Sunday, May 29, 2011

How do I remove applications on Face Book?

How do I remove applications on FB?

2 years ago
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Step 1
Log into your Facebook account. If you don't have a Facebook Account, creating one is easy, and anybody can sign up for one. In the upper righthand corner, click on "Settings" then "Account Settings".
Step 2
On the page that comes up, look for "Privacy". Click on the blue button that says "Manage" to the right.
Step 3
On the next page, click "Applications".
Step 4
On the next page that comes up, you will see "Privacy--> Applications". Under that, you will see "Overview/ Settings". Click on "Settings".
Step 5
Click the link on the next page that takes you to the "Applications Page". Here you will find a chart with the list of Applications you have. To the right of each Application, there is a "Remove" button. Click this if you desire to remove the Application.
Hope it helps you. For more information http://www.iyogi.net

2 years ago

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father

THESE ARE NOT MY WORDS.I dont want to be the source of info that may lead ppl astray. Hence I always Cut and paste and also indicate the source. Read my blog at www.saleemindia.blogspot.com

Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father .

But its the mother who always suffers silently at our hands....

Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness)

(Muslim Book 32, Number 6181)

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A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign (Jihaad). The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: "(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Al-Tirmidhi) Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ'i, Sunan Ibn Mâjah)

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Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (A.S.), the great-great-grandson of the Prophet Muhammad is reported to have quoted Imam 'Ali (A.S.) that, "disobedience to parents is a major sin." He also stated that, "if a person looks at the face of his or her parents with wrathful eyes, despite the fact that injustice was done to him or her by the parents, his or her salah (prayer) will not be accepted by God."

According to one of the Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is reported about the status of parents:

"God has commanded that if anybody prays equal to the invocations performed by the prophets, such prayers will do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her parents."'

It has also been related that the very first words which have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are:

"I am God, and there is no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with whom their parents are pleased, and I am displeased with those with whom their parents are displeased."

Prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: "On the Day of Judgment, my person will not be seen by those who drank liquor, those who on hearing my name did not invoke the blessings of God on me, or those who were cursed and disowned by their parents."

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References:

- Holy Qur'an, Abdullah Yusuf 'Ali's Translation

- Bedtime Stories, by Peermohammed Ebrahim Trust

This article appears courtesy of the Islamic Research Foundation International, Inc. 7102 W. Shefford Lane Louisville, KY 40242

http://www.irfiweb.orgYou may email the author at syedhasan14@hotmail.com

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The command to be good to one's parents begins right from the Qur'an. Allah says:

"Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents..." [Noble Quran 4:36]

The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is repeated throughout the Qur'an.

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." [Noble Quran 17:23-24]

The great scholar, Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî (d. 1201CE) explained:

To be kind to one's parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

The Qur'an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them:

"And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination."[Noble Quran 31:14]

The renowned exegete, Shaykh Abdur-Rahman As-Sa'di (d. 1956), says about this verse:

{And to your parents} meaning, be kind to your parents, shower on them love, affection and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them with tender humility, provide for them and never harm them verbally nor physically. [...] Then, Allah mentions the reason why we should be kind to our parents, when He says {His mother bore him in travail upon travail}, that is, the mother bore constant suffering; in pain and hardship from the first moment she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And {his weaning is for two years}, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and pay them back their rights? (Taysîr al-Karîm ar-Rahmân fî Tafsîr al-Kalâm al-Manân)

The Qur'an repeats its mention of the struggles of the mother in yet another passage:

"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims." [Noble Quran 46:15]

In connection to this passage, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy (d. 1976) wrote:

Mother has more rights than father

Although the first part of this verse is a command to do good to both the parents, the second sentence refers only to the hardships suffered by the mother, because they are unavoidable, and no child can be born without them. Every mother has to go through the problems of pregnancy and severe pains of delivery. As against this, it is not necessary for a father that he suffers any hardship in bringing up and educating the child, if he can afford to pay somebody else for these services. This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has given more rights to the mother than anybody else. According to a hadîth he has said,

"Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them."[Mazhari]

"And his carrying and his weaning is in thirty months"[Noble Quran 46:15]

This sentence too describes the hardships suffered by the mother for her baby. It points out that even after suffering hardships during pregnancy and the severe labor pains, the mother does not get respite from toils, because the natural food of the infants is in her breasts, and she has to suckle them. (Shafy, Ma'âriful Qur'ân [Eng. trans.], vol. 7, pp. 795-796)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one's parents. The following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the mother:

A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971 and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)

Commenting on this hadith, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi notes:

This hadith confirms that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence to kind treatment of one's mother over kind treatment of one's father (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 165)

Likewise, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Abdul-Azîz Ibn Bâz (d. 1999) comments on this hadith saying:

So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father. (Majmoo' Fataawaa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi'ah)

He also writes:

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder - responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father.[...] And I have no doubt that my mother - may Allah shower His mercy upon her - had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me. (Majmoo' Fatawa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi'ah)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said in a famous narration:

'Paradise lies at the feet of your mother' [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ'i, Sunan Ibn Mâjah]

What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers.

