Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn.
Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself.
Warm up some massage oil by rubbing it with both hands, then spread it all over his penis and testicles. Place one hand on the shaft of his penis, and start stroking it in an up and down motion, says Cadell. Meanwhile, use the other hand to gently roll his testicles in your palm. Do this in slow-mo for at least a few minutes.
"On the female genitals, it's best to switch to a water-based lubricant because if oil gets inside the vagina, it can cause irritation," says Cadell. Make sure to warm the lube with your hands first before placing them in her vagina. Nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm
- Start with her breasts, using a good amount of lubricant. If the lube is not warm, apply it to your hands first to warm it. Use the palms of your hands, moving in large motions. Do the same thing to each breast at the same time, then use both hands on one, then the other. Your touch should be soft; don’t apply too much pressure. Do the nipples last, and don’t do too much on them. Finish the breasts with more full breast strokes before you move to her vulva.
- Sit or kneel between her legs. DO NOT hurry for her clitoris. This is not about getting her to climax as fast as possible; it’s about giving her a huge amount of pleasure. You don’t want to even indirectly stimulate her clitoris for AT LEAST the first five minutes.
- Start on her inner thighs. Use plenty of lube and run your hands up and down the inside of her legs from about halfway to the knee and up. Initially, don’t go past the crease where her legs join her body. Gradually start to trace the crease, and very slowly move your hands in closer and closer to her vulva until you’re brushing her outer labia. Apply oil to her outer labia now, and spread it around without moving past the outer lips for a while.
- Apply some lubricant at the top of her vulva and allow it to run down. Use your hand to keep it from going too far, gently moving it back up with a light touch. Now focus on the outer lips for a while. Massage each one in turn with both hands, taking the labia between thumb and fingers as you gently work up and down the lip. Next place one hand on each labia, covering each but leaving the inner labia alone. Press in slowly but firmly. Move your hands up and down together, in the opposite direction, in circles together, and circles in opposite directions. Hold firmly enough the labia move with your hands, and then slip out. Then hold lightly enough you slide over the labia. Switch back and forth.
- Apply more lube, and place a palm over her entire vulva. As above, apply pressure slowly. Move in various ways, moving the flesh of her vulva as you go. Make your touch feather light so you move over her skin, then back to a firmer touch. Take your time; go slow.
- Move to her inner labia. Stoke, rub, and pull (not too hard) outward and downward.
- Move both hands over her entire vulva, one after the other. Go downward for a while, then upward (with the backs of your hands) then up and down. Hold her inner labia between a thumb and forefinger and move and pull them in and out, up and down, left and right, and in circles.
- Place two fingers either side of her clitoris, far enough apart to be on the outer labia. Press in, causing the labia and the clitoris to move up between your fingers. Vary the separation of your fingers, force used, and speed, watching how each affects her.
- As above, but press in then make small circles with your hand.
- With one finger or your thumb, very gently push the clitoral hood upwards toward her belly button, exposing the clitoris. Some women can handle light, direct touch of the clitoris when they’re highly aroused, many women can’t.
- Move the hood up and down over the clitoris, using it to simulate her.
- Place a finger over the clitoris, press in, and move. Vary speed, pressure, and movements. If her clitoris is firm, you can bump over it from side to side.
- Move inside. Insert one finger S L O W L Y. Move around the vagina, pressing firmly.
- Move your finger in and out. Add a second, and maybe a third finger. Continue to massage the clitoris with the other hand.
- Press on various parts of the vagina. Find what she likes.
- Massage the G-spot, which is on the upper wall of the vagina. With the palm of your hand up, curl the one or two fingers inside. As you stimulate it, the G-spot may become more firm or pronounced. Pressure is better than movement for most women.
- Find what makes her feel good, and keep doing them. Don’t hurry, the longer it takes her to get there, the better it will be for her. If she gives any feedback be sure to follow it. Also, look for signs from her body that what you’re doing is good, or not, or maybe too stimulating.
- If she pleads for you to finish her, do so. Some women will lose the edge if they’ are held there too long, and others will become so frustrated they either don’t climax, or don’t enjoy it as much as they could.
- If you know from experience she is unlikely to climax from your hands alone, have a vibrator handy – but don’t be surprised if slow focused attention takes her places she’s never been before.
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