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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Customer Care in 2020

Customer Care in 2020
==================

Operator :  "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer:  "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator  : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first,  Sir?"

Customer:  "It's eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610"

Operator  : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your  home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile  is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now  Sir?"

Customer:  "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"

Operator  : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer:  "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator  : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer:  "How come?"

Operator  : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and  even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer:  "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator  : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer:  "How do you know for sure?"

Operator  : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer:  "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will  that cost?"

Operator  : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer:  "Can I pay by credit card?"

Operator  : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash,Sir. Your credit card is over the  limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's  not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer:  "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash  before your guy arrives"

Operator  : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your daily limit  on machine withdrawal today"

Customer:  "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is  it gonna take anyway?"

Operator  : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and  collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer:  " What!"

Operator  : "According to the details in system ,you own Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer:  " ????"

Operator  : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer:  "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of  cola as advertised?"

Operator  : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer:  #$$^%& $@$%^"

Operator  "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987you  were convicted of using abusive language on a  policeman...?"

Customer:  [Speechless]

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