Shaykh Ibrahîm Ibn Sâlih Al-Mahmud writes:

Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father; because paradise is under the mother's feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something. (Al-Mahmoud, How to be kind to your Parents, p.40)

It is related from Talhah ibn Mu'âwiyah as-Salamî who said:

I came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way of Allah. He asked, "Is your mother alive?" I replied, "Yes." The Prophet then said: "Cling to her feet, because paradise is there." (at-Tabarânî

Shaykh Nidhaam Sakkijihaa comments:

Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of Allah. (Sakkijihaa, Honoring the Parents, p. 52)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) showed us the importance of serving one's parents in the following narration reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud:

I asked the Prophet, 'O Messenger of Allah, what is the best deed?' He replied 'Prayer offered on time.' I asked, 'What is next in goodness?' He replied, 'To be dutiful and kind to one's parents.' I further asked, 'What is next in goodness?' He replied, 'Jihad in the Allah's cause. [Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim]

Just as the Prophet said that kindness to one's parents was of the best deeds, he also said that disobedience to them was amongst the major sins:

"The greatest sins are to associate partners in worship with Allah, to be undutiful or unkind to one's parents, to kill a soul forbidden by Allah and to bear false witness." [Sahîh Bukhârî]

Even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Muslim scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one's mother. By examining the conduct and teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one's parents. Their behavior towards their parents shows Muslims how one is to implement the teachings of the Prophet on honoring parents.

Abdullah Ibn Abbâs (d. 687CE), a companions of the Prophet and a great scholar of Islam, considered kind treatment of one's mother to be the best deed for strengthening or rectifying one's relation with God. He said:

I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect towards one's mother. [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/45]

An even more powerful example is found in the statement of another one of the Prophet's companions, Abdullah Ibn 'Umar (d. 692CE), who was also a great scholar of Islam. It has been related that:Abdullah Ibn 'Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka'bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn 'Umar, "I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn 'Umar?" Abdullah Ibn 'Umar replied, "No, not even one contraction!!" [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]

SubhânAllah (Glory be to God)! The efforts of a man who carries his mother on his back while performing tawâf cannot even repay his mother for a single contraction that she went through for him. Wise indeed was Ibn 'Umar's reply to this man to show him how massively indebted he was to his mother. This is the tremendous value and prestigious position of mothers in Islam!

Yet another example is found in the following prophecy of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):There will come to you with reinforcements from Yemen a man called Uways ibn 'Âmir of the clan of Murâd from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a coin. He has a mother and he has always treated her with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah, Allah will fulfill his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so. [Sahîh Muslim 16/95]

Indeed, later on 'Umar ibn al-Khattâb met Uways who was exactly as the Prophet described, and upon 'Umar's request Uways prayed for him. Commenting on this narration, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimî writes:

What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the Prophet recommended his Sahabah [companions] to seek him out and ask him to pray for them!All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood, and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both. (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 167)

So great was the Islamic emphasis on parents, that the Muslims considered a great opportunity to attain paradise in service to one's mother. Iyâs Ibn Mu'âwiyah was a famous Islamic scholar from the second generation of Muslims. When his mother died, Iyâs Ibn Mu'âwiyah cried. He was asked, "Why do you cry?" He said, "I used to have two gates open to Paradise, now one of them is closed."

Zayn al-'Abidîn (d. 713CE) was the great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and also a renowned scholar. He used to treat his mother with so much kindness and love as seen in the following narration:Once he was asked, 'You are the most kind person to his mother, yet we have never seen you eating with her from a single dish.' He replied, 'I fear that my hand would take the what her eyes have already seen in the dish, and then I would be disobeying her'. [At-Tartushi, Birr al-Wâlidayn]In other words, he was so careful not to disobey his mother that he would even avoid eating out of the same plate as her; He thought that she would see a morsel and intend to take it, but before she did he might unknowingly take that same morsel and eat it. This is how careful he was to obey his mother in the most minute details.Another early Islamic scholar, Sa'îd Ibn Al-Musayyib (d. 709CE), was asked about the meaning of the verse "but address them in terms of honor" (17:23). Sa'îd Ibn Al-Musayyib replied:

It means that you should address them as a servant addresses his master.

