an open heart surgery , so  she is calm, but my wife , I can never forget her  face all  my life.

The room is kept at a cool temperature because of the hi-tech equipment, television screens and monitoring equipment. I was shivering there because of cold temperature. I was asked to move over on to the x-ray table from my bed, which is quite narrow  and  cold. . 

I was lying face up on the x-ray table and awake throughout this procedure and I was asked to lie flat and keep still as possible. They  put a green cloth over my private area and  than  removed my clothes. I saw all  around me only female nurses/technicians and the  main  doctor nishit Chandra with his male junior doctor. He asked me  how I am feeling with a smiling  face. I said okay. He said  it will hardly take 15 minutes. He asked  me why I am shivering,  I  said  maybe  because of the cold  inside the room. He made  me comfortable with words.
Than they started putting all gadgets on my body and Inserted  IV set etc.
I have seen it  in the hospital, they  always tell  me what they are going to do with me before doing anything.
The doctor told me  he is  going to  make very  small cut  in my right groin. And if that  area is not successful ,they will cut  in the left groin. Now I know why  the male nurse shaved  both groin areas.
They removed the green cloth from my right groin area but  still covering my genitals .I loved their concern  for my privacy.
The right groin area is washed and disinfected and then numbed with an injection of local anesthetic. A small incision is made at the right  leg entry site, i hardly felt anything. Doctor let some blood flow from the cut.I can sense the blood  flowing. Than   a short plastic tube (sheath) is inserted into my right  leg artery. The catheter is inserted through the sheath into my blood vessel and carefully threaded to my heart or coronary arteries. I was feeling like ant bites inside my veins.

Contrast liquid is put through the catheter to help my blood vessels and organs show up better. I felt a warm HOT FLASH as the liquid is put into the catheter. Also get a headache .Doctor said it will go  away, don’t worry.

A series of X-rays are taken once the dye is injected. The X-ray machine is moved around me and the bed is moved to obtain the correct position. The x-ray machine  moved close to my chest and  also moved towards my head and from side to side. This enables a complete picture of the heart, arteries and valves to be taken. I was also watching in the monitor my veins.
The doctor told me that I have two arteries  blocked and they  will have to use two stents. I asked him  to look  at my kidney also. He smiled  and told  me it  will cost Rs3000/= more for the dye. I said go for it. He smiled and  said I am his  one of the most knowledgeable patient. They rarely get such educated patient.
Doctor went out to discuss with my family and take permission to do  it.

During angioplasty, the balloon is blown up inside the coronary artery, squashing fatty deposits and widening the narrowed artery. Usually the catheter also carries a short hollow tube made of stainless steel (called a stent) which opens out as the balloon is blown up and is left inside your artery. It is like a tiny piece of scaffolding that holds the artery open.I was implanted with two stent of the drug eluting variety.

The procedure took approximately 45 minutes, not 15 minutes as he said.

They kept me at the operation  theater waiting room for one hour for any emergency.Than they shifted  me to the ICU.
The  nurses keep a pressure dressing, sandbag,  in place over the cut site of  my right  leg to stop bleeding. The nurse will check my blood pressure,  temperature,groin area and feet pulses frequently. They check frequently for swelling  in the cut area. The female nurse who  stand near  me frequently check the groin area for any bleeding.I was bleeding a little. She wipes by her gloved hand  any blood.

Arteries are high-pressure systems. The risk for significant bleeding after an invasive procedure is high. I was lying there  with no  movement  of the leg for  12 hours as the nurse told me.. 

The  nurse who  is attending to me gave me a lot of  water to drink. An increased fluid intake promotes excretion of the contrast medium, reducing the risk of toxicity (particularly to the kidneys). She  gave  me a bedpan to  urinate  as I was urinating very  frequently. I wanted to  urinate myself. She told me that its just 12 hours, after that  you can  move your right legs  where  the cut is made. Till date time  she will do  everything for me. She told  me, don’t worry  uncle, this  is our job. I told  her I cant urinate if she stays near me and watching me. She obliged and went  out. Than she takes away the urinal  and cover me with clothes.. 

The nurse never allowed  me to move even to eat in the first day. The nurse will feed me tablets, coconut water, salad, fruits, oats always by her own  hand.  I feel like I am back to my childhood days with my mother. 


The morning  shift nurses will always come very  early  in the morning. When I got my first sponge bath ,at the start, the three nurses had me sit up, then took off the gown, they covered my legs  by the  blanket. They  sponzed all my  body with warm towel. I told them  I will do my private area myself. They allowed  me  to  do that. I felt so relieved.She  did all this  infront of my wife .I asked my wife  to  be near me all the time.I  gave my wife  a lot of trouble but I  feel  confident  when my  wife is  near me.
 I eventually got used to these early morning baths and things were more or less under control. 