Muhammad Ibn Sirîn (d. 729CE) used to speak to his mother in a very soft voice, out of respect for her. He was also often seen in the company of his mother and looking after her. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)All that has preceded shows how the status of mothers - and consequently that of women - is elevated to the highest position in Islam. The honor Islam has given to mothers is beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is clear proof of the lofty status of Muslim Women.Source: http://www.islamswomen.com/articles/mothers_in_islam.php@@@

Economic Independence and Education of Muslim Girls...www.jannah.org

Economic Independence and Education of Muslim Girls...www.jannah.org

Islam grants woman equal rights to contract, to enterprise, to earn and possess independently. Her life, her property, her honor are as sacred as those of man. If she commits any offense, her penalty is no less or more than of man's in a similar case. If she is wronged or harmed, she gets due compensations equal to what a man in her position would get (2:178;4:45, 92-93).

Islam does not state these rights in a statistical form and then relax. It has taken all measures to safeguard them and put them into practice as integral articles of Faith. It never tolerates those who are inclined to prejudice against woman or discrimination between man and woman. Time and again, the Qur'an reproaches those who used to believe woman to be inferior to man (16:57-59, 62; 42:47-59; 43:15-19; 53:21-23).

She is equal to man in the pursuit of education and knowledge. When Islam enjoins the seeking of knowledge upon Muslims, it makes no distinction between man and woman. Almost fourteen centuries ago,Muhammad declared that the pursuit of knowledge is incumbent on every Muslim male and female. This declaration was very clear and was implemented by Muslims throughout history.

She is entitled to freedom of expression as much as man is. Her sound opinions are taken into consideration and cannot be disregarded just because she happen to belong to the female sex. It is reported in the Qur'an and history that woman not only expressed her opinion freely but also argued and participated in serious discussions with the Prophet himself as well as with other Muslim leaders (Qur'an, 58:1-4; 60:10-12). Besides there were occasions when Muslim women expressed their views on legislative matters of public interest, and stood in opposition to the Caliphs, who then accepted the sound arguments of these women. A specific example took place during the Califate of Umar Ibn al-Khattab.

Islamic sources do not prevent Muslim women from working and receiving wages. In the agricultural sector of traditional Islamic society women always worked with men and they were very active in many of the arts and crafts. Islam gave women complete economic independence even from their husbands, and over the ages many women have also engaged in trade and been merchants, as was the Prophet's wife Khadija.

Likewise, there is no objection in principle to Muslim women participating in politics. Before modern times there were even occasionally Muslim queens who ruled independently and many others who exerted great political power behind the scenes. In fact, Zainab (the granddaughter of the Prophet) played a major political role in early Islamic history, as did a number of other women.

The views of Islam concerning women bring us back to the question of the Hijab and covering.The Quran commands both men and women to dress modestly and to not display their bodies, and the Prophet asserted that modesty is a central quality in Islam. The Quran also commands women to not display their "ornaments" (zinah) (see Surah 24 (al-Noor), Ayah 30-31).

Accordingly, various forms of dress were developed in different parts of the Islamic world.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Surf the web as it was - BETA version! http://web.archive.org/index.jsp

The Internet Archive's Wayback Machine puts the history of the World Wide Web at your fingertips. We invite you to explore this new, BETA version of the Wayback Machine and contact us with any feedback. The classic version of the Wayback Machine is still available at classic-web.archive.org/.

Why Men Love Maids

Source : http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_500/558_why-men-love-maids.html

Two famous men are currently involved in sex scandals involving maids. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, also not to forget that hindi film actor,

we're talking about dominance, the driving force behind many a fetish.

"The maid is a servant, so there's this whole thing of being in charge of somebody else and being able to tell them what to do," observes sexual commentator David Steinberg, author of Divas of San Francisco. "For white guys, there's often an issue of racial dominance built into the situation, because maids these days are often not white.

"Whether it's the boss and the secretary, the doctor and the nurse, or the homeowner and the maid, you've got a white male who's in a position of authority over a non-white woman, and there's a lot of sexual energy that goes on around that in general," Steinberg says.

You know her name. She knows yours. But she's not here not to socialize. She is here to be paid, this cleaner of your private places who is neither you nor your spouse but a semi-stranger whom you might not even recognize, much less greet, out of uniform.

She sees the skid marks on your sheets.

"It's also about men wanting to look at women on their knees. Men want to know that women are there to clean up after them. You only have to look at porn to figure that out."

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Does Daily sex increases chances of pregnancy ? Pregnancy Against All Odds

Source: http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/relationships/pregnancy-against-all-odds-blog-23-india-today.html

Q: Is male infertility a serious threat?

A: It accounts for 40 per cent of all infertility, primarily due to sperm defects. Sometimes this is brought on by external factors like tight innerwear, very hot baths, smoking, exposure to radiation and toxic chemicals. Sometimes there's a physiological basis-diabetes, hypothyroidism or genetic aberrations.

Q: What about infertility in women?

A: I see many young women who show signs and symptoms of polycystic ovaries, a condition associated with metabolic disorders and obesity. From job pressure to vehicular pollution, postponing parenthood to sexual liberation, fast food to sedentary lifestyle, all have been linked to infertility.

Conception Timeline

A: woman's fertility peaks between age 27 and 34. That's the best time to have the first baby. The best time to get pregnant? Watch out for the narrow window of time during ovulation, two weeks into the menstrual cycle. The life of a human egg is about 36 hours, while a sperm can survive in a woman's body for about 48 hours.

30% more chances of conception every month if a couple engages in unprotected sex at least three times a week.

Myth : Daily sex increases chances of pregnancy

Reality : No it doesn't. It may, in fact, bring down sperm count on the day of ovulation.

Source: The Complete Guide to Becoming Pregnant. Dr. Firuza R. Parikh. Random House India. 2011

When Dr Firuza Parikh came back from the US to set up India's first private in vitro fertilisation (IVF) centre at Mumbai's Jaslok Hospital in the early '90s, her colleagues at the Yale School of Medicine were stunned: "Infertility in India?"

Source: http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/relationships/pregnancy-against-all-odds-blog-23-india-today.html

only 3 pc people say they have sex daily

Source:http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/love-sex/sex-drive-slow-only-3-pc-people-say-they-have-sex-daily-poll-blog-74-ani-news.html

According to a recent poll conducted by adult products company Adam and Eve, only three percent of the respondents said they had sex daily.

Nearly 20 percent admitted that they weren't sexually active.

Out of the 1,000 men and women surveyed, 5 percent admitted to never having had sex in their lives while, the majority of respondents (26 percent) said they have sex once or twice a week.

16 percent of the remaining participants said they had sex three to four times a week whereas, 15 percent admitted to having sex once or twice a month, reports the New York Daily News.

7 percent said they had sex every few months.

A mere 1 percent enjoyed sex more than once a day, reveals the poll. (ANI)

Sex tips for busy people

Source:http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/life-work/sex-tips-busy-people-article-ilmh.html

You're finally earning a 6-digit salary, your career's on fast-track. It's tough but you're managing to squeeze in a 45-minute workout three times a week. You also ran your first marathon this year- and can't wait for the next.

In this dream scenario, fit in a forever blinking Blackberry, everyday pressures and a working wife (that = work stress x 2) an increasing number of urban Indian couples are losing their sex lives to ambition and success. Here's how you can avoid the trap...

Remember when you first had a steady girlfriend you couldn't keep your hands off? Your single mates envied your persistent public displays of affection and you'd gloat over those sneaky-quickies that followed. You hated parental restrictions for getting in the way of a five-minute under-the-shirt action and fantasised about a married life, minus the rules and packed with lust. You thought this lust would last forever, didn't you?

Now picture this reality. You're home from a 12-hour workday and an hour-long commute to find her on a conference-call, making throatslitting gestures to her absent boss while you collapse in an exhausted heap on the couch. Forget your favourite wine, you're seriously thinking about drinking a glass of milk every night, you've been told it'll help you sleep. Sex? Shudder- you're almost praying for her to have a headache!

It isn't an exaggeration to say the sex lives of urban couples is in crisis mode these days. Workplaces from hell, killer commutes, bills and loans, snarky colleagues and 24/7 cricket on ESPN, none of it is geared to make you feel sexy. You're not alone.