The pictures shown are from  the recovery room. I was assigned one female  nurse .She  gave me medicines, fed  me food and daily gave me back massage , sponze me and  later  powder me to avoid bed sore. She always stays outside the toilet when I am inside and never allowed me to lock from inside. The male nurse daily  gave  me a  shave.
I was also enjoying the TV also. They made me walk outside the room before discharging  me with the following advices.
After coming home: Five steps to follow  daily and regular  visit  after  every six months.
1. Maintaninng Blood pressure  by medicine  and salt  restriction.
2 .Maintaining Cholesterol by medicine and diet  control.
3. Maintaining  Acidity by medicine
4.Using blood thinner as prescribed
5. Maintaining fitness  by walking  daily in  the nearby garden.

May  Allah don’t give such  health problem to any of   my  fellow brothers . Its  a big drain on  money  and mental condition  of the whole  family.
So please get  aware of this silent killer.
Read More About Patient experiences

Monday, February 27, 2017



Social media has evolved from being a meeting place of new friends to a business hub—a way to promote your brand awareness, share blog posts, work photos.
Everything you do on social media should be driven by a marketing strategy.
Marketeers are allocating 10% of their budget to social media.
Social media marketing is all about Sharing case studies, important thoughts, trends and epic ideas. Be transparent and honest. Your audience will love it.
I personally use only facebook and instagram instead of using all other social media.”LESS IS MORE”
1. Be relevant
2. Be visually appealing (PHOTOSHOP)
3. Be clear and concise
4. Include a call to action
Source of the article

Friday, February 24, 2017



Empathy  is  simply the act  of feeling  your  spouse”s emotion as if  walking  in his or her shoes. Most of our marriages lack  empathy.

Hidayah (Arabic: هداية‎‎, Hidāyah) is an Arabic word meaning "guidance". According to Islamic belief, guidance has been provided by Allah to humans primarily in the form of the Qur'an. May Allah gives us all hidayah. Ameen. It is our obligatory duty to spread the quranic knowledge as ordered by our beloved Prophet (Peace Be upon Him).This post is made with this intention. All sources of information are shown so that the reader can go and read more from the actual source.

Islam cannot be properly followed without knowledge. It is a rational law and to follow it rightly one needs to exercise reason and understanding at every step.
Today the authority for Ijtihād is with the mufti, or Dar al-Ifta, Center of Rulings, which gives general rulings (fatwā, pl. fatāwā) about an incident or legal question. As scholars, they are able to look at the entire package of Islam and issue a ruling on the question at hand.

If there is one fundamental need that exists in every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and appreciated. the truth is: both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction. When a woman’s physical desires are consistently dismissed or left half-fulfilled, she feels as frustrated as a man in such situations does; and when a man never hears any words of appreciation or admiration, he feels as underappreciated and unvalued as a woman in these situations does.

It is extremely crucial for the health of your marriage that you sit down with your spouse and figure out what is important to them, and how they’ve always expected you to fulfill those needs for them.

one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse. It is a denial of a favor Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) has blessed us with

 Couples that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone. And as our beloved Aisha raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage. Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict.

TIP ONE: When your wife/husband is sharing  his or her  feelings, show  that you  understand their feelings, while  doing  so  don’t  start giving  advice. That is  not what they are after. They simply want  someone to   hear them out.  They  need your  ears..

TIP  TWO: : Both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction. So give it to  him/her. 

TIP  THREE: Your  spouse is  not mind reader. How  will  he/she know  if you don’t tell  him/her.  Share your thoughts and  feelings  about your inner world. 

TIP FOUR:  You are the only man/woman your spouse is allowed to look at from head to toe, so please don’t be an eye sore! Yes, make this your mantra. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror at your unkempt hair, permanent pyjamas or neglected body. Looking good for your spouse is as important (and as easy) as everything else you do everyday like eating or sleeping.

TIP FIVE::Make time for each other. there’s just no excuse not to give at least half an hour (okay, 15 minutes when you’re just too exhausted) of undivided attention and love to your spouse. Watch with him  his  favourite movies. Try to enjoy his  hobbies/what  he likes to do and   vice versa.  

Muslim man is allowed to look at the face and hands of a non-
mahram lady who is not related to him. Men, whether they confess it or not, are slaves of lust and desire.They will eventually look at your bust or hips.

It is a major sin (HARAAM) to deny  sexual pleasure to each other.there are certain times when sex is more recommended:
1. When a women desires it from her husband.49
2. When one is attracted to another woman.
It is narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Any person that sees a woman and is attracted to her must go to his wife and engage in sexual intercourse with her, because that which the other woman has, the wife also has, and one must not give Satan a way into one’s heart.. 

Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think:
1 Men really are sex-crazed
The brain's part inked to sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.
2 They're programmed to be  pervert.
The testosterone drives what Louann calls the "man trance" - a glazed-eye stare at breasts. She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't."
3 Men want more partners
According to the book, men want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two.

An Artcle by Shobha De:

The truth aboout marriage is that there are no answers. Its the most complex realtionship on EARTH.
Marraige will always be into FAMILIES,rather than to individuals.You cant eliminate family,that is what society requires. Today, marraige is all about a balancing act between children,friends,parents,career and the sometimes overpowering need to curl up in your own private space.
Give marraige sufficient TIME.
TOLERANCE is a must for any relationship to work.
COMMITMENT means one needs to give in sufficiently for a relationship to work.