According to a recent survey in the US by the National Sleep Foundation, one in four Americans who're married/living with someone say they're mostly too tired to have sex. "I would even say it's an epidemic," said Peter Fraenkel, a New York-based couples therapist, in an interview to CBS's 48 Hours. Another survey reports that nearly half of all married couples in the US have sex only between once and thrice a month.

Yet, sex is a basic need and it's critical to a relationship-not to mention, it's a ton of fun! What you need, then, are ways to factor sex into your life without feeling you're ticking off another task on your bottomless to-do list. Start here!

1. Planning is underrated
Do you show up at airports without booking a flight? No. Leave hotel reservations on vacation to chance? No. Hell, do you show up at a client's without an appointment? Naah. Fact is, planning pays big dividends. Yet, when it comes to sex, planning is considered unexciting. What's really unexciting, however, is the 'spontaneous' sex you're never having but want to nonetheless.

You don't have to detail every aspect of your sex lives ahead of time, but figuring out with your partner how often you both ideally want sex, then working towards making time for it, is hardly rocket science. There's no right and wrong frequency, just what works for the two of you. "My wife and I have been married five years and recently we found we simply weren't getting it on for weeks.

She was tired or I was, or we had social commitments that exhausted us post-work. I panicked-I mean, I was barely 30 and it looked like my sex life was over! We talked it over and have made a zero-tolerance rule ever since-Friday nights are ours alone. We don't go to parties, events or anywhere else. The only time the rule is broken is if one of us is travelling on work, or if either's parents have anniversaries/birthdays," says Rohan Nadkarni, 31, a Mumbai-based commodities trader.

"Friends made fun of us in the beginning and there was whining when we didn't show up at a pal's dinner or birthday, but over time everyone respects our choice. We go out to dinner or grab takeaways together-sometimes we'll stay in and cook, talk, open a bottle of wine. It's just the perfect, low-stress way to start a weekend. And most Fridays, we're having sex! Sure, we know it ahead of time. But that only makes it better when, Friday evening I'm driving home from work and I know what the evening-and the whole night- has in store," he laughs.

Have kids? Make one day a week non-negotiable for the two of you, and ignore anyone who says otherwise. Kids who grow up with parents that act like a couple, not just 'mom-dad', are way likelier to have a positive view of relationships in the future.

2. Stay edgy
We've all heard the homily about sex being between the ears and not between the legs; that's as true today as it was when you first heard it. Sex is the outcome of attraction, and attraction isn't a cactus plant-it won't grow on air and water alone.

It needs all the signs you first showed when you started dating-you stayed fit, dressed hot, laughed often, surprised her, flirted with her publicly, held her hand or put your arm around her waist. You played footsie under tables and had private jokes that no-one else got. You made out in the car and sometimes at parties in the dark. Your connection was intimate, naughty, urgent.

Sure, the urgency will recede, and the need to impress won't be allconsuming. And that's a good thing, it spells the end of initial insecurities about each other. What isn't good? Losing the intimacy that went with it. You can have one without the other, though. Touch each other, make certain gestures or conversations intimate instead of routine, and see how you can keep things simmering.

"I read something in a magazine once that sounded so simple, I didn't see how it could matter," reveals Sanjukta Shankar, 27, Gurgaon-based interior designer who's been dating boyfriend Amit Jindal, 30, for five years.

"It said touch each other even when there's no need to; like, if I wanted my boyfriend to give me the car keys, for instance, I should reach into his pocket for them instead of asking. So I did; we were at this bar with friends, and I deliberately slid my hands into the back pocket of his jeans to ostensibly get the keys. You will not believe how his eyes widened," she grins. "He was far more 'aware' of me the rest of that evening." That awareness is what keeps you tuned into each other physically.

3. Sex-up the setting
If Arnab Goswami is the soundtrack to your bedroom encounters, it may explain why you're not in the mood very often. Sexy is a state of mind, even more so for women, who're very sensitive to atmosphere. No, that doesn't mean you turn into a sop with a frilly pink bedroom, but you certainly need to work at setting the tone for a relaxed, seductive space. A few small touches-chillout music, intimate lighting, a couple of candles-go a long way, with little effort.

The bigger challenge? Keeping your bedroom a no-TV zone; ditto for laptops and other stress-inducing gadgets. As for the Blackberry? Keep it on silent and out of arm's reach post 10pm if you want to have any kind of sex life at all!

This isn't all psycho-babble. As early as 30 years ago, Alvin Toffler, legendary futurist, warned us of information overload in his bestselling book Future Shock. Arguing that the human brain has a fi nite ability to process information, he demonstrated that unless we consciously limit how much information we access every day, mental and physical stress are inevitable. And as research has repeatedly shown, the first thing to take a hit when stress strikes a couple's life? Sex!

To prevent your sex life from becoming a victim of information overload, consciously turn your bedroom into a purely leisure zone.

4. Get creative
Half the battle is won when you can get your mind primed to think about sex often, despite a stressed-out, packed schedule. A trick that works? Turn it into a creativity game with your partner. Have a 'sexy' shelf/drawer (lockable, please, unless you'd like to give a nosy maid the shock treatment) in your bedroom to aid creativity: Start with a variety of condoms; lube; a silk scarf; erotic DVDs or even literature; a sex toy or two, if that works for you. Agree that each of you needs to add 'elements' to the shelf on a monthly basis; it'll keep you both thinking of creative things you can use in the bedroom, and put sex front-and-centre on the agenda.

"My girlfriend and I had great sex, but it was fairly typical," says Neeraj Dutt, 38, partner in a New Delhibased consulting fi rm. "Then, on a trip to Germany, I was transiting at Frankfurt airport and saw a 'naughty' shop. I strolled in out of curiosity and it was, of course, a fetishist's dream. The store attendants and other customers were so blase that it gave me the nerve to pick up a fun pair of handcuffs," he laughs. "To be honest, it's been three months and we haven't used them yet, but just bringing them home to Ritika (his girlfriend) has sparked things up hugely. We tease each other about how we'll use them; and who gets to go first."

The benefits aren't limited to the bedroom alone, though. "Sharing something quirky or intimate like this totally makes you closer, it's like a dirty secret only the two of you know," says Neeraj. "Ritika and I have this innuendo thing going on, sometimes even in company, all based on the handcuffs, except no-one else gets the jokes but us. It's sexy and fun, and I'm constantly amazed how one impulse buy has shaken things up so much for us."

5. Quickies exist for a reason
Yes, we've always said sex is something to savour, to bring pleasure and intimacy to your lives. But when your choices are no sex or the instant version? The latter, every single time! You find time to have a shower, read the paper, watch the news or make a couple of quick calls to friends, don't you? Then you've got time for a quickie. And having a quickie doesn't mean one of you is always shortchanged-make a deal where you focus on your pleasure one time, hers the next.

Tip: If sex is always the last thing slotted into your day, it'll invariably get struck off the list, because your body and mind are both typically drained by then. Morning sex, in-the-shower sex, beforedinner sex, got-to-go-out-and-buy-groceries sex; a quickie is great precisely because you can fit it in without needing large doses of time and intimacy. Take the hint and prioritise the act.

6 Make life simpler
Sometimes, the solution to being too busy or too tired for sex is simply to lessen the load. Sex isn't an add-on, something you fi t in after everything else is done. Instead, if mundane logistics are getting in the way of getting it on, cut some of them out and make your sex life the priority. Wife/girlfriend constantly tired because she gets home from work and hits the kitchen?

Fix two nights a week to order takeaway and give her some downtime. Nephews and neices running riot all evening? Bribe a young cousin to come look after them while you whisk her off for a real 'date'. You head to the gym for a rigorous session every evening? Sacrilege, I know, but cut it down to four times a week and give yourself a breather. You'll be setting the sheets afire.

good reason to have regular sex is to maintain the optimum balance of sex hormones in the body. "Sexual activity and hormones are interlinked. While hormones are required to maintain a good sex life, abstinence can lead to fall in their optimal levels. These hormones are also essential to maintain a healthy body. It has been unequivocally established that people with lower levels of testosterone tend to suffer from depression and poor muscle mass. They are also at greater risk of memory loss and osteoporosis," says Dr Wadia.

In women, sex hormone estrogen offers protection against heart disease and in the long run, it can be beneficial against Alzheimer's disease and osteoporosis.

If all these benefits fail to convince you still, here’s the deal breaker: A 10- year research carried on 1,000 middle- aged men at Queens University in Ireland showed that sex on a regular basis increases the human lifespan.

For the same age and health, those who had orgasms more frequently had half the death rate of men who did not have such frequent orgasms.

This could be due to the culminating effects of stress reduction, protection against heart attack and prostate cancer besides benefits in face of osteoporosis.

Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men may reduce the risk of prostate cancer and enlargement of prostate gland later in life.